A Retelling of Events That Never Happened.

"I learned my lesson. Don't trust people."

"I hate you. I fucking hate you."

"I just want to have a good time, just like everybody else. But I don't want to fall apart."

"I don't know what's going to happen. I just know that something will. That's the nature of the universe."

"I don't want to fall apart this time. I want to be the vindictive bitch that gets it right and kicks you in the balls. I hope I can be."

"I'm not as mad at you now. Maybe. I'm not sure. But I still want to kick you in the balls."

"Poets come to life. But then they break your heart."

"Jokers. Aces. Spades. Clubs. Hearts. Full house. I hope you choke on these poker chips."

"@thisisryanross You are a dumbass. Too bad it can't make me hate you."

"I'm trying to convince myself of horrible things about you so that this mess isn't your fault. You are a mess. I hate you. I love you."

"Don't you know you're breaking my heart? No you don't. & you don't care. Ignorant apathy to my regrettable knowledge in the art of feeling."

"Prick."

"STOP IT."

"You're so . . . infuriating. And a bastard. Btw, I love you."

"Stupid stupid stupid fuckface. You idiot. You stupid idiot. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you."

"Hate it."

"You're a douche bag. Wish you weren't. Love you. Wish i didn't. Sometimes."

"This is really happening. No backspace."

"He's a leech. He leeches onto people and steals their traits and characteristics. I don't know if he even understands himself . . . because he's been playing other people for so long."

"I miss Ryan."

"I haven't been able to finish anything since the split. I fucking hate this. I wish I could slap you. You don't know who you are, but I do."

"I can't write about it. I can't go back in time. I don't know what to write."

"Why do you get to be my mirror but happy? Fuck you."

"Nobody makes me smile the way you do. And nobody makes me cry the way you do either. Bastard. I love you."

"You fucked everything up. And the worst part is you don't even care. So happily ignorant and apathetic. Fuck you."

"I wouldn't give my arm, but probably some toes to be you for a few days or a week. Just to know what it's like to be you. Under your skin."

"You have been my all, my everything. I have never wanted to hurt anyone as much as i want to hurt you."

"I'm imagining it in front of my eyes. A photograph the people disappear from. The other people in the photo look around but can't find you."

"Why did you leave me here alone? When will you be back? Will you answer the letters i send? Will you come to my birthday party? Will you ..."

"I keep seeing his face. In me, behind me, cheek to cheek. Arms tight around my waist. His hair tickling my face as he leans in to speak."

"Bastard."

"Like memories of an ex-lover. Except you're not. You've never technically been anything to me except what I make you up to be. My secret."

"You are a ghost. You're haunting me. Stop breathing down my neck. Don't rush me. I'll get there when i get there. You don't deserve my speed."

"It's the opposite of dreamworld. Its a shadow world. I don't want you staring, walking beside me, whispering. You're already inside me."

"You're a prick in the side. You're a ghost in my sheets. You're a shadow on the floor. If only you knew. You cut me to the bone."

"The truth is you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath I'd slap you so fucking hard."

"Dance around like a dream. Sheets over my head, but i know you're just outside. Breathing waiting staring."

"I live a life of events that never happened. I smell the scent of lovers I never had."