Status: Hiatus. I just don't have any drive to finish this sucker. Sorry guys.
Rich Man
Out of Time
"I called my father while I was putting that file together for you...He sent me some information on a thesis she had been deriving at the time... Winrey wasn't actually treating you guys as a mock assignment.... You were test subjects to her in the end. She was studying the arts of manipulation, writing notes on a thesis and several theories on how to control several different human natures and complexities..."
"She just came here so she could play God," he stated coldly now, pivoted, and punched the mattress as hard as he could. "Fuck," he cursed low, "FUCK. Why didn't any of us see it?! We fucking let it happen TWICE!"
"I refuse to play the same god that she did," I snapped back immediately. "I may have manipulated each of you, but for Christ's sake, Bergeron, do not insult me by placing me in the same class as that deceitful bitch. And pay attention!" Breathing hard, I forced myself on. "I came here because of a call from a scared girl offering work. She gave me false information to start because she was too embarrassed to just spit it out.
"Lex is in love with Blake, who's been casually banging Tera since about three weeks before I first showed up. That's say.... a hundred and seventy-some days. The reason you all hate Tera so much, which at first was beyond me, was because all of you knew she was a liar and shady as hell, but no one really had the balls to admit it. You guys were so confused as to what happened that everyone just ran from the problem like she ran from all of you.
"In that journal I recorded every detail of everything I was thinking and planning while I've been here. My goal, unlike Winrey's, from the start and now stronger to the finish, is to make all of you strong enough to withstand even the most devastating of blows to your friendship. It takes pain and hardship to make humans evolve. I just learned over time how to force that."
"You made Milan develop feelings for you... Just so you could unite him against you... With me," he whispered moments into my silence, suddenly formulating the very epiphany I was waiting on. "A-And you kept setting up Matt and Avery and creating situations even on game nights.... Where they had enough alone time to finally get together. And... And you figured out the truth behind Lex's feelings for Blake... And you tried to save him from himself, for Lex.... And... For the sake of all of us..."
"But now that I've, like I told you, met Winrey face to face, all of this could go out the window. Do you understand what's at stake here?"
Like some kind of zombie, jaw refusing to close, the boy slowly, disbelievingly relayed his words to me. It was careful and yet so accurate, so pointed, that I had a hard time stomaching his clear disgust with what I had done. I was the very false god that he hated, that had controlled him, that shaped him. And he knew it. "If Winrey unmasks you.... Lex will be found out as the person who hired you.... She'll get her heart broken because Blake will figure out that she didn't just destroy his trust, she actually hired someone to fix it, to change everyone. Milan will realize you were just messing with his head and he'll revert back to being the same arrogant narcissist of a sonofabitch he was after he and Kelsey were finished. Matt and Avery might survive this, but I don't see them staying together without the common group that got them together in the first place..."
"Everyone will realize that they had been deceived so easily... And they will harden and not trust and not be able to meet a single person without wondering if they are who they say they are... And they will be paranoid and furious and torn apart from what was once a family," I completed for him. "And you."
"And me?" he snapped. I had hit a chord, simply by acknowledging him. But that was the button I needed to press, the dam that needed to be broken. "What about me, Amanda?" The emphasis he placed on my name was elongated and cold, bitter, harsh.
I winced.
"What did you do to me? Shape me to be like-like a soldier for you or something?" He shook his head, running worried hands through his hair. The boy couldn't even look at me. "I don't.... I don't even know how the fuck I'm supposed to take hearing this... You changed me. I don't know if that's good or if that's bad or even WHY. Or what I'm supposed to DO with my knowledge now."
"You help me," I whispered.
"What?" he almost shouted.
My eyes rose to lock onto his. He stared at me with an arid fury very similar to the spite of Winrey, but there was deep hurt behind that gaze. It was no glare, but a shield cover the pain he was feeling. "Of everyone here... I instilled in you dangerous knowledge, you know that right?"
His stare seemed to soften with every perplexity I was relaying.
"I stopped thinking... Because of you," I paused for a long while, finding the words hard to form in my throat, "You may not ever trust me again, but that's okay. I deserve it. Because of you, I stopped using my brain, stopped relying on hard facts and logic. And I started trusting my gut.
"And it got dangerous for me because... I got closer to you than I've ever gotten close with anyone... I told you things that were the complete and utter truth. Had you heard everything I've told you after tonight.... It would have entirely new meaning. The point is.... I never lied to you, never really manipulated. I just taught you things, taught you different modes of accessing thought and taught you the same philosophy that shaped all that I am. I never, from the moment I first saw you smirking at me from the couch on day one, lied to you. And I'm begging you now, before it's too late here to fix, please Patrice, use the knowledge you've attained through me.
