Jasey Rae

Alex’s fingers delicately scarred the sand on the other side of the girl he rested his forearm against. She watched as his chocolate brown eyes twinkled from the sparkling of the setting sun, focussing intently on the rough tips grazing patterns between the grains. The muscles of his arm ached as he leaned his cheek upon his hand, propping himself up on his side, but the aching was far towards the back of his mind as he concentrated himself. Neither of them cared for the inky blue colours rolling across those of the almost fluorescent pinks surrounding them. Neither of them acknowledged so much as the sound of the waves crashing against the damp sand. The water rippled towards them, silently pleading as it clung to the surface whilst the tide pulled it away.

Whereas Alex focused purely on the unknown picture he illustrated Jasey set her grey eyes upon his face. She watched as his face distorted when he made a mistake. She would feel his elbow accidentally press down lightly on his abdomen as he brushed the sand over to cover his evidence. Her moist pink lips were parted as she shamelessly memorised his every move. As he connected the starting and finishing points he smiled triumphantly to himself. He admired his work for a brief moment before glancing in Jasey’s direction. Her lips were still detached as she let the corners tug up slightly. She took the hand resting in the center of her chest and brought it past his arm as she ran her slender fingers through his thick mahogany locks. His lips peeled back as he slowly broke out into a grin. He leaned forwards, bringing their faces close enough to touch. Their noses brushed, Alex kept the permanent smile that hung on his face and closed his eyes; she mirrored his actions.

Jasey arched her neck slightly, bringing them even closer. His personal scent lingered around her nostrils, as hers did to his. She slowly breathed in the scent, savouring it. The heat from his skin pressed against hers. She welcomed the feeling, curling her fingers around his hair, tugging lightly at the roots in a bid to keep him closer. After a moment that didn’t seem long enough to Jasey he took in a long breath, letting the cool air brush over the surface of her cheek before pulling himself away and reopening the seals of his eyes. Her fingers went limp as he sat himself up, his body still turned towards her. He sent her a reassuring smile in fear she may have taken his actions as a sign of rejection. She folded her elbows, allowing herself up at an angle. Alex glanced back towards his artistry. Her subconscious actions caused her to do the same. A small, almost inaudible gasp escaped her lips as her eyes focused on the picture. Alex turned back to the girl; smirking a little as he took in her expression. She pushed herself forwards whilst Alex took the jacket slumped over his shoulders and rested it next to him on the ground.

Alex took to his feet as she admired the sand. Two people posed in the ground beneath her. Their story was unwritten yet clear to Jasey. The couple were dancing; the details, everything about them, everything was so intricate it had her captivated. Alex noticed and bent down, delicately resting his palm to the cheek furthest from where he was stood. Jasey’s eyes involuntarily withdrew from the sand and caught Alex’s. He removed his hand, holding it out to her. She stared down at it, gently placing her hand in his palm before he tugged her up into his grasp. He grinned down at her before lacing his fingers with hers. Alex’s eyes stayed glued to the sand as it attempted to swallow his bare feet, leaving foot prints where he’d stepped. Jasey glanced up to the sky she’d so easily ignored and admired the moon hiding in the shadows of the distance.

Alex lifted his eyes. Without a second glance he pelted towards the ocean. Jasey yelped, caught off guard and stumbling forwards as Alex kept his fingers encased around hers. He wouldn’t slow to allow her to regain her composure, only kept on going as fast as his long legs would carry him. She fought to catch up but with his aid she bounded across the ground, leaving ditches where they had landed as they raced to the water. Alex dropped her hand, launching himself forward into the water until it covered just below his hips. The pair chuckled and Jasey took cautious steps towards the water. Her toes were barely covered by the cool liquid when Alex pushed his arms forcefully towards her. The cold droplets hit her hard causing her to let out a piercing scream.

“Alex!” She whined curling up her body from the temperature as Alex threw his head back in laughter. She waded into the water; it didn’t seem as cool as if had a mere moment ago. The two kicked and threw the water at each other, playing for a few minutes until their laughter began to cease from the lack of breaths. The two panted helplessly, smiling at each other as they let their shoulders slouch. Both took steps forward, closer into one another’s welcoming embrace. Their smiles slowly faded with each inch they grew closer. Alex’s arms naturally curled around her waist like they had done almost every day for a while now. He kept his grasp on her tight as she brought her hands up into loose fists and leaned them against his bare chest. She felt safe in his embrace, letting her eyes flutter shut as he angled his face, letting his lips catch hers in a gentle kiss. Both tasted the salt water that had started to settle on their lips and crack the smooth surface. The kiss stayed gentle, neither of them feeling the need to morph the innocent affection into anything more than it was.

When the two pulled away Jasey simply looked up to Alex. He was grinning down at her. His head remained tilted causing his damp bangs to hang to once side of his face; even though his eyes were curtained from the sun that had almost completely disappeared, his eyes still sparkled in the glistening water tangling by their knees. At that point she couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful. She was lost in the beauty the mere boy before her held and it made her melt just to be within his presence.

“Alex,” she almost whispered making sure not to break eye contact with him.

“Yes?” He asked, curious as to what she wanted to tell him. She could feel her heart racing a mile a minute but nothing could feel more perfect for her. She trusted Alex with every last part of her no matter how small. Over the few months they had been paired together she could feel herself changing. She wasn’t the same person she had been; she had never fallen so hard and from what had seemed such a great height. Even at that very moment she could feel her heart fluttering despite her nerves.

