Into Your Arms

That was it, the second I saw John I knew that I had lost Tegan. I wondered why she couldn’t see that he liked her too. I know she hates to hear it but Derek’s no good for her. But, I guess its none of my business.

As soon as John saw her his face lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning, I could tell something would happen. They both have that glow about them… like they’re in love but they wont do anything about it yet.

Breaking me from my train of thought I felt someone tapping on my shoulder, I turned slowly to see a pair of brown eyes staring back at me.

“Hey El.” I watched him speak.

“Hey Pat.” I gleamed. I couldn’t help he gave me that feeling that the hole in my life was gone. I know it sounds ridiculous and I’ve only single technically for almost a week, but hey… its worth a shot right?

“So, I was wondering if… you… would want to come in early?” he asked shyly.

I smiled, early?! No. no. no. Kennedy would be there… I couldn’t face him. Who am I kidding? I’m not ready for this. But being the idiot that I am I nodded in agreement and was lead inside by Pat with John and Tegan following slowly behind.

So far so good, nobody was there except a couple of the other bands merch guys setting up. Pat and John lead Tegan and I backstage while the main doors were opened.

“Why… are we back here?” Tegan asked puzzled, I was just as confused as she was.

“Well, we just figured that you would rather be here than squished in that crowd.” We both smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Thanks you guys.” I beamed.

“No problem.” Pat smiled. Why the smile… oh I cant take it. We all stood and watched the first couple bands, each song Pat got closer and closer. The next thing I knew he was behind me with his arms around my waist, not that I was complaining what so ever.

“I’ve got to go set up.” he leaned up and whispered in my ear, it sent a chill running down spine.

That’s when it happened… the thing that I was scared of all night. Kennedy pushed in between Pat and I, very aggressively I might add.

“What’s your problem?!” Pat said furiously pulling me back to him.

“We’ve got to go…onstage…alone.” Kennedy snapped. He was never like this…not til that night anyway. I don’t know what had gotten into him, he used to be the perfect boyfriend, now… not so much. I listened as they basically yelled back and forth until I heard Kennedy say:

“She still loves me!” That was it I was pissed.

“You know…I really don’t anymore! I cant take you. I’m glad we never got engaged!” I knew that one would cut deep and from what I could tell it did.

“Then…I…I’m glad you said no! I didn’t want to anyway!” and that was the one that ripped me to shreds I started to break down and he could see it, that was then the rest of the band gathered around and tried to calm things a little before I pushed away and went and sat on a tech box.

Pat followed me, for the first time I felt… vulnerable and all teary eyed. And I actually cried, I guess I just needed it.

“El… I’m so sorry, he never deserved you.” all I could do was cling to him, this wasn’t me at all.

“I’ll be right back after our set, okay?” he held me lifting my chin and wiping my tears. I nodded in agreement and let him hug me one last time before he walked on.

A few seconds after John hugged Tegan and went on, she rushed to my side.

“Ella What all happened?! I only caught the tail end.” she hopped up beside me where Pat had previously been.

“I…I don’t know… Kennedy pushed Pat and I, then…its blurry, the proposal came …up. Not that you know that anyway.” I sighed, it was awful, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep for the rest of my life.

“So, there was a …proposal?” I nodded.

”Tea, I wanted to say yes… but, I couldn’t…It that night before we walked in In-N-Out he, popped the question". The expression on her face I couldn’t even describe.

“Why… did you say no?”

“I… I guess I felt that if I got engaged, it would be too early. I mean I love…loved my old Kennedy, but I mean I know I practically lived over there for a while so I got the taste of what it would be like and I just couldn’t do that yet.” I tried explaining the best that I could without bursting into tears, I was so emotional it wasn’t me at all but the truth is… he hurt me but granted I definitely probably hurt him worse and I felt guilty about that. I needed to get over it.

Before I knew it their set was over and Pat rushed back to my side, popping up on the tech box.

“Ella… let me pack up and we’ll go somewhere?” he asked. I nodded and he smiled and walked around the corner.

I glanced over to see Tegan talking to John again, they were so adorable. They’re like… a Hallmark card. So perfect, if only they would see that.

I figured by then everything with Kennedy had cooled off some…but you know me, I’m usually wrong. Just as I suspected, he came storming off stage and approached me.

“You cant be serious about Pat!” he kept throwing his hands in the air.

“Kennedy…I told you I was done with this!…with us.” the more I watched him the more I got dragged back in, but I couldn’t let that happen.

“Ell’s….please…..don’t….I love you.” NO. NO.NO. this is not at all how I pictured this in my head.

“No… you don’t Kennedy.“ I replied hopping off of the box and started to walk where Pat had gone moments before. How could he call me that… how could he…say that?

“Ell’s…” I hesitantly turned to face him, that’s when it happened the LAST thing I ever thought.

He kissed me, and you should know what happens now… Pat walked from behind the curtain. Somehow, don’t ask me why… I couldn’t pull myself away, I kissed him back no doubt the best kiss of my life… just with the wrong person. Pat just stood there for a few seconds before storming back behind the curtain. The kiss seemed to last forever, but in reality was only like 30 seconds. We slowly pulled our lips apart, I forgot everything in that moment. He smiled at me and I smiled back. I should’ve asked myself what was I thinking. But I stayed with his arms wrapped around me.

“Just like old times huh?” Garrett asked walking from behind his box smiling.

I looked up at Kennedy smiling. He bent down and whispered in my ear that we should head to the back. I nodded and we walked back. For once, things were how I wanted them, but not everybody else felt that way.