Tell Me It's Not Too Late

I bit my lips as I looked down at the ice in the Prudential Center, watching silently with the other Devils fans as the time wound down, the Devils season about to end. Lily sighed softly next to me, both of us glancing at each other before looking back at our significant others. Zach skated around in sad circles as he looked down at where the Hurricanes were, congratulating their goalie on a well played game and series. His eyes were so sad, too sad for my to stand looking at him anymore. I placed my hands on my now protruding and hard stomach.

I rubbed my belly lightly over my Parise jersey as Lily laid her head on my shoulder. "Comfort me mommy," she murmured softly to me.

"There's not much I can do sweetie." I told her, watching as a little boy sobbed softly in his dad's arms. The boy wore a Parise jersey, making my heart cry out for him. For some reason, it seemed like a preview as to what my life was going to look like soon. I would have a son who will live and die through his dad and his hockey team.

"Aw, don't cry," I murmured softly, only loud enough for Lily to hear me.

"Oh, you're one of those pregnant women?" Lily giggled lifting her head off of my shoulder.

"Shut up, he has Zach's jersey on." I mumbled to her as I shifted around in my seat, trying to get comfortable for the long wait we were about to have. The boys would take forever to get undressed because it was the last time they would all be together. Some would get traded, some would be eligible for free agency, and some would return for the next season, but either way, the team would not look that way next year. Zach would take it hard, he would put a lot of ownage on himself because he was the top goal scorer, him and his line needed to chip in offensively and when they didn't, the team rarely won.

"Tell me about Zachary Junior," Lily murmured to me as we watched the people in the arena begin to clean up the aftermath of playoff hockey.

"He's healthy, and he is about the size of a baked potato." I told her, pulling out the pregnant woman's bible from my purse since I read it during intermissions.

We sat in the arena, flipping through the book and pointing out weird and random things about being pregnant that we hadn't known until glancing about the book. Lily took the time to grill me about what it was like to be pregnant and I answered honestly.

"It's weird. It's weird to have a baby growing inside of you that is sucking the nutrients from your body and making you weak and sick the first trimester. But where I am now, I love it. Zach waits on me hand and foot, gives me back and foot rubs. He's been so amazing through this whole thing. He's really going to be a great dad." I murmured softly, giggling when I thought of a story for her. "So last Friday was the first time I got a craving in the middle of the night. I really, really wanted some cheesecake, which on normal circumstances, I hate. I woke Zach up and he was being kind of cranky. So I told him, unless you want to have the wrath of a pregnant woman put on you, you better get your ass up and to Trader Joe's to get me some cheesecake. Well, of course, it's like two in the morning, so he's at the store looking in the window and then a security guard comes out. Zach basically begs him to let him in and thankfully, he's a Devils fan. So the guy got an autograph and I got my cheesecake, and Zach got to sleep."

"That is fucking priceless!" Lily exclaimed in between hysterics.

"The funniest part was the way he left, his hair was standing up every which way and he had a pillow crease across his face. It was adorable, but still funny at the same time." I laughed along with her.

"I've been trying to call you for like ten minutes," Zach snapped from the end of our row. Travis was behind him holding a somber look on his face while Zach was nothing but angry.

"Oh shit," Lily mumbled, standing quickly along with me as we met them.

"Sorry, I didn't hear my phone ring," I shrugged, pursing my lips to try and stay calm. I didn't want to fight with him, not when he was already so upset. Zach and I could really go at it if we wanted to, but other than that, he was usually a sweetheart. Except after loses and I had a feeling it was going to be one of those nights. I tried to pull him into a hug but he grabbed my wrists and put my hands down at my sides again, stalking up the stairs after Travis. "Okay?" I muttered to Lily, who gave me a sad look.

We silently walked behind the boys, having no idea what to say to them and really not wanting to get them going. Travis was quietly talking to Zach, his hand on his shoulder as he leaned close, glancing directly back at me. Zach shook his hand off and glared at him, telling him to mind his own fucking business. Lily and I shared another worried look as Travis turned around and walked towards us.

"He's really mad at himself, and I tried to tell him to not take it out on you, but he's really ticked." Travis muttered, running a hand over his damp hair. I bit my lip and nodded in understanding.

