Tell Me It's Not Too Late

My blue eyes scanned the backyard of Zach and I's house in Minnesota, watching as the party goers chatted and laughed, celebrating amongst Lord Stanley who was finally making his long awaited trip to Minnesota after being in the hands of the other Devil players and before that, several other hockey players who had been fortunate enough to hoist the cup at the end of the year. The Devils were finally able to be one of those lucky teams to get their names engraved on the sleek surface of the trophy, and I couldn't have been any prouder of Zach than I was when I watched him hoist it over his head, rivaling Sidney Crosby's scream as he brought it to his lips and laying a big one on it. Later that night, he laid one on me also, one that completely took my breath away and made Tanner giggle at his parents.

Tanner trailed around after Zach as he walked around, thanking people for coming and joining in on casual conversations. The little boy, who had just turned two,was still the apple of his father's eye and trailed along behind Zach whenever he was given the opportunity. I smiled softly as Zach turned, scooping Tanner up into his arms, throwing him into the air next and laughing as the little boy shrieked in happiness. Zach turned to look around the yard once Tanner was tucked on his hip, brown eyes dancing over the various other people until he found me in a chair by the house, a content smile on his face.

I watched as he approached me, my eyes dilating as he handed Tanner to me, who immediately began to squirm his protest, wanting his father.

"Give mommy some love for a bit. She looks lonely over here." Zach told the little boy, ghosting his hand over his thick brunette hair.

"'kay." Tanner mumbled as he laid his head against my shoulder, his hand reaching for my shoulder for a balance.

"Are you having fun?" I asked Zach as he fell into a chair next to me, surveying the party. We both chuckled quietly as we watched Krissy and James try to coax Dani into showing Travis and Lily that she could walk. The little girl wouldn't have any of it though as she sat on the ground, sobbing up at her parents. Finally, Krissy gave up and pulled her into her body tightly to soothe her.

"Yeah. I'm just sad that it's coming to a close so quickly. I was hoping it would go by a little slower." Zach sighed softly, reaching into my lap for my hand. His thumb brushed across the back of it as he yawned loudly.

"Tired?" I chuckled as I stood up, handing Tanner to him who cuddled into his father immediately.

"A little bit. Where you going?" Zach murmured to me, reaching for my hand again to tug me closer to his chair. He pulled my face down to his and brushed his lips across mine, making my skin tingle when I pulled away.

"To the bathroom." I smiled

"Didn't you just go?" He asked me, tilting his head to the side with a curious expression.

"I have to go again. I broke the seal babe," I complained quietly, kissing his lips once again before walking away, but not before getting a distinct slap against one of my butt cheeks. "Classy, Parise." I chuckled as I sauntered into the air conditioned house, closing the sliding glass door behind me. I quickly walked to my left, looking out the kitchen window to make sure Zach didn't decide to follow. I sighed in relief before turning and hastily making my way up to the bathroom.

As I climbed the stairs, I felt my heartbeat spike considerably with each stair that I took, knowing what awaited me in the bathroom. It was either a yes or a no, a baby or no baby, an extension of our family of three, or just a scare. I wasn't going to lie, if it said it was negative, there was a good chance I was going to cry. I had been suspicious of the way I had been feeling for the past week and a half, feeling how touchy I seemed to be, how crabby I was and how I was tired all the time. Not to mention the fact that I was about two weeks late.

My feet padded against the cream carpet as I entered the bedroom, hooking a right to the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. I closed my eyes, sucking in a deep breath and trying to calm myself enough to pick up the test. I didn't want it to be negative. I wanted to have a baby. I wanted to give Zach another child to tote around, maybe even a little girl if we were lucky. But if that test said no, it would most definitely discourage me from trying anytime soon.

"Just do it, Abbie." I muttered to myself, pushing off from the door and gathering the test in my hands. I looked at myself in the mirror, noting the way my cheeks were tinted with a bit of color from being in the sun all day. I sighed, looking down at the stick in my hands and feeling tears pool in my eyes at the eight letter word that looked back at me.

Pregnant

A huge grin broke out on my face as I looked up, seeing the pure joy and the way my skin seemed to glow. I threw the test in the trash and exited the bathroom, sucking in a deep breath as I rejoined the party with a smile I couldn't seem to take off of my face. Krissy was the first to notice it as I walked to the food table, adjusting some of the food and looking at the things that needed to be refilled. I grabbed the bag of pretzels and poured a couple more into the bowl just as Krissy took a couple to pop into her mouth.

