Show Me What I'm Looking For

There was a large sigh filling the tight spaced car almost right on key. Kevin looked at the road with an almost heart breaking disappointed look on his face. I could tell that he was still thinking about our discussion earlier this week.

My eyes squinted slightly at the sun across and to the left of me. there was a noise coming from downstairs. The clock beside me read that it was almost three thirty. Also, the racket was making my head pound wildly.

Everything was aching; more than anything my heart was devastatingly ill, metaphorically speaking that is. I couldn’t that my life had done a one eighty in a matter of only four months. Why did this have to happen to me anyways? What did I do to deserve this?

“Carolina! Come down here right this moment!” my head was still pounding loudly inside of my body.

Another sigh passed through my lips. The tone of his voice told me that he wanted me to follow his direction now.

“Carolina! Carolina Genevieve Noel!” Kevin yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

It took a lot for me not to scream and fall onto my knees. Slowly, I got up from where I was and groaned. I did not feel up to any of this at the moment.

Once I made it down the stairs, Kevin looked at me with an exasperated expression. “It took you long enough little miss princess.!”

I looked at Kevin as if he were a totally new person and it felt like he actually was.

“Yes oh mightly ass, what would you like from me?” my mood wasn’t really rational, but Kevin’s attitude wasn’t helping either. I mean I understand where he is coming from, but did he also realize that I was slowly drowning in my own misery?

“What did you just say to me young lady?” I rolled my eyes at Kevin’s new sense of parenthood. He wasn’t my father and he sure couldn’t act like it.

The look on his face made me want to laugh hysterically. He neck and face were partially red as well as his ears. He looked like a dad stright out of a cartoon. I had to smile.

“What did you just say to me?” Kevin repeated once again.

This time I couldn’t keep the laugh from escaping past my lips. I was cracking up and I just couldn’t stop.

“I called you an ass. You’re getting mad at me when I didn’t really do anything.” My voice was sweet and then turned partially bitter.

“You didn’t do anything?” Kevin yelled. “You punched Darcy in the face a repeated amount of times. She was bleeding for twenty minutes and had bruises over her face. She came to me a wreck. I havent seen someone that broken before.”

My eyes were rolling from left to right and a scoff passed through my lips. Was he really saying all of this?

“Someone that broken? Have you looked at me lately? I am a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. Almost Every night I’m in my room crying, wishing for a better life.” I said as more tears had fallen down my face for today. “Nick is all the way across the world right now and wont be back for months.”

“That doesn’t make what you did either right or wrong though. You got into a physical fight Carolina! Also, I am sick and tired of you always talking about Nick! You never shut up! Why don’t you just grow some balls and tell him that you’re pregnant!” he yelled right to my face.

Silent tears rolled down my face and I let my head fall. I was glad that my hair could cover my whole face. Then I thought of something and picked my head up. “You’re a fucking asshole.”

Kevin’s eyes widened at my vulgar language. “I want you to give me your cell phone.”

“What?” his words confused me. why did he want me to give him my cell phone? The look on his face reminded me of my dad when he was mad at me.

“You heard me, give me your cell phone, I’am your guardian for the time being, so you are my responsibility. You’re grounded Carolina.” My eyes widened ten times out of its socket.

I couldn’t believe I was hearing this. Kevin was taking charge of me. He didn’t even have the right to do that, did he?

All he did was just stare at me. I groaned in frusteration and threw my phone across the room. Luckily, it landed on one of the couches. As soon as it landed on the couch, I ran up the stairs and into my room. This was all becoming stupid.

No words had been exchanged between Kevin and I since Monday. I liked the silence and solitude, but what I didn’t like was the fact that he was still mad at me.

Kevin slammed the car door, bringing me out of my thoughts. Sighing loudly, I opened the door and started walking.

People couldn’t take their eyes off of me and my body. I was hoping that people were over and done with the fight by now. All I wanted was for everything to ease down.

Annie walked beside me with a smile on her face. I was glad and very thankful for her. Without Annie, I would probably have been more depressed than imaginable. “Hey, whats up?”

“Nothing much really, its been lonely without you here. Nobody would stop talking about the fight between you and Darcy. People are still talking about it now. She looked so horrible. Her face was so bruised on Tuesday. Plus, I tried calling your cell phone a couple of times, but I got no answer.” Annie replied.

“Seriously? I thought it would be done and over with by now. Yeah, I’m grounded and got my phone taken away though. Luckily I knew where it was hidden. I’ve been able to talk to Nick a little more than before now and as for your phone calls you call me when I don’t have my phone.” Which wasn’t a lie. I had talked to Nick about four times on video chat and about ten hours total on my phone.

Annie smiled, but it didn’t reach to her eyes. I had a feeling I knew what she was thinking and about to say. She looked at me and I looked at her and sighed. She wouldn’t bring it up right now.

When I entered the school, everyone’s eyes were souly on me. I was becoming overwhelmed with the attention. People were walking around me trying to be inconspicious and congragualting me for beating up Darcy; most of the people I didn’t even know.

After a few minutes, I got tired of the attention and walked away from it all and to the library.

It was silent and that’s what I had always enjoyed about libraries. You could get caught up so quickly in a book and dream up something that was unlike no other. Slowly, I opened the door and a fresh wave of normalicy filled my path.

Smiling at Mr Towers, I grabbed a random book. This was the place that seemed only sane. A few minutes later there was a tap on my shoulder. I looked at the boy behind me with an eyebrow raised. “May I help you?”

The guy smiled and laughed a hardy laugh. His blonde shaggy hair was moving slightly; I smiled at him.

“I just wanted to say that it was really awesome of you to give Darcy what she deserved. She needed a reality check and it had to be her former best friend to do it. You put up with her even when she needed to be dealt with otherwise. She broke my heart and you doing that made it a little easier.” The boy said to me.

Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with all of these emotions and I didn’t know what to do at this point. “You’re welcome.”

The boy nodded his head and then walked away from me. quicky, I got up from where I was sitting and walked over to put the book up. I was ready to get out of there. As soon as I did a sweep of people brought me back to the reality I had to face.