"And help me."
Patrice said nothing. He licked his lips, biting the bottom fold and watching my plea with solemn eyes. "Why me?" he suddenly asked. "Why not anyone else? Why did you have to do this to me?"
"Face the facts. I won't take the fall for you. I didn't make you the way you are right now. I didn't manipulate you. You changed. You made yourself the way you are. I didn't make your choices for you. You did." His jaw slackened, fist falling hard against and bounding off of the mattress at his back as I continued, "I taught you what I knew because you wanted answers. Aside from that, I figured that you already knew there was something wrong with me. Don't play the goddamn fool. I may not have shaped you, but I sure as hell have read you this whole time."
"I'm sure you did."
"You're smart," I countered, turning my back to him for the first time, "You only got involved with me, got physical and interested because I made the first move. You knew I was just getting information out of you, so you played along."
He paused apprehensively, lips in a long, thin line as he made it apparent that I had the nail directly pinned on the head. There was no getting out of this. "Only because I wanted to use the information you got out of me to figure out what you wanted."
"Happy you know the truth?"
"Disgusted." I froze with his words. "But you weren't doing this to ruin anyone," he started again, slower this time, regaining breath, monitoring himself, trying to maintain a sense of rationality. "Everyone loves you. And you've done nothing but brought everyone closer."
"That was the plan."
"Now the plan's changed. Guess you might not get that paycheck after all."
I breathed for a long time before swallowing hard and blurting, "I need you."
"I know."
I turned around, watching Bergeron hesitantly. "And the plan never changed. The paycheck, though... The contract got terminated during the roadtrip, when I found out Lex's real feelings. I'm not going to cost her thousands of dollars on top of worrying about the man she cares deeply for."
"Like you have any right to talk about love."
"You're right," I replied matter-of-factly. "Never truly felt it, but I'm not going to stand in the way of someone else feeling something quite like that."
Patrice maintained a stare at e now that read nothing more than contemplation. I was done reading him, done trying to get into his head. He was transforming right in front of me, becoming more than just a specimen. I didn't have the heart to examine another glance, another expression. I had lost my nerve.
"I'll help," he stated, "On the condition that when this is all said and done, you disappear."
My jaw tightened. I nodded without thinking, without waiting to listen to another word when I probably should have. But that didn't matter anymore. I could worry later. For now, I had the options, the friend, and the time that I needed to fix this.
"And you don't come back."
"She just came here so she could play God," he stated coldly now, pivoted, and punched the mattress as hard as he could. "Fuck," he cursed low, "FUCK. Why didn't any of us see it?! We fucking let it happen TWICE!"
"I refuse to play the same god that she did," I snapped back immediately. "I may have manipulated each of you, but for Christ's sake, Bergeron, do not insult me by placing me in the same class as that deceitful bitch. And pay attention!" Breathing hard, I forced myself on. "I came here because of a call from a scared girl offering work. She gave me false information to start because she was too embarrassed to just spit it out.
"Lex is in love with Blake, who's been casually banging Tera since about three weeks before I first showed up. That's say.... a hundred and seventy-some days. The reason you all hate Tera so much, which at first was beyond me, was because all of you knew she was a liar and shady as hell, but no one really had the balls to admit it. You guys were so confused as to what happened that everyone just ran from the problem like she ran from all of you.
"In that journal I recorded every detail of everything I was thinking and planning while I've been here. My goal, unlike Winrey's, from the start and now stronger to the finish, is to make all of you strong enough to withstand even the most devastating of blows to your friendship. It takes pain and hardship to make humans evolve. I just learned over time how to force that."
"You made Milan develop feelings for you... Just so you could unite him against you... With me," he whispered moments into my silence, suddenly formulating the very epiphany I was waiting on. "A-And you kept setting up Matt and Avery and creating situations even on game nights.... Where they had enough alone time to finally get together. And... And you figured out the truth behind Lex's feelings for Blake... And you tried to save him from himself, for Lex.... And... For the sake of all of us..."
"But now that I've, like I told you, met Winrey face to face, all of this could go out the window. Do you understand what's at stake here?"
Like some kind of zombie, jaw refusing to close, the boy slowly, disbelievingly relayed his words to me. It was careful and yet so accurate, so pointed, that I had a hard time stomaching his clear disgust with what I had done. I was the very false god that he hated, that had controlled him, that shaped him. And he knew it. "If Winrey unmasks you.... Lex will be found out as the person who hired you.... She'll get her heart broken because Blake will figure out that she didn't just destroy his trust, she actually hired someone to fix it, to change everyone. Milan will realize you were just messing with his head and he'll revert back to being the same arrogant narcissist of a sonofabitch he was after he and Kelsey were finished. Matt and Avery might survive this, but I don't see them staying together without the common group that got them together in the first place..."
