There's Too Much Green To Feel Blue

They snuggled in the car on the way to the court. Pete never thought he'd ever taste her strawberry lips again. But he was still astounded at her ability to find an outfit in such a short amount of time.
They made it to the courthouse with ten minutes to spare. They rushed out of the car. Hurley met them outside.
"Thank God, you're here!" Hurley cried.
"How's it looking, Mufasa?" Sam asked staring at Hurley's tied back red hair.
"Great, thank God for that pre-nup." Hurley said, "The real battle here is over that sweet little girl--"
"Little girl? Oh no, I need to call Gabe!" Sam immediately grabbed her phone and dialed.
"The first thing they're going to do is reveal the DNA results." hurley informed Pete.
"Okay." Peter nodded, "I'm ready."
"We better get inside." Hurley advised.
"Sure," Peter turned, "Sam?"
Sam hung up, Peter took her hand and led her inside. They walked inside the court house and located the right courtroom. They walked in. It was a big room where all the furniture was a light mahogany. In the very front was the large desk where the judge sat, next to it was the witness stand. On either side of the courtroom were rows of benches where friends and supporters sat. On the left side, in one of the rows, sat William. Sam gave him a curious look as they passed.
"We better sit, the judge will be coming soon." Hurley said, "I know the judge, this might go easier for us."
"Go ahead, I'll be right there." Sam urged Peter forward.
She stepped up to the relaxed William and sat next to him, "What are you doing here?" she hissed.

"What, you want me to be home and miss the party?" William asked. He grinned, "I see you decided to stay."
"Well, Peter was very persuasive." Sam gushed.
"You're stil mine, you know." William said.
"Oh, William, I would've missed you." Sam embraced him.
"Wentz is looking nice." William said looking at Peter, "Who are the old lovers?" he asked pointing at an older couple three rows ahead of them.
"Oh, those are Pete's parents. His mother hates me." Sam said.
"Why?" William asked.
"It's probably my beauty, style and grace." Sam said.
Peter's mother turned her head around and scowled straight at Sam.
"That must be it." William agreed.
"I'll see you, then." Sam said getting up.
"Nice lawyer choice." William said as Sam scooted out of the row.
She went directly to the row right behind the table Peter and Hurley were setting.
"Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God." hurley said his face in his hands.
"What? What is this? Have I got a chance in any of this?" Peter said beginning to panic, too.
"No, it's not that. I just get really nervous. I hope I don't pass out like I did last time." Hurley answered as his hands shook.
"What?" Peter cried, "You're the best! The best lawyer doesn't get stage fright!" he turned to look at Sam, "Sit with me." he begged and reached out his hand.
"I'm right here." Sam said soothingly, "Don't worry."
She turned to the right side. She saw Hash staring at daggers at her. She was wearing a long black sweater dress. Next to her was Mike in dark jeans, an over washed blue t-shirt, and a blue blazer. He smiled over at her. Then Hash smacked his knee. Sam's gaze moved to the man on Hash's left.
Sam flipped out, "Holy Joel Madden's socks! You look just like Dave Chapelle!" she pointed at Hash's lawyer.
He really did look like Dave Chapelle. He was skinny, bald, had the same shape of lips and he had the exact same skin color. He was wearing a gray suit, a formal black tie and an orange tie.
Sam got up and stepped to him, "Hello, I'm Sam." she offered her hand.
The man shook it, "Call me D.C."
Sam giggled at the irony, "Nice meeting you. What's your fee? If I knew there was a man that looked like Dave Chapelle that could represent me, I'd have hired him on the spot."
"Well, thank you." D.C. said.
"You even talk like him." Sam giggled harder, "Say 'I'm Rick James, bitch.' "
"Sam!" a small voice said.
