There's Too Much Green To Feel Blue

"Chill, apple cinammon." Sam had said.
"Chill? You're giving half naked pictures of yourself to guys! Why?" Peter cried.
"He asked." Sam shrugged, "And I wasn't half naked."
"He asked? So, what if he had asked you to dress up like a cowgirl and do a pole dance?"
Sam frowned up at his weird question.
"You gave him something for your own gratification, that's called prostitution." Peter remarked.
This time, Sam's frown deepened. She snatched her Ipod from the player, inserted the headphones into her ears and blasted From First to Last, as she always did when she was mad. Sam turned in the seat and snuggled near the window so that Peter could only see the back of her head, shirt and shorts. Of course, Peter instantly regretted what he had said to her, he had just said it out of spite. The rest of the car ride went on in silence.
It had been hours since the last conversation. It was already afternoon. They were walking into the apartment building. To show how sorry he was, he was carrying her beach bag and walking behind her spitting out any apology that came to mind. He did this up the stairs, in the elevator and throught the hallway up to his doorstop. She didn't speak until they were in front of his door. When they were there, she spun around and faced him. She pointed a finger straight at him. Somehow the simple gesture frightened Peter.
"You called me a prostitute, Peter Wentz!" she accused, grabbing her beach bag from him.
"No, I didn't mean it the way it came out." Peter cried to explain.
"Oh, really?" Sam crossed her arms, "Then what were you trying to say? That I'm LIKE a prostitute? That I LOOK like one? That I ACT like one? Explain yourself, you short, desperate man."
"Sam, I," Peter tried not to laugh at her last remark. She always made him laugh, "I really didn't mean it--"
"You're just mad because I ate all of your burritos!" Sam suddenly yelled.
Both of Peter's hands flew to his mouth, "The veggie burritos in the freezer? You ate them all?"
Sam narrowed her eyes at him, "They had too much vegetables." she said in a low voice.
Peter gasped, "The sun has obviously damaged your brain--"
"Ugh, I am talking to an ignoramus!" Sam cried.
"The only one that's talking to an ignoramus here is you!" Peter cried. He blinked, "Wait, I said that wrong--"
"Your face is wrong." Sam said childishly.
"And the sun has brain damaged you and until you're recovered, I will say good day to you."
"That's fine with me." Sam said stepping beside him and walking to the elevator.
The smell of sea water and strawberries wafted into his nostrils as she walked by.
"That bikini didn't look that good on you!" Peter called. He was totally lying.
"I peed on you while you were carrying me in the water!" Sam said as she pressed the elevator button.
Peter let out an indignant shriek, "Your cooking is horrible!"
"Your fireman is the size of my pinky!" The elevator doors dinged open, "But only if I fold it in half!"
Peter's mouth dropped open. Sam disappeared into the elevator.

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The next morning, Peter pulled on tight jeans, a light purple skirt and went straight to Sam's place. He knocked and Sam answered on the second knock. She was wearing a blue and black striped long sweater dress with sleeves that stopped just below her elbows and black leggings. She pursed her lips upon seeing him.
"Sam, I'm sorry I called you a prostitute." he said.
"Well, thank you." Sam said stiffly.
Peter blinked at her, "Your turn."
Sam sighed, "All right, I'm sorry I ate your burritos."
"You rolled your eyes!" Peter said, "That means you don't mean it."
"But they were my burritos, Sam, my burritos!" Peter cried.
"Ugh, fine, I'm sorry I ate your burritos." Sam said irritated.
"You rolled your eyes again!" Peter said exasperated.
"Fine, I'm sorry I ate your burritos and I'm sorry I called you an ignoramus." Sam said.
"I'm sorry I called you brain damaged."
"I'm sorry I said your face was wrong," she bowed her head and smiled, "Your face is very right."
"And that bikini looked awesome on you. I should've asked you for a picture, too." Pete blushed, "And I kinda wish you were wearing it right now."
"I didn't pee on you and your little man is a hell of a lot more than my tiny pinky." she giggled and waved her pinky at him.