"Thanks Trav, I think I can handle him." I smiled at the couple, hugging them both before following after my ticked boyfriend.

My shoes squeaked against the concrete floor as I tried to catch up with him, figuring calling out wouldn't do much. I grabbed his hand when I was finally a stride behind him, tugging him so he was in stride with me. He tensed under my touch, his eyes getting harder like they did when he was angry. A slight pain went through my body at his actions since I hadn't done anything to him.

"Zach-"

"Just don't. Just shut up." He growled dangerously at me, dropping my hand as he pushed through the door to the parking lot. I stopped walking after him, the angry and stubborn side of me already flaring from his brush off. I gritted my teeth against the scream that wanted to let loose and I walked to the wall, sliding down it and cupping my baby as I waited for him to come back in. I could just imagine him sitting in the car, fuming as he stared at the steering wheel and then the door, waiting for me to come out.

"Daddy's being a dick," I murmured to my son, wishing I could kiss him right now. I wish I could hold him, to show him how much I loved him and to see his cute, baby face, so that he could make me feel better about the way Zach was treating me. At least with the baby I knew someone would always need me, The metal door swung open again and Zach stood in the doorway, looking down at me as I ran my hands over my bump. He walked over to me, standing in front of me with his hand outstretched to pull me off of the floor.

"You know, I don't know if I really want to go with you." I snarled at him, watching as his face flushed with anger.

"Then stay here for all I give a shit. Then I won't have you complaining about all this stupid shit that I don't care about." He bellowed back at me. It was the first time in awhile that Zach had raised his voice at me. Tears poked against the back of my eyes but for right now, they were going under the angry category of tears.

"Oh, well I'm sorry I'm such an inconvenience to you. Sorry that you knocked me up you fucking asshole. I didn't ask for this. I didn't want to be pregnant but shit happens and you have to deal with it. You have to grow the fuck up before the baby gets here Zach. Because you still pout and stomp around like a child when you don't get what you want!"

"You think I asked for my girlfriend to get pregnant? No fucking way. This is just a big fat problem in my life. You pregnant is bad for me, because it's all about you and the fucking kid. I have to give up my sleep, my money, my house, to you and a kid that I didn't even want!"

"Don't talk about our baby like that! I don't care what you say about me but you are not allowed to talk about him in such a negative way," I screamed at him, the maternal side of me wanting to slap the hell out of Zach. His words stung, they stung to the core so much so that I felt my heart twisting apart, tearing at the seems and the scars from college becoming sore until they throbbed like a wound with salt in it. "And fuck you for being so goddamn selfish. I'm glad the real Zach is coming out before he gets here. God forbid he ever finds out what an asshole is dad really is." The venom dripped from my voice as I walked out of the door, beginning my journey back to Zach's house.

I had no idea what I was going to do when I got back there. I could call Lily and ask if I could stay there for awhile. I could get a hotel at one of the several that were located around the area, but then there was the issue of transportation, my car was still in Minnesota. At the mention of my home state, I wanted to bawl my eyes out. How could I be stupid enough to move across the country and away from the place I wanted to live just for a guy. Sure he was my baby's father, but it didn't matter, he was obviously not in this as much as he had made it seem.

"Abbie, come on!" Zach screamed from the arena entrance, his hands cupped around his mouth so his voice would reach me. I turned around and flipped him off before I kept walking, reaching the main street and getting ready for my cold walk home. Being pregnant and walking back to Zach's house a good thirty miles away, probably wasn't one of my best ideas but it was better than being stuck in the car with him.

Of course I was barely able to make it down the street when Zach's Audi was idling by me and his window was rolling down. "Abbie get in the car." Zach pleaded with me, his voice, face, and eyes so much softer than they had been just moments before.

"No, you're an asshole."

"Abbie, I'm sorry. I'm just upset and I didn't mean anything I said." He told me, everything I expected him to say.

"Zach, in this situation, sorry will get you jack shit, and it will definitely not get me in the car with you. The fact that I would rather walk thirty miles than get in the car with you should definitely say something."

"I know. What I said was terrible and wrong but I promise I didn't mean any of it. Please baby, just get in the car."