"You're uncharacteristically happy." She observed, wiggling her eyebrows at me as I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'm a happy person."

"Yes, but usually not when you're throwing a party. You're strictly business. Where have you been disappearing to?"

"The house to make sure you all have enough to eat." I told her, giving her a look.

"Okay. Well how about after you inform Zach you let me know." She winked at my back as I shook my head and walked away.

Later that night, Tanner, Zach, and I all laid on the couch, watching the Minnesota Twins face off against the New York Yankees. Tanner was hopped up on sugar, most likely from the several pieces of cake Zach allowed him to have, while his parents sat sluggishly next to each other on the couch. Tanner would turn around every time he noticed something cool on the screen or whenever he thought of something he wanted to talk about. He was the most talkative two year old I had ever heard of, but it was most definitely beneficial in order to know what he wanted.

"Are you asleep?" Zach asked me as the sixth inning started, my eyes shut as I breathed steadily, my head resting against his shoulder as I curled into his body.

"Almost." I mumbled sleepily, turning to press my nose against his neck. His arms wrapped tighter around me on instinct before dropping a kiss to the top of my head. His fingers trailed along my back as I looped my arms around his body to hold us closer together. I was already craving that physical contact like I had been when I was pregnant with Tanner.

"Momma?" Tanner asked curiously, placing his hands against my legs. "When do I get to tell daddy?" He reminded me of the information I had told him earlier in the day. I decided to let Tanner in on the little secret when he emerged from the bathroom, while Zach had been giving Lord Stanley back to the cup holders, grasping the test I had taken during the day. After explaining it to him, I asked if he wanted to be the one to break the news. Always one for helping, Tanner had bounced around and squealed a loud yes.

"I guess so, honey." I smiled at him before turning to Zach who had a reserved look on his face. "Go ahead baby boy." I urged him, switching my legs off of Zach's lap so Tanner could crawl up. The little boy gave a small giggled before he spoke in a loud whisper.

"I'm gonna be a big brotha daddy!" Tanner's brown eyes were wide with undeniable excitement as he exclaimed to his father the news.

I watched Zach's face turn slowly from Tanner to me, a huge grin stretching his lips. This was such a different reaction than when we found out about Tanner. There was no fear, no sense of dread when it came to being parents again. This time, the three of us were able to share in our joy together, all of us smiling as we embraced in a warm hug, filled with love and anticipation for the next member of the Parise family.

"When did you find out?" Zach asked Tanner, but the question was directed at me.

"Today."

"So you haven't gone to the doctor yet? You don't know when you're due?" He murmured, licking his lips as his dimples shone with his smile.

"No, but I'll probably have to look into that, huh?" I giggled.

"Yeah, that might be a good idea." He winked at me before pressing his lips to mine and kissing me delicately. We pulled apart as Tanner let out an audible gasp, his eyes wide and mouth dropped open with horror.

"Mom! Does this mean I have to give up my room!? Does this mean the new baby gets all of my toys!?" He pouted, on the verge of tears as he pressed his hands against his dad's chest, ready to fling himself against it in a tempertantrum.

"No! Of course not, baby. There are plenty of rooms here for the baby to stay in, and in New Jersey. You don't have to give up any of your toys. The baby will get some of its own." I tried not to laugh as Tanner sighed in pure relief, snuggling into the two of us as Zach chuckled.

"Good. Cause then I was gonna say you had to take the baby back cause I'm not sharing anything." He huffed out, knowing all about siblings from the other kids who were part of the Devils' family.

"Well, Tan, you'll have to share us." Zach informed him to which the little boy dropped his mouth open in shock, sucking in a breath as his chest puffed out. I swatted the back of Zach's head as I dropped a kiss on Tanner's nose.

"Don't worry, baby boy, mom and dad will be here for you for everything you need. The new baby will need a lot of attention, but the good thing is, you're a big boy and you'll be able to help. You can be mommy and daddy's big boy." I gave him a bright smile, satisfied that Tanner seemed to buy it.

Tanner turned his attention back to the TV after that, letting the sound lull him to sleep as Zach and I shared a glance, knowing it was going to be a hard transition for Tanner to go from an only child, to having to be a big brother to a baby who needed five times the attention, something Tanner wouldn't appreciate. But as we laid lazily on the couch, we couldn't help but let that fall away until the time arose, instead opting to simmer in the glow of what was to come.
***

I carefully placed the turkey back in the oven after checking it's temperature, noting that it still had a couple more hours to go before it would be ready to eat. I sighed and shuffled around Mikko as he tried to distract me from my work, begging for a scrap of the meat or maybe even some dessert. I scolded him and shoved him lightly with my foot, but he still wouldn't leave the kitchen.