"And you cook like a, um, a....cooking machine." Peter said, "Actually better."
"And I'm sorry I said that you have the fashion sense of a nine year old Hannah Montana obsessed girl on crack."
Peter frowned at her, "You didn't tell me that."
"Yeah, I did, you just weren't around. Sorry." Sam said.
"Huh." Peter said, "That's cool, then. Let me in, I'm cooking you breakfast."
They went inside. Sam layed on the couch while Pete went directly to the fridge.
"Hash texted me." Peter called, "She's going to drop Lily off today."
"You're joking." Sam said.
"I know, it's a miracle." Peter said, "Nah, she's going to some party tonight."
"So she's bringing her here so that she can go party." Sam concluded, "I'm buying her a 'best mother in the world' cup."
Peter chuckled.
"Peter?" Sam sat up, "Did you buy fresh water and juice for Lily? Remember we took it all with us yesterday."
"Oh, shoot, no." Peter said as he chopped bananas on the counter, "I was really distracted by all the sand that I brought home with me. I had so much in my underwear."
"Huh, that's what that was." Sam murmured.
"What?" Peter asked.
"Nothing." Sam said, "We can go after we eat."
They finished eating their fruit in no time, as they often did. Afterwards, Sam grabbed her famous DCMA jacket. They were feet from the door when there was a sudden knock.
"Oh, God, please don't tell me that woman is here again." Sam said, "I will mess her up." Sam quickly opened the door.
To their surprise, there was a man at the door. He blinked at them, "I'm sorry, I think I got the wrong floor."
"Oh, that's cool, where do you need to go?" Sam asked.
The man showed Sam a small slip of paper. Sam took it and read it. The man studied Sam as she examined the paper. Peter crossed his arms and cleared his throat. The man glanced at him and then stared at the ceiling.
"This is two floors up." Sam said handing him back the paper.
"Thanks." the guy grinned at her.
Peter breathed in heavily. The guy glanced at him again.
"Oh, well, see ya." the guy waved, turned and left.
"Remember to love and not hate!" Sam called after him. She turned to Peter, "Let's go, Kool Aid Man."
They left the apartment and walked down the hallway.
"That guy just totally eye raped you!" Peter said.
Sam frowned, "Eww."
"You have that effect on guys." Peter said.
"What, I make it easy for them to eye rape me?" Sam asked slightly horrified.
"Well, yeah." Peter said.
Sam remained silent and thoughtful. She didn't say anything until they were out of the lobby and on the sidewalk.
"Guys don't stare at me." she finally said.
Peter had been counting off the stares as they walked. He glanced at his left and right, "You obviously don't know a guy's mind."
"Maybe not." Sam admitted, "But it's not like I'm the only attractive person here."
"What, you mean me?" Peter asked confused.
"Yes, you beautiful llama." Sam said, "Girls stare at you too, you're just too absorbed in your world to notice."
"I think you have the same problem." Peter said.
"You could find yourself a gorgeous girl that'll make you forget about Hash." Sam said.
"Really?" Sam said uncertainly.
"Yeah, a girl that's pretty like me." Sam said.
They laughed. They reached the store. Peter opened the door for Sam and they entered. They quickly spread out in the store and grabbed their necessary items. Peter was pleased to see that, for once, Sam wasn't staring at Max.
There was a girl in the store. She kept circling around the aisle where Peter stood. Peter glanced at her once and didn't pay her any more attention. Sam quickly payed for their items and went to where Peter stood.
"Well, that girl seemed nice." Peter said as the girl exited the store, "I'm not sure if she saw me."
"She did." Sam assured him.
They walked toward the door.
"Was she cute?" Sam asked.
"Yes." Peter answered.
"Was she cuter than me?" Sam asked.
"No." Peter answered truthfully. He smirked, "Just better."
Sam playfully smacked him. Peter took the plastic bag from her hand and placed an arm around her as they walked.
It was about two o'clock when there was a knock on Peter's door. Peter answered. It was Hash, Mike and Lily.
"Daddy!" Lily cried. She ran and hugged his legs.