"Don't you baby me, Zachary." I growled to him, stopping on the sidewalk and turning to glower at him.

"Abbie, please, I'll get you something to eat, anything you want, anything that the baby wants, just please, I'm begging you to get in the car."

"No."

"Abbigail Marie Fairchild, get your ass in the car before I get out of the car and drag you to it!" Zach yelled to me, his frustration becoming evident to me. I stifled a laugh at my full name, trying very hard not to let him see my smile.

"As if yelling at me is going to get you what you- WANT! ZACHARY JUSTIN PARISE, PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!" I screeched as Zach scooped me into his arms and walked me to the passenger side. He gently set me into the car, locking the doors every time I tried to pull the handle to get out. "I fucking hate you right now," I snapped at him, slapping him upside the head hard as he drove.

"Don't hit the driver." He scolded me, amusement evident in his stupid smirk.

The rest of the ride was spent with me scowling at Zach, never taking my nasty look off my face or turning away from him. He hummed along to the music as if he didn't even notice, his smirk still plastered on his face as if to mock me. He was thoroughly amused by how annoyed I was.

"What do you want to eat?" Zach asked me, glancing over and pinching my cheek just to get me riled up. I swatted at his hand but he was too quick, already having it back on the steering wheel. Now he was just messing with me to get me going. To make me mad at to get me to say stuff I would regret, probably so he could feel better about all of the stuff he said, which by the way, was still hurting at the moment. "Italian, American, Mexican, Asian? You name it babe."

"Food doesn't take back what you said, Zachary."

"Can you please not call me Zachary? It sounds like when my mother is scolding me."

"I'm scolding you, which is ten times worse than your mother because A, I'm your girlfriend, and B, I'm pregnant. I know no mercy." I told him, watching as he cringed. "And I want all of the above." Zach's mouth dropped open and he turned to look at me, a comment on the tip of his tongue but he refrained from voicing it out loud when my blue eyes got cloudy and dark, mirroring the sky when it's about to storm. I smiled at the obvious shiver that ran down Zach's spine.

A half hour and four drive-thrus later, I was cuddled in my bed with a cute movie and all of my food while Zach tended to Mikko who had an ear infection. Mikko swatted at his daddy, his white paw coming in contact with Zach's arm as he tried to put the drops of medicine in his ear.

"Come on Mikko, I know you don't like it but it will make you feel better," Zach told him, rubbing the top of his head as Mikko began to growl. Zach grabbed his nose, clamping it shut and bringing his face close to his. "Do not growl at me." Zach warned him, his voice menacing and enough for Mikko to back down.

"He never growls at me," I smirked at Zach from my throne as I like to refer to it, the soft and fluffy bed fit for a queen.

"That's because he would be dead." Zach rolled his eyes at me and put the drops in Mikko's ear as he whimpered softly, wanting it to be over. Zach released his head and Mikko shook it immediately, licking Zach's face at the instant relief the drops gave him. "See, all better bud," He cooed to the dog, who continued to lick him. I smiled softly at Zach as he looked up at me, crawling over to the bed and kneeling next to me.

"I don't deserve you or him," he murmured, placing a hand on my stomach before kissing it softly.

"Maybe not, but you have us so don't take us for granted." I reminded him, giving him a piece of my sweet and sour chicken. "Get up here and snuggle with me."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Zach crawled up onto the bed, moving around my several boxes of food as I grinned at him, proud that I had ate a majority of it. Actually, I wasn't that proud but it was pretty impressive since my stomach used to be the size of a peanut. He pulled me into his arms, letting my head rest on his chest as the movie continued, both of us not paying attention to it at all. He dropped kiss after kiss on my lips, cheeks, and forehead, softly playing with the curls in my hair as I ate the rest of my chicken. His hands eventually found our son, rubbing up, down, and across over the swollen pouch that held our new favorite baby.

"Just so you know, we are naming him after me," Zach whispered softly.

"No. We are not." I told him, giggling as he pouted.

"Why?"

"Because, he deserves his own name, not a hand me down."

"Zach is a good name."