Sam looked up and saw a small pair of hands from between Hash and Mike. The hands disappeared and then she saw Lily, dressed in purple leggings, a purple dress and a green jacket, attempting to get to her. But Hash had grabbed hold of her arm. Lily struggled for a few seconds before she stopped, turned to Hash and held a hand up front of her own face. Hash held up her hand and Lily pushed it, full force, into her face. Then Lily quickly bolted toward Sam. Sam kneeled down and caught her in an embrace.
"Lily!" Peter immediately got up and joined them, "How's my baby?"
"Terrible!" Lily cried, "Daddy, I want to go home, I hate it with Hash! Can we go now?"
"Lily, do you know where you are?" Peter asked.
"No." Lily said.
Peter looked up, "Hash, you didn't tell her what's happening?"
"I'm sure she knows." Hash said with a wave of her hand.
"Lily, okay, um," Peter said carefully, "the person that sits up there," he pointed to the judge's bench, "is going to say if you're going to live with me or mommy."
"Can he talk to her? Can he do that?" Hash asked D.C. from her seat.
"It's not againt the law." D.C. said.
"Can't I choose?" Lily asked.
"No, well." Sam said, "They're going to take you to a room and ask who you want to live with. Just say you want daddy and say something bad about Hash."
"Okay!" Lily said eagerly.
"Lily, come sit with mommy!" Hash called.
"No!" Lily yelled.
"You better go, remember what Sam said." Peter said.
Lily and D.C. took their seats.
"I'm going to have an anxiety attack." Peter said as he and Sam stood back up.
"The only one that's having an attack here is Hurley." Sam pointed at a slumped over Hurley.
"Oh, snap." Peter said and rushed to Hurley's side.
Sam resumed her seat and swung her feet playfully. She looked over at the right side to see who was there to support Hash. There were a few scattered people, maybe three. Sam turned behind her. There were Pete's parents, William and a guy in the far corner wearing a forest green cap. He looked like James Smith from Underoath.
A door on the left suddenly opened and a tall, muscular ebony colored security man emerged.
"All rise for the honorable Jude Jersey." he announced, "Court is now in session."
An even taller, somewhat stout, man in a long black robe. Everyone in the court room stood up. Sam kept staring at Jude Jersey. He looked like a very famous actor. They waited until he went to the bench and sat before they sat too.
"Court is now in session."
"Okay, how do you plead?" Jersey asked.
"No, your honor, its a divorce case." the security said.
"Oh, I see." Jersey said shuffling papers and extracting a folder, "Do the clients have a pre-nup?"
"Yes, your honor." D.C. said.
"Yes." Hurley squeaked.
"Then, what's the problem?" Jersey asked.
"There's a custody battle." the security said.
"Where's the kid?" Jersey asked.
"Right here, your honor." D.C. pointed at Lily, who waved back.
Judge Jersey paused while he read over the folder in his hands, "Okay, then, we'll have the DNA test--" Jersey's voice died down as he saw Sam with her arm in the air, "Um, yes?"
"Has anyone ever told you that look like Alec Baldwin?" she asked lowering her arm.
He really did, except slightly tanner. He even had the same husky voice.
"Um--"
"And are you from New Jersey?" Sam continued.
The judge burst out laughing.
"Sam, shush." Hurley hissed.
"No, I'm not from New Jersey." the judge chuckled.
"Good." Sam said.
"Well, let's move on to the DNA results." Jersey said. He pulled out a sheet of paper from the folder and read it over.
Sam saw Peter tense up in his seat. Peter tightly wrung his hands in his lap. He wished Sam could be next to him to ease his nerves at least a little bit. This was the moment he had been dreading. Hash could have it all. She could have the house, she could take his money, she could have his car, she could have the very clothes from his back, but she could not have Lily. He watched Judge Jersey read over the paper. He didn't know if he wanted him to hurry up or if he wanted him to take his time. He really wanted to hear the results but he didn't want to hear bad news. His fingertips started hurting so he released his hands. This was like a pulling a band-aid, he decided. He just had to pull it real fast, no matter how bad it hurt.
"Well, Mr. Wentz," Jersey said, "it says here that you are the biological father of little Lily."