"Mikko, out, NOW!" I pointed towards the living room and watched as his ears bent back into his fur, his head hanging down as he begrudgingly moved to where Zach was watching the Detroit Lions play the Green Bay Packers. I rolled my eyes at my husband who waved at me from over the couch where he was lounging around while I slaved in the kitchen. "I could hit you right now," I told him to which he grinned at me.

"I'm holding our baby," he stated smugly, holding the baby girl up above the back of the couch so I could see her sleeping form, curled up in her daddy's large hands. I shook my head at him and began peeling the potatoes as Zach stood up, setting the delicate baby into her crib and walking into the kitchen where he wrapped his arms around my waist. Even after all these years, the touch of his skin to mine was enough to make tingles trail up and down my spine. His lips softly pressed against my neck and cheek before he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"And now you're coming to distract me." I complained softly, not minding one bit as his hands traced small circles on my hips.

"You wanted help."

"This is not help. This is definitely a distraction," I murmured to him, setting the knife and potato down, rotating around so that our chests were pressed together. His fingers fluttered to my lower back where he started drawing the circles again, my nerves instantly reacting with goosebumps.

"Where is Tanner?" I whispered as his lips hovered over mine.

"He's in his playroom," Zach murmured before caressing my lips with his and making my knees go weak. I sighed softly into the kiss, feeling at ease and the stress of the holiday sliding off my body as he pressed me against the counter. His hands moved from my back to the counter, pushing everything aside before he hoisted me onto the marble counter top. He stepped in between my legs, his tongue meeting with mine and massaging it lightly. The whole world started to melt away until the phone began to ring, making Zach and I groan in protest. He grabbed it from the holder and threw it in the air, catching it and looking down at the caller ID. He rolled his eyes before handing it to me. "Krissy."

"Hello." I answered, giggling at Zach as he exited the kitchen much like Mikko had.

"Hey we're going to be a little late. Dani had a tempertantrum in the middle of Target and the lines were long, so it took forever. But we should be there in about an hour," she told me, the sound of light crying heard in the background.

"Aw, she's still crying?" I asked Krissy, my feet hitting the hardwood as I jumped off the counter.

"Yeah, I think she's teething or something," Krissy dismissed as I heard James softly consoling his daughter. I smiled slightly, knowing Krissy was feeling the same way, but she had to be the hard parent since James was such a softy.

"Alright, we'll see you in a little bit," I told her, hanging up and going back to cooking the food.

Krissy and James were coming over to share in the holiday festivities since there was no time to go home for them. James had been traded about a year ago to the New York Rangers, something that was so bittersweet for our two families. There was a heated rivalry between the Devils and the Rangers, but at the same time, Krissy and I could finally be close enough to see each other at least once a week which we made sure to do.

I began peeling the potatoes again, humming softly to the Christmas music that filtered from the speakers in the ceiling. I mashed the potatoes up after that, making sure they were just how I liked them, no clumps, before putting them in the oven above the turkey and turning to work on the appetizers. A tug at my leg stopped me from moving to the fridge and I looked down, seeing my almost three and a half year old, son rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Hey pumpkin," I cooed to him, patting his head and trying to move to the fridge again. Tanner stood right in the way though, still rubbing at his eyes. His little lips held a pout and he looked up at me with a soft expression.

"'m tired momma," He whispered to me, nuzzling my leg.

"Baby, mommy's busy," I murmured to him, rubbing the top of his head and threading my hands through his soft hair. I leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Go find your daddy, I bet he'd like to take a nap with you." I gave him a light pat towards the living room and watched as he lumbered over to the couch. I walked out of the kitchen, surveying the perfect scene that was beginning to unfold.

"Daddy, 'm tired," he whispered to his dad who's eyes were closed. "Daddy," Tanner tried again, patting his face lightly and tilting his head to the side as he studied an older version of himself. Tanner leaned his ear by his dad's face, checking to see if he was still breathing. The little boy lifted his shoulders in a shrug before he climbed onto the couch with a little help from his daddy's arm that had moved to catch him when he almost fell. Tanner giggled softly on his dad, snuggling into his chest before letting his brown eyes flutter closed. A small smile tugged on Zach's lips as he fell asleep, along with his little boy.