"Everyone will realize that they had been deceived so easily... And they will harden and not trust and not be able to meet a single person without wondering if they are who they say they are... And they will be paranoid and furious and torn apart from what was once a family," I completed for him. "And you."
"And me?" he snapped. I had hit a chord, simply by acknowledging him. But that was the button I needed to press, the dam that needed to be broken. "What about me, Amanda?" The emphasis he placed on my name was elongated and cold, bitter, harsh.
I winced.
"What did you do to me? Shape me to be like-like a soldier for you or something?" He shook his head, running worried hands through his hair. The boy couldn't even look at me. "I don't.... I don't even know how the fuck I'm supposed to take hearing this... You changed me. I don't know if that's good or if that's bad or even WHY. Or what I'm supposed to DO with my knowledge now."
"You help me," I whispered.
"What?" he almost shouted.
My eyes rose to lock onto his. He stared at me with an arid fury very similar to the spite of Winrey, but there was deep hurt behind that gaze. It was no glare, but a shield cover the pain he was feeling. "Of everyone here... I instilled in you dangerous knowledge, you know that right?"
His stare seemed to soften with every perplexity I was relaying.
"I stopped thinking... Because of you," I paused for a long while, finding the words hard to form in my throat, "You may not ever trust me again, but that's okay. I deserve it. Because of you, I stopped using my brain, stopped relying on hard facts and logic. And I started trusting my gut.
"And it got dangerous for me because... I got closer to you than I've ever gotten close with anyone... I told you things that were the complete and utter truth. Had you heard everything I've told you after tonight.... It would have entirely new meaning. The point is.... I never lied to you, never really manipulated. I just taught you things, taught you different modes of accessing thought and taught you the same philosophy that shaped all that I am. I never, from the moment I first saw you smirking at me from the couch on day one, lied to you. And I'm begging you now, before it's too late here to fix, please Patrice, use the knowledge you've attained through me.
"And help me."
Patrice said nothing. He licked his lips, biting the bottom fold and watching my plea with solemn eyes. "Why me?" he suddenly asked. "Why not anyone else? Why did you have to do this to me?"
"Face the facts. I won't take the fall for you. I didn't make you the way you are right now. I didn't manipulate you. You changed. You made yourself the way you are. I didn't make your choices for you. You did." His jaw slackened, fist falling hard against and bounding off of the mattress at his back as I continued, "I taught you what I knew because you wanted answers. Aside from that, I figured that you already knew there was something wrong with me. Don't play the goddamn fool. I may not have shaped you, but I sure as hell have read you this whole time."
"I'm sure you did."
"You're smart," I countered, turning my back to him for the first time, "You only got involved with me, got physical and interested because I made the first move. You knew I was just getting information out of you, so you played along."
He paused apprehensively, lips in a long, thin line as he made it apparent that I had the nail directly pinned on the head. There was no getting out of this. "Only because I wanted to use the information you got out of me to figure out what you wanted."
"Happy you know the truth?"
"Disgusted." I froze with his words. "But you weren't doing this to ruin anyone," he started again, slower this time, regaining breath, monitoring himself, trying to maintain a sense of rationality. "Everyone loves you. And you've done nothing but brought everyone closer."
"That was the plan."
"Now the plan's changed. Guess you might not get that paycheck after all."
I breathed for a long time before swallowing hard and blurting, "I need you."
"I know."
I turned around, watching Bergeron hesitantly. "And the plan never changed. The paycheck, though... The contract got terminated during the roadtrip, when I found out Lex's real feelings. I'm not going to cost her thousands of dollars on top of worrying about the man she cares deeply for."
"Like you have any right to talk about love."
"You're right," I replied matter-of-factly. "Never truly felt it, but I'm not going to stand in the way of someone else feeling something quite like that."
Patrice maintained a stare at e now that read nothing more than contemplation. I was done reading him, done trying to get into his head. He was transforming right in front of me, becoming more than just a specimen. I didn't have the heart to examine another glance, another expression. I had lost my nerve.
"I'll help," he stated, "On the condition that when this is all said and done, you disappear."
My jaw tightened. I nodded without thinking, without waiting to listen to another word when I probably should have. But that didn't matter anymore. I could worry later. For now, I had the options, the friend, and the time that I needed to fix this.
"And you don't come back."
♠ ♠ ♠
So at this point, it would be really helpful and awesome to know how you're feeling about the characters, their situations, and whatever maybe confuses you or makes you nervous.Comment?