Show Me What I'm Looking For

The silence seemed too much to bear. My eyes were still focused on the window behind Principal Shepard. I didn’t know where exactly to start. A sigh escaped past my lips. He looked at my face and I looked everywhere but his.

“Carolina,” he said softly. “I want you to tell me what’s going on with you.”

Finally, I looked at his face. His expression was somber and his hands were placed lightly on the desk.

“I don’t know what to say or where to begin sir.” My eyes directed me to the picture of him and all of his kids. They all looked so happy that tears started to fall from my eyes.

Principal Sheppard handed me a tissue to wipe my tears away. “You can start from the beginning or you could summarize everything; that would be fine too.

My teeth were biting on my bottom lip so much that I could taste a little bit of blood. Acid quickly came up my throat, but I swallowed it.

“Well it started with my boyfriend and I, which caused me to become pregnant. Then Darcy started becoming her true self and here we are.” I knew I was leaving out a lot of details that were important, but I didn’t want to say them.

Sheppard nodded and placed his hand on his chin in thought. After a few seconds, he looked back at me with a sigh passing through his thin lips.

“I see,” he said, looking at me with sad eyes. “I heard from the front office about some things involving your sailor mouth.”

“Which I am really sorry about. Kevin was just being so insufferable. Sometimes he’s just so frustrating to me.” I said calmly.

Principal Sheppard looked at me with very curious eyes. “So you know Mr. Jonas personally?”

Would saying yes get both him and I in trouble? I had a feeling that it would so I just told him a little white lie. “No, not that personally; I see Kevin a lot in his office considering that I always need someone to talk to.”

Slowly, he nodded his head as if answering an unknown question to me.

“That’s understandable, how is your baby doing? I hope he or she is alright.” Principal Sheppard said.

“I’m about four months pregnant right at the moment.” An awkward silence filled the office.

Principal Sheppard looked at me with slightly widened eyes. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing; I didn’t blame him at all. If I were him, I would be just as flabbergasted.

“Tell me Carolina, what started the fight with Darcy.” A slight smile made its way onto my face. I imagined her squirming in fear under my punches.

A little laugh escaped my lips. It surprised me that Principal Sheppard hadn’t heard it; I was also thankful for that.

“Like I said before, Darcy is just not a nice person in general. She doesn’t care who she has to stomp on to get to the top. She’s always been like that. When I became pregnant, I realized what person she really was and it wasn’t enough to take over the old her.” I said, partially out of breath.

“Well,” Principal Sheppard said. “I want you and Darcy to just stay away from each other. I think that that would be the safest bet.”

Seriously? I was the one keeping my distance. She just came up to me. I wondered what lie Darcy would come up with to Principal Sheppard.

My mind was racing with ideas that I didn’t even hear him speak. “How are your parents?”

I froze in the chair, not knowing what to say. What could I really say? My whole family is a wreck and I don’t even know where my little brother is. “They’re fine.”

“Considering that your father is in jail is and your mother is in a center for substance abuse and that she went crazy, where are you staying?” there was another pause from my side of the conversation.

A knock on the door was just the savior I needed. When I saw is dark brown curly locks though, I felt exactly the opposite.

“Kevin, just the man I wanted to see.” Principal Sheppard said.

His eyes froze on my figure. Immediately, he went into a state of anger. It took a lot for him to try and hold it in; that much I could tell. Principal Shepard didn’t see through any of it.

A loud silence filled the room quickly. Shepard was still not phased by the tension in the room.

“Yes? Why would you like to see me?” Kevin said awkwardly, playing with his fingers. Shepard ushered Kevin to sit in the seat next to me. Hesitantly, he did what he was told to do.

“So I was talking to Miss Noel and she has informed me the two of you have been discussing some things for quite a long while.” Principal Shepard said with a smile on his face.

Kevin nodded his head with a tight smile forming on his lips. “That is completely true. Carolina and I have been trying to solve some of the problems in her life. There are still some things that we have to work on though.”

Shepard looked at the two of us with a pleased expression on his face. Both Kevin and I let out silent sighs of relief. He was buying it.

“That makes me very happy to know. I’m glad that you are staying strong throughout all of this.” I smiled at Principal Shepard and also thanked him. “You still need to face some consequences for your actions though?”