Sam heard Peter hit his foot on the table.
"Ha! Knew it! I told you never to doubt me, Peter!" she cheered as he breathed a sigh of relief.
Jerry slammed his gavel down three times, "Order." he warned.
"Whoops." Sam said.
D.C. stood up, "Your honor, I propose that we rectify a piece in the pre-nup."
"What piece would that be?" Jersey asked.
"Well, Mr. Wentz agreed to give my client his house in the event of a divorce." D.C. said.
"And the problem is?" Jersey turned to Peter, "Mr. Wentz?"
"Well, during her absence, I lost the house." Peter answered.
"Absence?" Jersey turned to D.C.
"My client has recently awakened from a two year coma. When she awoke, she instantly wanted a divorce from Wentz." D.C. said.
"Well, don't put it that way, that's hurtful." Sam said.
"Hang on, hang on." Jersey said raising up his hand. He looked at Hash, "You were in a coma?"
"Yes." Hash said, "I was in a car crash."
"How old was your daughter when it happened?" Jersey asked.
"Two." Peter answered.
"And you woke up and wanted a divorce?" Jersey asked.
"Yes." Hash nodded curtly.
"Well," Jersey said, "suddenly my court room is an epsiode of 'Days of Our Lives'."
"Ha!" Sam laughed.
"I demand that my client get Wentz's current home." D.C. said.
"My apartment?!" Peter cried.
"Don't worry, Peter. If she takes your home, you can live in the house I have outside the city!" Sam quickly said.
"Ew, wait, I don't want his crappy apartment." Hash said, "But I do want something equally as important as a house."
"Depending on who wins today, one of you will be paying child support." Jersey said.
What?" Peter and Hash cried.
"Either way, Mr. Wentz will be paying alimony." Jersey said.
Peter let out an indignant shriek while Hash said, "Yes!"
"But, your honor, my client would like full custody of his daughter." Hurley said standing up.
"Well, then, I suggest we start talking to a few people." Jersey said placing his hands together.
A few minutes passed as each party prepared themselves. Mike would be going up to the podium to be interrogated about Hash.
Sam leaned forward, "Psst, Hurley!"
"What?" Hurley asked turning to her.
"This man seems rather bored." Sam said glancing at Jersey.
"He's been in the business a long time." Hurley said, "But Hash's story seemed to interest him. You can expect this trial to be....out of the ordinary."
"Tubular." Sam said.
Mike stood in the front of the room with the security, who was holding a bible.
"Do you swear the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?" the security asked when Mike had placed his hand on the book.
"Yes." Mike smiled.
"Take a seat." the security said.
Mike did as he was told as D.C. stood up.
"Mike," D.C. began, "how would you describe my client?"
"Hot." Mike said.
Everyone in the court room laughed, Sam was the loudest. Hash stared at him horrified while D.C. looked annoyed.
"Oh, do you mean in bed?" Mike asked.
Peter and Sam turned to Lily, "Lily, earmuffs!" they yelled simultaneously, while in the back, William could be heard saying, "What a jackass!"
"How else would you describe her?" D.C. asked in a hard voice.
"Petite," Mike said, "And sexually curious--"
"I mean," D.C. interrupted, "how does she act around Lily?"
"No different than she would act around me." Mike said.
Hash hid her face, D.C.'s eye twitched and Sam muffled her laughter with both hands.
"I mean, how is she as a mother?" D.C. asked frustrated.
"And remember you're under oath." Jersey reminided.
Sam giggled at the last words.
"Eh, she's so-so." Mike said.
"Mike!" Hash cried.
"Well, what, babe? You don't wash anything, you don't work and your cooking's terrible!" Mike shrugged.
"Tell me about it." Peter murmured.
"Okay, what would you say you are Hash's best traits?" D.C. asked trying a different approach.
"Her legs--No, no, no, her ass--No, no, no," he paused to think, then nodded, "Yeah, her ass."
