A Retelling of Events That Never Happened.

Disclaimer: This is not fiction. This is not fan fiction. This is a true story about what goes on in my head, described as such. This is not a story about my daydreams about marrying a rockstar. This is about things that really happen. This is in the correct category.

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Maybe I'll explore my relationship with Ryan. It's a lot different than with Brendon. With Brendon there isn't a relationship yet. I'm still waiting for it to happen.

With Ryan there are fights and make-ups. There is anger and resentment. It's all from my side, of course. I have a relationship with him and he isn't even aware of existence unless it's as the girl who had them sign her journal.

I feel as if I know him, as if I understand parts of him. I feel connected to him. He is a part of me, my twin and my pulse. He doesn't know me and he's one of the most important relationships in my life.

I'll put the pieces here.

Just because.

Unless you know me you probably won't understand this. Unless you read it you probably won't understand why a story where Ryan Ross is clearly a main "character" is in the non-fiction section. But this is a true story. This is a true story about the things that never happened, but they did happen. Somewhere else in some other reality where imaginings blur with truth. This happened somehow, even if I acknowledge that it did not.

...So we grew together
Like to a double cherry, seeming parted,
But yet an union in partition,
Two lovely berries moulded on one stem...
- A Midsummer Night's Dream