Show Me What I'm Looking For

Kevin stared directly at the road as he drove. We haven't spoke a word in about a week. I would rather have him yelling at me than saying nothing at all. There was only complete and utter silence.

The music was lightly playing the the background. I didn’t know whether or not to open my mouth and apologize or just be quiet. My mind was leaning more towards to the second option.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated. I was thankful for any kind of distraction. It was a text message from Annie. Hey Carolina (:

I smiled at her. Its only been a small amount of time that I’ve known her, but it feels like we’ve been friends for a long while. She knows everything about me; everything besides my pregnancy that is.

Hello to you too little Annie (: I texted back to her.

I looked up at the sky and smiled. It was a pretty April day. April fools day had already happened and was over with. I was laughing about it though. The pranks and jokes were still hilarious.

Do you want to hang out at our spot? Annie asked. I looked at Kevin for a second as he harshly glared at the road.

I can’t right now. I'm on my way to see a doctor. I texted to her.

Almost instantly, Annie texted me back. What happened?!?! Are you okay?!?!

I rolled my eyes at her reaction. She always worried about people too much. It was good to feel that someone cared about me right now.

Everything is fine, Annie. Remember how I’ve been throwing up a lot lately? Well, I'm just going to see why that is. Hopefully, its just a little bug. I could imagine Annie letting out a huge sigh of relief after she had read what I wrote.

She was the only friend I had right now and I was very thankful for her. My phone then vibrated again. Oh, okay. I was freaking out a little bit. I hope that its just a bug too. I hope you get better soon. Do you think that you can hang out after?

Not bothering to ask Kevin, I replied back to Annie. Of course. Meet me at our spot in about an hour.

As soon as I looked up, we were in the parking lot of the doctor’s place. Kevin was out of the car and walking over to my door. Even though he was still mad at me, he was still a gentleman. I whispered an almost silent thank you.

When we got into the hospital, it was almost silent. The receptionist was typing on the computer and a few mothers were here with their kids. Kevin walked up to the receptionist and quietly began talking to her, while I sat down a picked up an old magazine.

Suddenly the automatic doors opened and in came a middle aged couple. The wife was panting and holding her over sized stomach. She pushed Kevin out of her was and yelled to the receptionist. “Get a doctor! I need these children out of me!”

She sat down in the wheelchair that her husband had brought to her.

“Suzie, you need to calm down.” Her husband said, taking hold of his wife’s hand.

“You’re actually telling me to calm down Patrick? You’re not going to be the one popping two kids out of you, now are you!” Suzie yelled. Everyone in the hospital was looking at her. I could tell the Patrick didn’t want her to make a scene. He was too late for that.

The receptionist calmly directed them to a room and then it became quiet again. Around five months later that would be happening to me as well. The thought made me kind of scared. I tried not to think about it hard.

Kevin handed me a clipboard with papers I needed to fill out.

One by one, I answered the questions and before I knew it was done. There was only Kevin and I in the waiting room right now.

“I’m sorry Kevin, please just speak to me. I don’t want to be alone during this pregnancy.” I said looking at him. Tears were threatening to fall down my face. I really hated these mood swings.

He looked at me for a second and then embraced me into a hug. “I’m the one that should be sorry. You were just angry at your situation and you didn’t mean what all you said.”

“Miss Noel, Dr. Randall is waiting for you.” the receptionist said with a small smile.

Walking slowly, Kevin and I finally made it to Dr. Randall’s. He greeted the two of us with a big smile on his older face.

“Carolina Genevieve Noel, its been too long since I’ve seen you. How is your mother doing?” I winced at the thought of my mother.

“She’s not so good. I haven't spoken to her in a long while. There’s been some family issues, so I'm staying with Nick’s older brother Kevin.” Kevin smiled smally at Dr. Randall.

Dr. Randall knew all about Nick and I; everything except for what happened on my birthday. I would see Dr. Randall every month. My parents were close personal friends with him.

