Lights.

I don't know why I let myself be dragged to the social in the first place. I really don't.

I turned up thinking that maybe it'd be alright. Maybe nothing would go wrong. That maybe I could just sit there and hide behind my sunglasses even though it was dark.

It's just... what I hoped for.

I hoped she wouldn't be there, that maybe she'd get called in to work or something. I just wanted some... time. With Emil. Alone. Without her.

And that never happens anymore.

They sat on the stairs to the stage in the gymnasium, and at first I was too caught up being dragged around the place by Andreas to really... give a shit.

But it never lasts.

I was fucking around with Andreas, Jonas, and this bunch of girls we vaguely knew from around when I kind of... saw them.

It was a fucking Nirvana song, and they were almost slow-dancing.

I guess that was when it kind of hit me properly.

Time went on, songs started and ended and most of them were pretty fucking awful. Nonetheless, the two of them still stood there as if they were slow-dancing, close and tight and everything I wanted to be.

Halfway through, we all ended up sitting on the stage stairs. Andreas complained that the last bitch-slap he'd received was starting to bruise, and Jonas was breaking glow-sticks in half and throwing the stuff all over himself, making him look like some sort of clothed stripper. I sat there, quiet, and watched Emil and Ewelina from behind my sunglasses.

I wanted to throw a shoe at them, but I didn't.

Andreas noticed, and pulled me off the stage. The music sucked, the people were even worse, but nonetheless, we acted like a couple of douchebags and danced.

Even with one of my best friends pretending to make moves on me [and actually making moves on every chick that walked past], I still couldn't... let it go.

It wasn't right. We wouldn't fit, Emil and I. It would just be wrong, and it wouldn't work, and for fuck's sake he's straight. And Ewelina's gorgeous. And I'm not. And I'm everything that he doesn't deserve because I'm not good enough.

He sat there with his girlfriend, and I was just a third wheel. Again.

Just a third wheel.

Just Ole.