My face fell immediately. I knew he was just doing what was right, but I was still worried of what the consequences would be. My mind was conjuring up all these crazy ideas.

“I’m suspending you for the rest of this week.” My eyes widened. I didn’t think it would be that much. Four days without school for lightly beating another girl up.

I opened my mouth, but nothing seemed to come out. The look on Principal Shepard’s face seemed to serious to be joking with me. I couldn’t possibly believe my ears.

Kevin let out a large sigh. When I looked at him, he was looking at the window that I had been looking in a while ago. “What happened to get Carolina suspended for the rest of the week?”

Principal Shepard looked at me as if saying that I had to tell Kevin. Sighing, I said it in a little voice. “I beat up Darcy.”

Hastily, Kevin turned towards me with wide eyes. I looked everywhere but him; I was partially scared to see what he would do. After a few seconds, all he did was sigh and shake his head.

“Carolina, do you have a guardian to pick you up?” Principal Shepard asked. I nodded my head yes and we were all suddenly outside of his office and into the main one. “Have a Good rest of the week Carolina.”

When Principal Shepard left, it was just Kevin and I. He unlatched his house key from its holder and gave it to me. “I’ll talk to you about this whole thing later.” And then he was off.

A sigh escaped from my lips and I only saw a couple of people still in the cafeteria. This was going to be a long rest of the week.

[&&&]

When I got upstairs, I decided to get on my laptop. I mean there was nothing really else for me to do. A little noise from my laptop brought me out of my daze; it was from Nick.

Hey, what are you doing home? Aren't you supposed to still be in school? I laughed at what he wrote and quickly responded back.

Well, about that. There was a little incident at school. Immediately after that, I saw that Nick requested that we video chatted; I accepted it.

Seeing his face just made my heart fly, but also drop. I didn’t know how long I could go without seeing him and not telling him as well. All of this is just really hard to deal with. With Nick being gone, it is also easier hiding the fact that I am pregnant with his child. That was one of the only good things.

“Hello beautiful,” Nick said. A smile made its way onto my face. I shook my head. “You are just too cute for your own good Care.”

A blush rose onto my cheeks and I was feeling really embarrassed. “Please stop Nick. I don’t feel like making a fool of myself.”

“A fool? Carolina Genevieve Noel could never be named a fool.” I laughed at his remark, but used my hand as if shooing away what he had said.

“I’m serious Care and what did you do at school that’s made you come home early?” he asked.

I tried not to laugh again because I knew it was rude, but I just couldn’t help it. Darcy not knowing what to do was one of the funniest sights ever.

I didn’t know exactly what to say, so I just said what happened. “I got into a physical fight with my ex best friend and now I’m suspended from school for the rest of the week.”

Nick’s eyes widened and I partially wanted to laugh, but I knew it wouldn’t be the right time. “Oh my gosh, did you get hurt? Are you okay? You’re not injured, are you?”

Laughing at Nick made it seem like it was the old days again and I loved that feeling. He was so protective and loving that sometimes it was just too much to bear, but you still had to love him for that.

“Nick, calm down. I am perfectly fine. All she did was pull my hair. I was the one suspended, not her. I actually hit her in the face; many of times.” Nick’s eyes were still wide, like he couldn’t comprehend what I was saying.

He shook his head as if trying to get rid of that thought. “Wow, what did she do to you to make you go off like that? I mean I’ve only seen you go off once and that was on Joe.”

A quick silence passed through us. “I guess it was just all the things that she had done piling up on me. I had to get all the weight off my shoulders I guess.”

“That sounds actually kind of hot. I can imagine it right now.” I shook my head at Nick’s personal thoughts. He was such the typical guy. I loved him with all my heart and more.

Tears started to brim my eyes. I didn’t want Nick to see me cry, but it had already happened. His eyes widened and he tried to calm me down. God damn mood swings.

“Care, please don’t cry. Its only a few more months. I promise it will fly by quicker than you know it.” I shook my head as I just let the tears fall. “I know, I know. Its just so hard.”

Nick nodded his head in agreement. “It really is, trust me i know. We can make it through it though. I have to go, so I’ll try and get on tomorrow.”

I nodded my head and the screen turned back to normal. Curling into a fetal position, I just let myself cry and suddenly I was fast asleep.