Tell Me It's Not Too Late

(ZACH)

I held my head in my hands as I sat in my coach seat on the way to Minnesota. We were circling the airport due to a bad snow storm that was blowing through the area. Out of all the possible days there could have been snow, of course it had to be the day where I needed everything to be on time because even then, I still wasn't getting to my destination fast enough.

Today was by far the worst day of my life. I wasn't one to dwell on stupid crap like that but I was in the middle of a crisis. My team was playing like shit and I was right in that category with them. I couldn't score, none of my passes were tape to tape, and when it came down to clutch time, someone was always that much faster than me. I had never been so frustrated in my whole hockey career than I was now and I'd never felt so guilty about taking it out on Abbie. Oh, Abbs.

A stinging sensation clung to the backs of my eyes, making them water a considerable amount. I begged for the snow to let up, the ice to melt off the runway, and God for a miracle. My baby needed to be okay, she was my everything and more. I'd lost her once, I can't lose her again, I won't. Because if she goes, I don't know what will happen to me. I sighed deeply, trying to stay calm until I landed but it was so hard.

My emotions had been frazzled from the moment Abbie slipped unconscious. I screamed her name, begging for her to answer me as Travis held me up, Lily close by his side, crying silently because she knew something was wrong. But Abbie never answered me. The minutes passed like days until I heard Jordan's voice, followed by several other people. The chaos that followed made everything turn into a blur. Travis forced me to sit down as Lily held my hand. Jordan began to explained to me what he saw and what the EMTs were telling him.

"Zach, it looks bad. You need to get here ASAP," Jordan told me, never one to sugar coat a situation.

"I'm trying, Jord," I told him, my voice cracking as I tried to hold myself together. But the image of Abbie passed out bleeding was too much for me to handle. I had no clue what was wrong with her. She never told me she was sick, she never even mentioned a headache or anything.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, the pressure behind my eyes subsiding as the pilot finally came over the speaker, telling us we would be landing. I was so relieved to finally be getting out of the air and touching down that tears leaked from my eyes. The woman next to me looked a little taken aback since it was obvious she knew who I was. Normally, I would smile and encourage her to engage in a conversation but right now, with the love of my life in danger, I just couldn't handle it. She must have sensed it because she patted my arm and then turned away. I silently thanked her for the comforting gesture before watching as the plane hit the tarmac of the runway.

I flew off the plane the minute I could, running down to the baggage claim and calling Jordan to make sure he was here. He said he was waiting for me and I grabbed my luggage, sprinting to where Jordan was parked. I yanked the trunk open, chucking my bags in before I climbed into the passenger seat and he took off without even waiting for me to shut the door.

"What's happening?" I blurted out immediately, watching as Jordan spend towards the hospital.

"She lost a lot of blood but they think she's going to be okay," Jordan told me, his voice calm. "They gave her a blood transfusion and she's starting to improve a bit but she's still pretty rough. They're keeping her in ICU so that if anything happens, she'll be first priority. But if we would have gotten there even 5 minutes later, she would have died from the loss of blood."

"Did you have to tell me that?" I asked, my stomach clenching in unfathomable pain at the thought of losing her, at the thought of how close I came tonight.

"You wanted the details," he shrugged.

"Thanks for the empathy, Jord," I rolled my eyes at him, looking at the speedometer and seeing how fast he was speeding.

"Dude, I sat there with her and held her hand until I came and got you. It was fucking hard to have to see her there, laying on the bathroom floor. I love that girl like she's my sister and damn, I'm so glad you didn't see her like that. Zach, I'm telling you, you wouldn't have handled it well." His hand came and gripped my shoulder tightly as we came to a stop in the parking lot of the hospital.

I opened my door, throwing my seat belt off of me and beginning to exit the car. Jordan's hand grabbed my arm, holding me in his car before I could get out. "Zach, she doesn't look good at all. And there's some things you need to hear but they can't be from me." Jordan gave me a serious look.

"She's stable now though, right?" I whispered, fearing the answer, that maybe he was holding something back.

"Yeah, mom and dad are with her right now and said they would call if there was a change. But Zach, she's really pale, and looks very sick. She's not herself, and they don't know how long it will be til she wakes up. You have to be patient and let the doctors do their jobs." He gave me a stern look.

"Obviously, they need to make sure she's okay," I snapped at him, frustrated when he pulled on my arm again.

"Zach, your life is going to change when you go in there," Jordan told me, his eyes penetrating my anger. My breathing because very slow as I looked at him, not speaking only blinking.

"Is it that bad?" I asked.

"You'll see for yourself," he concluded, releasing his grip from me and letting me run into the hospital.

My feet pounded against the tiled floor as I cut my run down to a brisk walk, my pace still quite fast for the place I was in. I came to the front desk, asking the women at the counter where Abbie was.