“I love you,” she smiled. Alex could feel something in his chest sinking. As Jasey kept staring at him with the same overwhelmingly content look on her face he could only feel disappointment towards himself. Alex thought about what he had been told about love, how you saw the person differently from all the rest, how you couldn’t picture yourself with anyone apart from them. His grin slowly faded as her words began to register in his mind. It was only now Alex could see how she truly looked towards him with admiration. How she would change whenever she were around him. She meant it.

Jasey noticed as Alex’s face dropped. The first thing to flash through her mind was confusion; maybe he hadn’t heard her clearly? She continued to look him square in the eyes for any hint of denial but alas there was none present. The nerves returned to her system, harder and faster, flooding her veins as her heart banging against her ribcage. Her intense gaze became too much for him, the worry in her eyes overpowered him. His eyes fluttered down from hers to a spot next to the pair in the ocean. His grip around her waist began to loosen and she could feel him slipping away. His arms went limp, there was nothing keeping them together anymore.

Jasey’s eyes travelled over Alex’s body frantically. Despite her overwhelming fear of losing everything she had dreamed of she watched it stand before her in the form of an Adonis. His head was turned from her, his expression blank as he stared into infinity. His body was slouched, his arms hanging loosely by his sides. His hair dangling in front of his eyes in wet strands yet he remained perfectly still, almost as if he in fact were a statue. Jasey stood in her place, her mind screaming to her to fix the situation but she remained speechless. Everything had seemed so perfectly brilliant in her eyes, the setting, the mood between them, everything. She was sure she could see the same sparks in Alex’s eyes as she did in her brain but clearly she had mistaken them for cheap imitations. Nothing seemed to make sense.

The only things travelling through Alex’s brain were thoughts of stupidity, how could he have not seen the signs sooner? He felt nothing but guilt. All the tiny gestures she had made towards him now seemed to add up. She understood what love was, Alex didn’t. Alex liked Jasey, very much so. But Jasey wasn’t the girl he knew he would eventually ask to marry him. He enjoyed her company very much, treated her well and never caused her any harm but she wasn’t the one.

“Alex?” She asked again, her voice breaking as she choked back her fears. He remained motionless, not feeling the need to answer. “Alex is something wrong?” She asked in denial of the whole situation. Although a voice screamed to her how stupid she had been she wasn’t willing to accept any form of rejection until Alex voiced it. Both knew Alex hadn’t expected the words to leak from her mouth like vomit. Was it possible to fall in love after such little time? Alex looked up towards the girl, as if he had instantly transformed he looked like a tired man. He looked aged, withered, beaten. Their eyes met.

“I’m sorry,” he almost mouthed to the girl as he shook his head lightly from side to side.

“I don’t understand,” she confessed distorting her eyebrows in confusion. Alex sighed inwardly, momentarily shutting his eyes, he couldn’t look at her.

“I don’t want you to love me,” he mumbled in reply. Jasey didn’t understand, she tried to open her mouth to respond but nothing was making sense. She couldn’t comprehend how such a perfect situation had turned into her worst nightmare as a navy blue blanket enveloped them. “I’m sorry,” he repeated in a whisper so low it seemed more to himself than her. “Jasey, I don’t want to hurt you,” he added slightly louder. “You’re a wonderful girl. I truly care about you,” he began reopening his eyes to have them fix on her. The chemistry that had been so prominent in the kiss they had shared before the sun had grown so far away was now so much fainter in his eyes. The last of the flame flickering behind his pupils was struggling to survive and she knew she had made such a huge mistake; she had ruined the relationship she could see lasting forever. She was clinging to the last strand over rope leaving her hanging in the air, praying she wouldn’t be let down, but a single strand couldn’t support her alone. “But I don’t love you.”

At that moment everything stopped around her. The waves stayed still, almost as if nature wanted to leave her alone. Alex looked before him with guilty eyes at the girl before him. Her eyes were blank. She was staring past him as opposed to at him. He could almost hear the sound of her heart shattering. She dropped her eyes to the water settled around her knees as if she were hanging her head in shame. She turned without another word back in the direction of where they had been lay. She dragged herself back to the spot where they had lain. The outline of both their bodies was still a faint imprint in the soft grains as she passed. She picked her jacket from where it sat a small distance from Alex’s, pulling it carefully over her shoulders as if she could damage herself before walking away from the scene.

Alex watched her from the shore the whole time until she disappeared from sight. He pulled his own feet ahead of him allowing him motion towards the spot. As he approached all the small details became clearer. Her footprints were slightly twisted in the damp area; he let his eyes glance over each one as they got further away until they were too far away to see. He turned his eyes back in front of him and came to a halt in front of his jacket. He leaned down, picking it up by the hood and folding it in half over his forearm. His eyes wandered over every small part of the surrounding space. Their outline had almost completely disappeared as the cool breeze ran over the beach and swept up small grains of the sand. There was next to no evidence left of the two people occupying the area as the night’s wind picked up. Eventually his eyes landed on the picture he had drawn. The beautiful image had morphed into something he almost didn’t recognise. The two dancers were swept away from each other, one almost completely vanished. He sighed to himself and turned away, following the footsteps that she had left him with as he hung his head and followed the path. Nothing seems to last forever.