“Oh really? Well, I'm so sorry to hear that. I bet Kevin is taking good care of you. So, whats the reason you’re here?” Dr. Randall asked. Kevin and I just looked at each other silently talking.

My palms were becoming sweaty and I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. “I’m around four months pregnant.”

It was better to rip the bandage off quickly than to slowly ease it off.

Dr. Randall looked at my with his eyes widened and then looked down at my stomach. He was trying to put two and two together, but he didn’t really want to. He repeated what I said to himself slowly.

“You’ve got to be kidding me Carolina. How could you let this happen?” Dr. Randall sounded just like my mother when we were at the pediatrician’s office.

“Well, I think you know.” I tried to joke, but no one was laughing in the room. “Okay whatever. I tried joking around, but it seems like that didn’t work. I love Nick a lot and I’m paying for what I did. Can you just check to see if the baby is okay?”

The look on Dr. Randall’s face was partially concerned, but there was still some disbelief. “Have you told Nick?”

Of course I knew I was going to be asked that question. The look I gave him told it all. He sighed at my answer.

Thirty minutes later, everything was done and over with. I was thankful for that. I was tired, but I knew I had to see Annie. That wouldn’t be fair to her to stand her up. “Goodbye Dr. Randall and thank you. It was nice seeing you again.”

Dr. Randall nodded his head at us then waved a goodbye. Kevin smiled at me.

“I’m really happy that you decided that you wanted the gender to be a surprise. That would have ruined the fun. I'm also proud of you for being so strong during this. You are a brave young girl Carolina Genevieve Noel.” I groaned at him.

“Gosh, I really wished that he hadn’t had said my middle name. I don’t like it that much.” I said to Kevin as we walked out of the hospital.

We both lightly laughed as we got into Kevin’s car. “Kevin? Do you think you could drive me to the park?” I asked him.

Kevin said that I could and we were silently on our way to the park.

Once we were there, I could see Annie sitting alone on the swings. She didn’t look very happy, but she probably wasn’t mad at me. She would probably be happy knowing that I wasn’t going to die any time soon. I mean I would be too.

“Call me when you want me to pick you up.” Kevin said as I was about to close the door. I smiled at him while shaking my head.

Annie looked up when she heard me coming closer. Once she saw me, she instantly stood up and wrapped me into an embrace. “Thank god you’re okay. I was becoming worried about you.”

This is one of the main reasons I loved her. She was the friend who actually cared and didn’t lie about caring about you.

“Yes, I am all right Annie. Its all okay. I just had a little case of the bug and the doctor said that it would be gone in the next two days.” Annie finally let go of me and smiled.

“Well, that is such a relief for me. Oh, while you were gone, I was thinking. Did you ever find out who wrote that poem for you?”

A light bulb went off in my head. I cant believe that I hadn't told her. It must have slipped my mind.

“Oh yeah. Do you know Craig Danvers?” Annie shook her head. “Well, that’s Darcy’s boyfriend and Darcy is my ex best friend.”

Annie’s eyes widened. “You are going to get in so much trouble by Darcy. She will try to make everyone hate you. I don’t want to see that happen to you. What are you going to do about that though?” she asked.

“I don’t really know what I’m going to do. I'm going to try to do nothing for as long as possible. Craig can like me all he wants. All I want though is Nick.” I said with a straight face. Knowing Darcy, there would be another cat fight very soon.

Suddenly, I looked at Annie and wanted to tell her the truth. There was a huge difference between Annie and Darcy. Darcy would end up having your secrets spread around the school; that why I never told her anything. I knew I could trust Annie though.

“Hey Annie?” I said, getting her attention. “I’ve been lying to you about something, but I want to tell you now because I feel like I can trust you.”

She just looked at me as if telling me to go on. “I’m pregnant.”

That made her eyes widen. Immediately after she had heard that though, a large smile made its way onto her face. she was happy for me; I could tell. For a second, I thought I had made the wrong decision, but I knew I hadn’t when Annie jumped up and down squealing.

She was the type of friend that I wanted to keep forever.