"Are you family?" She asked me.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry but you'll have to wait until visiting hours," she told me, an apologetic look to her eye. "Unless you're one of these people," She told me holding out a list with Krissy, James, and my name on it. I nodded, pulling my wallet out of my pocket and showing her my ID. She gave me a pass and sent me on my way to room 611 where I found my parents, sitting across the hall from her room.

"Mom." I called, as I turned the corner, laying eyes on her. When I was younger, this would be one of those moments where I would hug her, and ask her to make everything better. But I was older now, and it was time for me to act like I could handle the situation. My mom stood up, quickly pulling me into a tight hug.

"Baby, she's stable, but she hasn't woken up yet." My mom told me, kissing my cheek as she squeezed me. I locked eyes with my dad who gave me a sympathetic look and nodded towards Abbie's open door.

"Can I see her?" I asked my mom, pulling away and looking into her eyes.

"Of course."

"Can I handle it?" I whispered softly.

"Yeah, she's just a little pale honey," my mom assured me, rubbing my back softly. I nodded and walked slowly to the opening of the door as my parents said goodbye, going to the waiting room to give us some privacy.

I peeked my head in, looking around the room and directly at the heart monitor where the green line beeped steadily. My eyes landed on the bag of blood that was slowly transferring into her body, dripping into the syringe and then flowing into her veins. I closed my eyes and walked slowly to the edge of the bed, sitting on the chair that was already pulled up to the right side. I kept my eyes on her hand, the one with the needle poked into it and delicately cradled it in mine. I pressed my lips to her soft skin, barely brushing over it.

When I finally gathered the courage, I let myself look at her face. Her eyes had black and purple circled under them. Her face was very pale and pasty, her skin holding no color at all. Her usually cherry red lips were pulled into a thin pink line and her head laid limply against the pillow. Her chest raised and fell in a slow rhythm. I tried to blink away the tears as I pushed a bit of her hair away from her fragile face, careful not to press into anything that would hurt her.

"Baby," I whispered painfully, my body beginning to break down as it yearned for her. "Wake up, please." I watched her face carefully, looking for any sort of twitch or a sign that she was coming too. But nothing happened. Her body stayed still as she tried to recover, but I just knew she heard me. She knew I was here with her, praying for her to wake up and shine her bright eyes at me.

*** (ABBIE)

My eyelids felt like they weighted a thousand pounds each as I tried to open them to look at my boyfriend. I heard him talking to me faintly the night before but now that I felt a little more up to it, I wanted to talk to him. But my eyes just wouldn't allow it. I heard him murmuring softly to the doctor, his sweet voice laced with obvious distress. He couldn't manage a level above a soft murmur, his vocal cords too stressed.

"What happened?" Zach asked the question both of us were wondering.

"Well, first of all, I need to congratulate you because, you're going to be a dad." The doctor started off his voice softly handing Zach the news. I heard all the air whoosh from Zach's lungs as he took in what the doctor just told him. His grip on my hand tightened, giving me a temporary bout of pain due to the needles stuck into my veins.

"What?" Zach wheezed out, his voice sounding constricted. I felt the exact same way as Zach did, thinking about how much my life had just changed by what the doctor just said. I was going to be a mom.

"Abbie is pregnant. I know that's probably a shock to you because she's not far along at all. When she came in here at first, I figured she was having a miscarriage but when we did an ultrasound, I was able to get a read on the baby's heart beat. It was strong, much stronger than Abbie's was at the time. That monitor over there and the wires on her stomach are making note of the babies heart beat. She's about two month along, so there is still some risk but what she experienced really isn't anything abnormal."

"Other women pass out and lose as much blood as she did?" Zach wondered, sounding unconvinced.

"Yes, many women experience the same symptoms, but not to the extremity that Abbie did. She experienced a lot more but every woman's body is different. With the blood transfusion though, I'm confident that she's going to be able to carry the baby to full term. I'm going to check the baby once more when Abbie wakes up, just to check and make sure things are going alright. Do you have any questions?" He asked.

"So, you said the baby is okay?" Zach whispered.

"Yes, as of right now, the baby is still alive. But that doesn't mean there won't be problems in the future."

"Thank you," Zach murmured to the doctor. I heard the scraping of the chair across the floor as Zach scooted closer to me. His head rested against my side, his thumb brushing across the back of my hand, staying away from the needles this time.

"A baby. Abbs, how are we going to do this? We can barely take care of ourselves." Zach whispered to me, his lips pressing softly against my stomach. "I hope it's a boy though. I've always wanted a son. And then maybe we can have a baby girl. I want both, but I guess it doesn't matter as long as we populate the world together." I snorted at that because despite the fact that I couldn't open my eyes easily, I could still make noise. "Abbie!?" Zach exclaimed, his head moving away from my side.

"Zach," I breathed out, my lips cracking painfully from being so chapped.