"Hay, baby." Peter said struggling to stand up right.
Lily peered over his legs, "Sam!" she rushed to Sam and hugged her legs, "Hola!"
"Hola pequena." Sam greeted.
Hash looked over at Sam too, "Look, boys," she smirked, "a lonely woman."
"Look, boys," Sam mimicked, "a bald woman." she stepped past Peter and reached for Hash's hair with both hands.
"Whoa, whoa!" Peter immediately pulled her back from her small waist.
Mike pushed Hash aside and stepped forward. He scooped up little Sam from her waist and carried her into the apartment, "Chill, Sam." he put her down.
Sam pointed an accusing finger at Hash. She was fearful of what she was about to ask, "Why are you calling me a lonely woman?"
Hash shrugged and smiled, "William has a video blog."
"That sneaky--" Sam began but then saw that Lily was observing them, "--elephant...face."
Lily giggled.
"Sam, Sam." Mike said, "I broughtly you a bracelet."
Sam gasped and Hash and Peter turned and scowled at them. Mike pulled a small colorful bracelet from his jeans pocket.
"I love it!" Sam exclaimed as he handed it to her.
Peter grinded his teeth.
"Now I have to get you something." Sam said.
"Nah, don't worry about it." Mike turned and threw himself onto the couch, "Besides, that was kind of a thank you for that pic--"
"Lily, I have your necklace." Sam said stepping to the counter. She swiped it from the counter top then bent down and placed it around Lily's neck.
"Yay!" Lily cheered, "Now the ocean will be with me wherever I go."
"Whoa." Mike sat up, "That's deep, little girl."
"Mike, get up, we're leaving." Hash said annoyed. As always, Mike obeyed.
Hash spoke once Mike was safely standing behind her. She placed her hands on her hips and surveyed the apartment, "Just thinking, in a few weeks this will all be mine."
In a flash, Sam marched over, stepped past Peter and stood defiantly in front of Hash, "No, it won't. I'll make sure you don't get anything but the bitter taste of defeat."
"Peter, when are you going to start to defend yourself and not let the lonely white lady stand up for you?" Hash smirked at Sam, "The loney white lady....with the ugly jacket."
Sam's eyes went wide. Mike and Peter immediately sensed trouble.
Sam's hands were fists shaking at her sides. She narrowed her eyes at Hash, "Meet me in the lobby." she said in a deadly voice, "now."
Peter, who hadn't said anything the whole time, felt fear crawl up from the pit of his stomach.
The last word Sam had said sounded eerily demonic, "Sam, don't do this." Peter said warily.
"She just dissed my DCMA jacket. My favorite DCMA jacket." Sam said. She faced Hash, "Let's rock." she began to stride quickly down the hallway.
"Not the DCMA jacket." Peter murmured to himself.
Mike and Hash had followed Sam downstairs. Not because Hash wanted to fight but because they wanted to leave. At least, Hash wanted to leave. Peter had left Lily in the apartment. He had instructed her not to leave and not to open the door and then he locked it. He hated leaving Lily by herself but if something was about to go down, he didn't want Lily exposed to that.
Peter chased after the others. Sam was standing in the lobby. Hash and Mike were coming down the stairs. Peter ran down the steps after them.
"Okay, let's do this." Sam grabbed Hash's arm and pulled her in front of her, "This is pure street rules, anything goes." Sam crossed her arms, "You might want to put down your two dollar sunglasses and six dollar knock off bag."
Peter rushed to them, "Sam, you're not really going to do this?"
Sam slipped off her jacket and handed it to him, "Yep, I have to. Besides," she looked at Hash, "she has it coming."
"This is stupid?" Hash cried.
"Scared?" Sam taunted.
"Not of you." Hash narrowed her eyes, "And it is an ugly jacket."
"Bring it, bitch." Sam lashed toward her. Peter grabbed her.
Hash rolled her eyes, "Let's go." She walked toward the door.
