The Wild Ride

"Shit! This is the fourth one Daisy, and they all say the same!" I gave a loud whisper.
"Maybe you should try another, just to be sure?!" Daisy replied, concerned as she'd ever been.
"Four just says it all Dais! What am I gunna' do?!" I put my face in my hands.

It's Christmas Eve and I've possibly just found out the worst news. The kind of news that could either end my happiness, or excel it. Either way, this is not the kind of news I want to find out the day before Christmas. This is a time of celebration and happiness and I'm scared that this is the end of it. I've fucked up, big time and I don't know how I'm going to break the news to Zacky.

I opened the door and walked out slowly. Put what was in my hands in the bin, walked over to the sink and splashed my face with cold water. I dabbed it dry with a soft towel, then turned to Daisy who looked just as devastated as I was. She didn't have to say anything, she just pulled me into one of her hugs, which make it feel as if everything is okay and nothing can go wrong; even though it just did, horribly wrong. She pulled away, placed her hands on my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes. You could tell by the concerned look burrowed in her eyes that she knew exactly how I was feeling, without being the one to have to go through what I was about to.

"I know that right now it seems that nothing could go right, and we both know that we definitely can't make this go away very easily. But let me tell you something I do know.. I know that this will be one hell of a bumpy ride, but you're not on your own; you'll have me supporting you every step of the way, whether Zacky decides to support you or not is a different story and he'd be daft not to. But I'm your best friend, I'm all you need to get through this if all else fails. Look at me.." She tilted my head up to look her directly in the eyes. "..You're going to tell Zacky tomorrow discreetly so nobody else can hear, see how he feels about the situation and where you now stand with him, if he's as decent a guy as we think he is; his heart will tell him what to do. Are you with me on this Adrienne?" Even though she's 8 months younger than me, she could still pull off the role of a mother. If anything, she'd be the perfect person to be in MY situation, without that sounding harshly unfair of course.

I didn't have to say anything for her to know that I understood, I just looked at her blankly before giving a faint nod to her instructions.

"Good girl, now we're going to go downstairs and act like nothing is wrong. We've not got much of this day left to get through. Put on your brave face lovely, and just try your best." She smiled at me, took my hand and lead me downstairs. We stopped outside of the living room door, I tidied myself up, took a deep breath and walked into the room; with the fakest smile I've ever had.

Zacky and Brian were arranging the handful of presents under the Christmas tree, whilst Matt and Johnny were having a '1 v 1' on Call of Duty. Jimmy just stood behind them watching in awe, not allowed to touch the xbox incase he breaks it. I walked over to Jimmy, he smiled at me and asked me if I was okay. "I'm fine Jimbo, you want a drink?" I offered, he held up 2 cans to signify that he didn't need another drink. I smiled, nodded lightly and walked over to sit by Zacky. I slumped down on the floor and rested my head on his shoulder. I tried hard not to cry and found the strength in me not to. Zacky stroked my head.

"Where've you been?" He smiled.
"Upstairs, I don't feel to good." I lied, slightly.
"What's wrong?" His smile turned into a look of concern.
"It's nothing really, I'll be fine." I flashed him a re-assuring smile and kissed him on the cheek.

I sat there, a jumble of words just flying around in my head, trying to piece together the right ones to use in order to tell him. I couldn't tell him now, I ought to stick to Daisy's instructions, she knows what she's talking about. The two words I thought I'd never hear for at least another 10 years of my life were just repeating on my brain, over and over again. The more I thought about it, the more I felt sick. It wasn't exactly the news that was getting me down, or the shock. It was what I'd expect from Zacky, and where I would stand with him after he'd found out. I shook the thoughts from my head before I'd have to sprint to the bathroom. Instead, I got up and slowly walked into the kitchen to get myself a cold glass of water.

Matt came dancing into the kitchen a few moments later, humming and clicking his fingers. He'd clearly wiped Johnny's ass again on the xbox. I kept my head down, looking into the plughole of the sink. I heard the fridge open and the clanking of bottles come out of it. Matt came over to me and gave me a slight nudge. I didn't respond. He placed the bottles down on the work surface and got me to face him.

"You okay?" He asked.
"Fine." I responded bluntly.
"I'm not taking that as an answer Adie, I know when something is up." He said.

I looked up at him, to see his friendly, concerned face looking back at me. He was smiling slightly, which gave me a heart-warming feeling that I could confide in him. I tried so hard trying to tell myself not to. But my heart was telling me that I ought to confide in someone. The news was eating away at me and I don't know how much longer I could take it. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant." I whispered.

Matt looked taken a-back and it took a few seconds before it registered what I had said.

"You're pregnant?!" He whispered back, so nobody else could hear.
"Yes." I said, hanging my head.

He pulled me into a tight hug and stroked my head.

"Oh Adie." His words were full of concern and support. "I understand that Zacky isn't aware of this?" He asked.
"No, I just don't know how to tell him. I know he'll completely reject me and I don't want that to happen." I sulked into his torso.
"Look, I've known Zacky for a hell of a lot of years now and if there's one thing I can tell you is that he's a hell of a guy, so caring and so supportive. Not to mention that he's deeply in love with you. He really ought to know Adie, after all he's going to be the father of your baby. He's got a decent head on those shoulders darl, he'll understand." Having Matt assure me made it feel a little less daunting. I needed to tell Zacky, sooner rather than later.