Into Your Arms

Sometimes I really think that I should just give up, but there’s no way I could ever show it. Who was I really kidding? Kennedy had been my life for the past two years, how could I forget that and move on?

As I continued to drive, I began to think about the previous night. Last night by far was the worst night of my entire life, it all started out so… amazing and flawless. But as they say, most good things come to an end at one point or another and I had to be strong, its who I am. I glanced over seeing Tegan change the song.

“Why Too Much?” I asked.

“Sorry, kind of seemed appropriate.” she half-smiled. I sighed and looked back at the winding road.

“So, his friend John seems….nice.” she tried breaking the ice, which to be honest was frozen solid. I glimpsed over to her once more and rolled my eyes smiling.

“I know, I know… you love him.” I giggled. Even though I was focused on the road I could tell she was blushing.

“It’s okay, to like him I mean.” I tried to explain.

“Not when you have a … so called boyfriend.” she slowly turned and looked out the window.

“Tea, you know he doesn’t treat you the way you should be. He’s not good for you.” she turned back to me.

“Do you think that, honestly?”

The truth was Derek was no where near who Tegan should be with, he used her. He didn’t hurt her physically, but emotionally it was definitely a rollercoaster.

“Yes, I really do.” I said pulling back into out dorm parking lot. She looked at me weary and climbed out not saying much.

As we walked do the long corridor of dorms we finally arrived back at ours. It had definitely been one of the longest days ever. As we entered one of our roommates informed us both that Pat and Derek had called. I mean don’t get me wrong, Pat was like my best friend besides Tegan but I’m just not in the mood right now and I’m sure that Derek had nothing great to say anyway. We both got settled back in and changed before discussing it.

“Why don’t you just give Pat a call?” Tegan asked. Well, I wasn’t just going to tell her I wasn’t in the mood. So, I reluctantly picked up my phone and waited on the dial tone.

“Hello?” he answered. I hated to admit it, but every time we talked he made me feel… so important.

“Hey Pat, I uhm… heard you called.”

“Oh yeah. I heard about you and…Kenny.” he sighed, but I could tell he was trying to make it less painful.

“Yeah…we uh… well we weren’t as perfect as I thought.” I was being perfectly honest about my feelings for once in my life.

“Oh, well… I… we still want you to come around… no matter what happened between you and Kennedy.” I knew he was right, I didn’t have to stay away from him just because Mr. Ex-boyfriend and I are over.

“Thanks Pat.“

“You should… come to the small show on Saturday… if you don’t have school… or anything.“ he asked shyly. Should I? Is it too soon for me to face Kennedy? Well I’m going to have to at some point, I cant hide in my dorm room forever.

“Sure… Ill be there.” I promised, hopefully I wouldn’t regret those words later on. Was it like a date? But like Taylor Swift once said, ”There’s nothing stopping me from going out with all of your best friends.” well… at least one anyway.

The only thing that was holding me back was those damn pictures on my wall, I slowly made my way over to my bed and crawled on it to get to the pictures tacked up to my wall. I froze there for what must have been some time when I heard Tegan talking

“El?…earth to Ella…hello?” I quickly shook it off,

“Oh… uhm…”

“You…miss him…don’t you?” she hesitantly asked.

“N-no…why would you say that?” I said taking the first tack out.

“Because Ella! You stared at those pictures for like 20 minutes!” she sounded concerned, but I’m not one to show emotion so she can never really tell what exactly goes on, but this time she was right.

“I… was not.” I cleared my throat trying not to look at the pictures again.

“You could just tell me. Its not like I would go blabbing to him.” I sighed, she was right.

Somebody should know the truth, I guess. I motioned for her to sit and handed her the oldest of the pictures.

“You remember this?” She looked down at the worn picture.

“Two years ago…” she responded. I carefully took it back.

“That night changed both of our lives… the day I met Kennedy and you I believe.” she smiled softly,

“A day I couldn’t forget.” she laughed. It took me back like a whirlwind, I couldn’t deny that was probably the best day of my life. I fell in love and found a new best friend all at the same place.

“I did it again didn’t I?” Once again I had zoned out.

“Yeah, you did but, I think you just need a little time before you’re over all of it.” Tegan stood up. I sighed and put the pictures in my nightstand drawer.

“You want ice cream?” she asked.

I nodded thinking about the past few days and the days to come, how will I be when I face Kennedy? Who knows, I know I sure don’t.