"Yeah, but he's not a Zach, he's a, he's a, um.. Oh! he's a Nemo!" I exclaimed, watching as Zach gave me a weird look. "Because he's swimming around right now." I laughed loudly, finding myself quite funny.

"That is so wrong."

"Did you know, that a lot of mothers like to have water births? Yeah, gross. Hello, who wants to swim around in all of that crap as it's coming out of you? No thank you. But that's why he's a Nemo. He's swimming around inside of me."

"When can we feel him swim around?" Zach asked me, kissing the top of my head, his hands running over my belly and making me shiver. His gentle touch was enough to turn me on, my hormones making my head feel light headed.

"I don't know, but I have a question for you."

"Okay.."

"Make love to me please?" I whimpered to him, his hands halting from running over my stomach.

"Are you sure?" He asked me, tilting me head back so he could look into my eyes.

"I want you to make me feel beautiful enough for you," I whispered, letting my insecurities out. I was scared that while I was getting fat, Zach wouldn't want me anymore. That he would be disgusted by the stretch marks and the extra pounds I was putting on so our baby would have some cushion.

"I can do that for you," He murmured, a smile stretching his lips, his dimples puncturing his skin. He slid out from under me, and onto his side, rolling me towards him as he fastened our lips together in a sweet kiss. His hands spreading out across my stomach again, knowing how crazy that seemed to make me. It was only Zach though, it Lily, Travis, or the thousands of other people who knew I was pregnant touched my stomach, it was no big deal. But when Zach's strong and calloused hands ran over my stomach, it made my knees week and my whole body react in a way that was anything but sweet.

"You're beautiful Abbie, inside and out. You make me a better person because of who you are. I know this is hard for you and I don't give you enough credit for it, but thank you for giving him to me. He isn't here yet, but I need him. I know what I said doesn't show that, but I want him so bad that my chest aches." He placed butterfly kisses along my neck, nipping and sucking as his hands pulled my shirt up and off of me. I closed my eyes immediately, not wanting to see his reaction to my stomach. It had been awhile since we had been intimate because I was starting to get stretch marks and I was way bigger than I usually way. It was understandable but it didn't stop me from being insecure about it.

"Open your eyes," he murmured as he let my pants and his shirt hit the floor next. I could feel his hot, minty breath, hitting my face, telling me he was hovering over me. My eyes hesitantly fluttered open to look at him. "You are beautiful Abbie, and honestly, you're even more beautiful when you're carrying my child."

"Zach, love me." I whimpered to him.

"I do love you, and I'm getting there." He smiled down at me before his mouth moved over my breasts, down to my stomach and to my belly button that was starting to become more of an outty instead of an inny. Tears formed in my eyes at how sweet he was being, his harsh words from earlier, melting away until they were a distant past. But there were still scars there from them as they faded into my heart, reminders that everyone had flaws.

Zach removed my bra, his hands massaging the tender and stretched skin, lightly running his thumbs over my very sensitive nipples. I moaned softly as he caressed them just the way I wanted him too. "I love these when you're pregnant," he smirked as his mouthed dipped down, capturing one of the buds into his mouth. I threaded my fingers through his hair, holding his head there because it felt too damn good to let him move away.

"Zach..."

He moved away, his hands moving to my black panties and shoving them down my legs as I worked on his belt and dress pants. He kicked them off along with his boxer briefs until he was kneeling in front of me in all his naked glory. I reached for him desperately an he grasped my wrists, his fingers lacing with mine as he hovered over me again. "Let me take care of you. This is all about you because you deserve that." He assured me, his lips puckering and settling on mine once again.

We made love that night, and Zach made me feel more than beautiful, he made me feel extraordinary. He made me feel like I was the only woman in the world that mattered to him, the only person he would ever want to carry his baby. He was slow and respectful of my easily stretched body, my limbs becoming more flexible the farther I got into my pregnancy. He worshiped me like I was a queen, making sure I was thoroughly satisfied through out the night. We made love more than once, twice but three times, because that's what I deserved, as he told me. That night, Zach Parise showed me just how much he loved me, and I found out, it was more than words could ever express. Because of the amount, words failed, so actions needed to take over, which makes sense, because in the end, actions speak louder than words.