"Oh baby," he whispered to me as I forced my eyes open, taking in his frantic look. My blue eyes opened wider, locking on his brown ones as he gently brushed his knuckles over my cheek. "I have never been so scared in my life." He buried his face into my side again as tears fell from my eyes.

"We need to talk." I reminded him, my stomach swirling and clenching but in anticipation, so different from last night. "Zach, I'm scared." More tears slid from my eyes, exposing myself to him completely. My bottom lip quivered violently, the tracks of wetness rushing faster down my face. The first sob tore through my chest as Zach wrapped his strong arms around my body.

"We're going to be okay. Don't worry, everything is going to be alright. Trust me honey, I'm going to take care of you," he whispered softly into my hair as I clung to his shirt, ignoring the clearing of someones throat. I sniffled, sucking in a couple fast, hysteric breaths before turning from my safe haven to where Krissy stood, disheveled and sobbing next to James.

"What the fuck happened!?" Krissy cried, climbing onto the bed and battling with Zach as she pulled me into her tightly. I cried harder now that Krissy and Zach had their arm around me, Zach pulling Krissy tightly into the both of us. James sat next to Krissy, softly rubbing her back while giving Zach's shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"Kris, I'm pregnant," I sobbed to her, needing her to tell me that it would be okay just like she did yesterday afternoon. She needed to reassure me that it would be okay. I needed to be okay. But most importantly, I needed Zach with me on this. I needed to know he would be there without a doubt because once we brought a baby into the world he could get sick of me like he did in North Dakota. I couldn't do this by myself. If Zach left, I would only have Krissy and Brian but the two of them combined would never equal Zach.

"Shhh, it's alright Abbs. It's not like your in high school and unable to take care of yourself. You're 25 years old with a boyfriend who loves you so much and it's not like you can't afford a kid." She giggled softly, placing a soft kiss on top of my head. I laughed softly, feeling my tears subside as James and Zach laughed too.

"Zach, James. Can I talk to Krissy alone for a minute please?" I asked, squeezing Zach's hand tightly before letting go. His arms dropped from around me as he kissed my cheek softly, telling me he loved me before exiting the room with James. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the brown locks before rubbing his face roughly. I could see the stress on his face as James shut the door, blowing me a kiss as he went. I smiled softly, turning back to Krissy.

"I don't think I can do this," I whispered to her as she sighed softly.

"Abbie, you're at a point in your life where having a baby won't fuck everything up." Her fingers ran over my back, trying to keep me calm as we talked.

"Yeah, but what about Zach? We're not married and he has a good reputation to uphold. Having a baby out of wedlock will not make the parents of his little fans happy," I groaned, my head hitting the pillow again. A pain tweaked in my stomach again, telling me I needed to stay calm. Being pregnant meant my body was already under enough stress, I needed to stop adding to it.

"Do you really think Zach cares about that? Did you see how stressed he was? His biggest problem right now, is that he has a girlfriend and a baby who aren't out of the woods yet. You're laying in a hospital bed after almost bleeding to death and you think he's worried about his reputation? No, what he's worried about is getting you better and keeping you that way until you give birth. You're going to have a baby, you can't change that. It's already happened. I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, you and Zach need something like this. You need something to bring you closer together. This will help you trust him again," she told me. I looked down at my hands, chipping off a bit of my nail polish.

"What if I'm a bad mother?" I whispered, biting my lip softly. I chewed on the already irritated flesh, needing some sort of distraction from the tears and my fears.

"With how caring you are and with Zach by your side, you'll be the best mom this baby could ask for," she smiled at me as happy tears slipped from my eyes.

"Thank you, Krissy. I'm going to need you." I whispered, hugging her tightly.

"I believe in you and him, so start believing in yourselves." I nodded, agreeing with her statement.

"Go get him for me, please?" I asked her to which she hopped off the bed and called to Zach. He was in the room quickly and at my side even quicker. His hand grabbed mine as I scooted over, wanting him as close as possible to me.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, his thumb making small circles on my hip. I rested my head on his shoulder, his warmth coming through his Shattuck hockey shirt. He dropped a kiss on my head, as I played with the fingers of his hand.

"I'm sleepy," I whispered softly to him, my eyes drifting closed.

"You should sleep. You're body needs to recover," he whispered, his lips brushing against mine ever so slightly. "We'll talk when you get up, honey." He assured me when I started to protest.

"You'll be here right?" I wondered, my fear taking a hold of my lungs, not letting me breathe until he answered.

"Of course. I'll always be here."

I nodded, knowing his meaning was so much more than being here in a couple hours. He was promising that he would be here for such a bigger thing. The thing that was currently growing inside of me. The thing that despite my fears, I loved more than anything at the moment. I had never felt so blessed before in my life. I was going to have a baby with the one man who had always had my heart. We would be bound together and were being granted a symbol of our love. Yeah, the rest of my life was just about to start with Zach next to me, always and forever.