"That's right, walk away. Walk away like you always do from everything good in your life!" Sam slipped from Peter's grasp, grabbed Hash's skinny arm and roughly pulled her back, "You're not getting away from this one!" she yelled.
Robert hear the yells and wandered over to the lobby.
"You're crazy." Hash said almost fearfully.
"You're a wuss." Sam said.
"You're hair is ugly." Hash said.
Pete, Mike and Robert winced.
"Half of your hair is fake." Sam said.
Pete, Mike and robert oohed.
"You're fat." Hash said.
The boys gasped. Peter released Sam and stood off to the side with the other boys.
Sam placed her hands on her hips and leaned toward Hash, "Yeah, I'm fat, just like your ass."
Peter and Robert gasped. Mike laughed out loud.
"Mike" Hash scolded, "She's right." Mike laughed.
Hash's mouth dropped open.
"Stop talking, let me give it to you.!" Sam cried.
No sooner had she said that, William slithered down the stairs and peered in. He took one look at the scene : Sam and Hash facing each other and the boys off to the side watching. William joined the boys.
Peter placed a hand on Sam's chest to stop her.
"My butt isn't fat." Hash defended.
"Right, just like your nose and chin aren't fake." Sam insulted.
The four boys gasped. Brendon just happened to be walking by the apartment building. He heard the yells and walked inside.
Silently, he walked in and joined the boys.
"You have the devils curly hair." Hash said.
"You have the devils red hair." Sam shot back.
"I'm prettier than you." Hash said.
"Of course you're prettier than me, Mrs. Plastic Surgery Face." Sam shot.
Pete, Mike, Brendon and Robert gasped while William laughed and said, "Gotch, bitch!"
"I'll kill you." Hash took a step forward.
Sam did the same, "I'll kill you 'til you're dead. Ass face."
Hash raised her hand.
"Hey!" Every boy rushed forward and tried to walk over each other as they scolded the girls. Everyone rushed to hold Sam back and Mike stood between her and Hash and placed his hands on Sam's shoulders.
"Mike," Hash cried, "Why aren't you holding me back?"
"Well," Mike laughed, "She'd kick your ass, babe."
Hash placed a hand on her chest and gasped, "Fine! I'm leaving, Mike, with or without you." She strode forward and stormed out of the lobby.
"And I'm going upstairs--" Sam began.
"Oh, yeah." William said.
"--to practice non-violence. I am so glad Deepok Chopra wasn't here to see this. And if anybody bothers me, I'll punch the crap out of your emorexic bodies!" Sam fumed as she marched upstairs and into the elevator.
The boys waited until both girls had left. Then, they looked around at each other, laughed and slapped each other's backs and hands. They talked at the same time about what they had just seen and exchanged comments. After a few moments, they all departed and the lobby was empty.

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Peter had gone back up to his place, slipped Sam's jacket over himself and called Lily.
Currently, they were in the park. Peter was laying on the grass while Lily happily slipped circles around him. Lily was wearing a small cute white dress, white sandals and a yellow jacket/shirt. Lily was singing as she skipped.
Peter partially listened as he placed his hands under his head and stared up at the sky. The sky was still periwinkle blue and the sun wasn't up that high since it was three in the afternoon. He looked up at the sky and felt small, he felt incredibly tiny. He thought back to the ants he and Sam had stared at one of the last times they were here. He'd felt so big back then and now he felt like a speck. He wondered if giant beings were observing him now as he had been observing the ants.
"Just think, while I'm laying here, someone is having the best day of their life." he said to himself, "I am just a seed inside a great big bowl."
He took a deep, satisfying breath, Sam's jacket had him smelling strawberries everywhere.
He heard a small shriek. He sat up and turned to his right in time to see Lily fall on her back.
Peter looked over at her, "You see what you did to yourself? he asked.
Lily giggled.
Peter crawled over and picked his little girl.
"Daddy, I want a camel." she said as soon as she was on her feet.
"A camel?" Peter asked, "But they poop alot. Are you going to pick it up?"
Lily blinked, "Daddy, I want a dinosaur."
"We'll see." Peter said.
Lily turned and resumed running circles around him.