I sighed softly before turning back to the kitchen and making pickle wraps, Tanner's favorite. I continued to prepare the meal as the three people I loved the most slept in the room next to me, softly dreaming and snoring. I made sure everything was on track to be done in time before I moved into the living room, picking up our baby girl, Hailey, who just turned seven months old, and cradling her to my chest. She stirred softly in my arms, her blue eyes shining up at me as I looked her over.

Hailey Marie Parise was born in New Jersey on April 23rd, two weeks later than her actual due date. She weighed in at a light 7 pounds and 9 oz with blue eyes that hooked her dad the moment he set his brown eyes on her. Zach was head over heels in love with his baby girl, toting her around in her pink dresses just like he had always wanted too. He showed her off whenever he could and his eyes sparkled like when he won the Stanley Cup if anyone commented about how adorable she was, which had to be at least once a week. Hailey had this undeniable charm that was precious for a little baby, but would probably prove to be lethal when she became a teenager.

"Are you hungry Hails?" I asked her softly, rocking her in my arms when she started to fuss slightly. I stood up and went to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of milk and heating it up. I tested the warm liquid on my wrist, making sure it was safe for her to drink. Satisfied it was, I went to the couch and sat down on top of Zach's feet, wanting to be close to him. One of his eyes perked open as he sat up slightly, holding Tanner to him tightly.

"Come here," He murmured sleepily, sitting up and cradling Tanner to him, the little boy's head now resting on his shoulder. I cuddled into his side, adjusting the baby in my arms and tilting her as she started to fuss, wanting the bottle in my other hand.

Zach and I watched the rest of the football game while the food cooked, Tanner slept, and Hailey ate before falling asleep like her brother. Mikko trotted into the living room from the kitchen where he had been looking for some sort of food on the ground, sighing defeatedly before laying down beside my feet. Zach snorted and shook his head at me.

"That's what happens when you feed him all the time." Zach pointed out, reminding me of all the times I had fed him from the table and dropped scraps for him when I was cooking. I rolled my eyes at him and shifted Hailey around in my arms, looking down at Tanner who now had his eyes open, studying his baby sister.

Although Zach and I had been worried about Tanner, the older brother had made such a smooth transition, becoming transfixed by his little sister the moment he had held her (with help from his father). The little boy knew that the baby in his arms was special and his brotherly love started to shine from then on. He helped us with everything, feeding, baths, picking up her toys even as she threw them down from her high chair a hundred times, and he even helped changing her diapers despite the fact that he was disgusted by it.

A knock sounded at the door, causing Mikko to bolt up and begin barking while galloping to the door, waking Hailey in the process who yelled her protest at the dog who loved to lick her face when she was laying on the floor.

"Aw, baby girl come to daddy." Zach murmured to her, scooping the beauty up into his arms and smiling at her, dimples poking into his skin as he nuzzled their noses together.

I smiled at the sight before following Tanner and Mikko to the door, opening it for the Sheppard family to move in. James walked in with Dani who squirmed to be set down as Tanner looked at her with a slight smile on his face. He felt like an older brother to Dani as well, helping her to walk with him to the living room where Zach still was. Krissy hobbled in next, six months pregnant to the day and as huge as ever.

"I forgot how much I hate being pregnant." She huffed, shutting the door behind her as we embraced into a tight hug like we hadn't seen each other for weeks rather than days. It never mattered though, I would always miss Krissy when she wasn't around.

"Only a couple more months." I smiled to her, rubbing her belly softly, and for a moment wishing I could be pregnant again. But Zach and I talked about it, and we were going to wait for both Tanner and Hailey to be older before adding to our family of four. We both agreed two wasn't enough.

"Where is my goddaughter?" Krissy wondered, waddling into the living room where Zach was holding Hailey as the other three in the room fawned all over her. The baby smiled at the attention, sucking it all in as she giggled and made cute noises, making everyone awe at her. I shook my head and leaned against the door jam, surveying the scene. Tanner looked up at me, our eyes meeting as I smiled at the little boy who hopped off the couch to be lifted into my arms.

"I love you, momma." He whispered to me, sticking his face into the crook of my neck as I held him close to me. I felt a slight pang against the walls of my heart as I realized I wouldn't be able to pick him up pretty soon because he was growing up so quickly. Flashes of when he was in the womb and when he was born, along with all those moments since then flashed through my brain and I wondered how fast Hailey would grow up; probably just as quickly. I pressed a kiss to Tanner, ignoring the burn of tears against the backs of my eyes.

"I love you too, Tanner. Never forget that." I breathed out before moving into the living room, ready to get the holiday festivities underway.