"No further questions!" D.C. said throwing his hands up. He returned to his seat where Hash was slumped over the desk, her face hidden.
"Would the defense like to ask questions?" Jersey asked.
"Yes, your honor." Hurley answered. He attempted to get up but Peter pulled him back down.
"That went well for us, right?" Peter asked.
"It went okay but don't get comfortable. People tend to be more sympathetic towards the women because they're more maternal." Hurley said.
"Well, keep this streak going with Mike. He's an idiot, play to his stengths." Peter advised.
"What are his strengths?" Hurley asked.
"Being an idiot. It won't be hard to get him to say what you want." Peter said.
Hurley nodded and stood up.
He walked a few steps toward Mike, "Mike, how would you describe my client?" he gestured at Peter.
"Awesome." Mike said raising two thumbs up, "He's kind of an idiot, though."
"Hey!" Peter cried.
Hurley raised a hand to silence Pete, "So, Mike, have you ever seen my client care for Lily?"
"Don't call him your client, he has a name and he's right freakin' here!" Sam hissed.
Hurley raised his hand again.
"No." Mike said, "I'm sure he's great."
"And how is Hash with Lily?"
"Hash is hardly with Lily, I'm the one that spends most time with her." Mike answered.
"Was there a possibility that Lily could've been yours?" Hurley asked.
"Objection!" D.C. cried standing up, "This is irrelevant to the case of whether my client can have sole custody of her child."
"Sustained." Jersey said, "You better be going somewhere with this, Hurley."
"I am, your honor." he turned to Mike, "Answer the question, please."
"Yeah, she could've been mine." Mike said.
"Were you prepared to care for her?" Hurley asked.
"Yeah, I've got my fair share of money." Mike said slumping back in his seat.
"So, if there was a possibility of her being yours, that would mean that you were involved with Hash while she was married."
"Objection! He'd leading the witness." D.C. said standing up again.
"Hurley--" Jersey warned.
"Sorry, Mike were you involved with Hash while she was married?"
"Yes." Mike said.
Jersey raised his eyebrows in astonishment.
"Did you approach her or did she?" Hurley asked.
"She approached me." Mike said.
"So, let me get this straight," Jersey interrupted, "Before the coma, Hash cheated on Wentz and then woke up and dumped her husband for you?"
"Right on, brother." Mike flashed him a shot gun.
"So, what are you to Hash?" Hurley asked.
"Her pimp." Mike said.
Sam burst out laughing.
"No further questions, your honor." Hurley turned and headed to his seat.
"What is going on in my court room?" Jersey asked, "Mike, you're dismissed."
"Righteous, man." Mike slipped out of the witness stand, winked at Sam as he passed and returned to his seat.
"I'd like to call Hash to the stand." D.C. said.
Hash was quickly sworn in and sat at the witness stand.
"Hash, although you've had a short time with Lily due to your unfortunate accident, would you call yourself a good mother?" D.C. asked.
"Yes, definetely." Hash said.
"Remember that you're under oath!" Sam called and then she giggled at the last words.
"Quiet, missy, I've got a day time drama here." Jersey said.
"What about Peter? Was he a good father?" D.C. asked.
"Yes, he was all right." Hash said.
"May I ask why you filed for divorce?"
"Irreconcilable differences. I'm fun and he's not."
"Objection! May that last remark be stricken from the record." Sam cried.
"Order!" Jersey cried slamming down his gavel, "Proceed." he said to D.C.
"How was Peter as a husband?"
"Lousy." Hash answered.
"Why do you think she should be the sole parent?"
"Peter's had enough time with Lily, it's my turn."
"Do you love your daughter?"
"With all my heart." Hash said innocently.
"No more questions." D.C. said.
Hurley stood up, "I'm all over this one." he murmured.
Pete and Sam began to see Hurley's confidence rise. They now saw why Hurley was one of the best lawyers out there.
"She's in it for now." Sam said leaning forward with anticipation.