Peter layed back down and felt his phone vibrate in Sam's jacket pocket. He pulled it out and stared at the caler ID. Hash. Peter closed his eyes and took in a breath. He pressed the button and answered, "What?" he grinned, "Ass face."
"Ha ha." Hash said, "I just wanted to let you know that we've set a date."
Peter frowned, "You getting married?"
"Sure, one day I'll marry the man of my dreams." Hash taunted, "But I mean the date for the divorce trial."
Peter sat up in shock, "We're going to trial for this?"
"Yeah, since we're both fighting for Lily." Hash said.
"I want a DNA test." Peter said.
"Take it up with your lawyer." Hash said.
"I will do that." Peter said beginning to panic, "I better go...ass face!" he said spitefully.
He hung up and sighed. He hadn't gotten a lawyer yet. It had actually slipped his mind. Leave it to Hash to snap him back to reality.
He stood up, "Lily, time to go!"
Lily stopped skipping and turned to him, "No! You have to catch me!" she ran away.
"Damn it." he murmured, "Lily!" he ran after the little girl.
Peter caught her after ten minutes and they quickly returned to the apartment building. He called Sam as they walked back. She wasn't picking up her phone. He and Lily went to Sam's apartment and knocked. No answer. He twisted the knob but the door was locked. He went to his apartment but she wasn't there either. He tried calling again and texted her. He got no answer. So he locked Lily in the apartment again and went down to the lobby.
He walked up to Robert in his tiny office, "Hey, have you seen Sam?"
"Why are you asking me?" Robert asked.
"I don't know, I can't find her--" Peter and Robert turned as they heard footsteps.
William came in, "Wentz," he said and walked up to him, "where's Sam? I can't reach her. I went to the corner store to see if she was flirting with that Max guy--" Peter gritted his teeth, "--but she wasn't there."
They quieted as they heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.
A tall, built, pale man walked into the lobby. "Hey, do any of you know Sam?" he asked.
Robert, Peter and William seized him up.
Peter crossed his arms, "And, who are you?" he asked although he already knew the answer.
"Will, her ex-boyfriend." the man answered.
Peter felt a mizture of anger and jealousy well up in his chest. Robert narrowed his eyes at Will and William hands became fists.
"I went to her apartment and no one answered." Will said, "Then I thought I might've gotten the wrong place so I went two floors up but instead there was a girl named--"
"Sandy." William finished, "Yeah, I met her....once." he grinned, "And she slapped me afterwards because I told her I'd had better." he snickered.
"And who the hell are you?" Will turned to Peter.
"I'm her boss." Peter said.
"He's also sleeping with her." Robert muttered.
"And why are you looking for her?" Peter turned to William.
"Who are you?" Will asked.
William threw him a filthy look, "Her neighbor, what are you doing here?"
"None of your business." Will said gruffly.
"I'll make it my business--" William began.
"Shut up, William." Peter said.
"And what do you need her for?" William shot.
"Don't talk to Pete like that." Robert said stepping out from his office.
"This doesn't concern you." William said rudely.
"And, who are you, man?" Will asked Robert.
"What are you doing here?" Robert quizzed.
The men broke out into argument. They interrogated each other in loud voices.
Sam, dressed in a skin-tight, black, long sleeve dress, gracefully hopped out of the elevator, walked down the stairs and walked into the lobby. The four men turned to stare at her, "Sam!" they called out in unison.
She grinned. She held up a hand, "Bye!" she said. She turned and walked out the doors. The men ran after her. Sam stopped on the edge of the sidewalk, next to the very busy street, and turned to them. The boys lined up shoulder to shoulder.
"Sam, I want you back!" Will said.
"Sam, I need your help!" Peter said.
"Sam, where are you going?" Robert asked.
"Fuck me." William said.
The three men turned to look at William, who's eyes remained on Sam.
Sam simply stared at them. A car pulled up behind her back. Gabe was behind the wheel. Sam turned and got in the car.
"Who's he?" the men pointed and asked in unison.
Sam held up a hand, "Bye."