Show Me What I'm Looking For

“So what your saying is that you had sex with Nick, your pregnant, and your parents are in a big fight because of it?” My head hung low as I nodded. I didn’t even need to look up to hear the sound of disappointment in his sigh.

“Kevin, you’re the only person I can turn to right now that wont judge me or leave me out in the cold.” Tears were flowing down my face quickly but I didn’t have enough mental and physical strength to wipe them away.

Kevin then stood up and wrapped his arms around my soon to be big waist. It felt different than being in Nick’s arms but a good kind of different. Comforting in a way; like a big brother I never had.

“You look pretty tired. You should really get some rest. School starts back up soon. I’ll show you to the guest room in a second, care.” He said.

“What did you call me?” I questioned him. My voice was just below a whisper. He didn’t hear me though, only Nick had ever called me that.

Speaking of Nick I opened up my phone to see that I had one new voice message. I decided to listen to it.

“Hey care, it’s Nick but I guess you already knew that. I just called to see what your doing and I wanted to know what’s up with you because you haven’t been answering my calls and I’m worried about you. Well I got to go. I’ll talk to you later I quess. Love you Carolina. Forever in eternity.” Then it was over.

More tears were falling down my face. I felt bad. I knew I was avoiding Nick, but was it good to do this? Would I just end up wrecking the whole relationship. I mean relationships are mainly based on honesty and trust and if you don’t follow those then you have nothing. And I was keeping one of the biggest secrets you could keep from a person.

Kevin came back into the room and showed me to his guest room. It looked really nice; elegant and simple. Just the way I liked it.

He handed me a pair of his pajamas and told me all that was needed and left me in peace. I snuggled deep into the covers and drifted into what would become a bad nightmare.

[&&&] Kevin’s Point of view [&&&]

I didn’t know what to feel right at the moment now. The girl I love is pregnant with my brother’s child which she was in love with. It was so fucking complicated.

I turned on the television as a distraction for all my thoughts. Just thinking about the situation made me crazy. If only Nick knew what was happening to Carolina. I highly doubted that she was going to tell him though.

Thre was a loud sob coming from up stairs. Suddenly I was running up to comfort her. Her whole body was twitching voilently. She was screaming out random things so quickly that I couldn’t even understand her. I grabbed her shoulders to make her stop from twiching and it worked.

Her eyes widened when she saw me. Tears were falling from her face quickly. She looked away from me toward the window. Neither one of us spoke a word. Maybe we were afaid that if we did that something would be said that didn’t want to be.

Then Carolina stood up and ran a hand through her tangled hair and layed back down.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered directly to me.

I shook my head slowly and wrapped my arm around her slender shoulders. It made me worry about her. What would happen when this thing that was inside of her came out?

“It’s okay.” I had to comfort her. She was in so much pain from everything that was happening to her. It was a lot to take in for a girl of her young age.

“You need to tell him.” I had to break the silence, she stiffened. She shook her head violently.

“No.” That was all she said. Her voice was in monotone which made me nervous. “I can’t do that Kevin.”

“If you don’t do it I will and I have a pretty big feeling that he wouldn’t like that.” She looked into my eyes and sighed.

Her mouth opened then closed again. She ran her tiny hand through her hair again.

“Please don’t do that.” Her facial expression reminded me of a little child getting distraut. I tried standing up but there was a pulling at the end of my wrist. Care looked at me.

“Don’t go,” She whispered slowly. Its was painful for me to see her like this. She is always high spirted and whenever she is down it makes me feel down. I could feel her gaze at my face but when I looked at her she was looking at the sheets.

Suddenly I heard the soft sound of her breathing which caused me to slowly fade into a slumber.

[&&&]

when I awoke Carolina’s arm was around my chest. The moment felt so right but wrong at the same time. My phone then started ringing from downstairs. I slowly got up and went to go get it. I answered it withough even looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” I said breathlessly.

“Hey Kevin, whats up.” I froze. Nick was talking but I couldn’t hear him.

“You okay.” He asked me again. This was bad, really bad.

“Yeah I’m fine just kind of distracted, that’s all.” I brought my free hand to my right temple and rubbed it.

“You want to talk about it.” Nick said with concern.

“No thank you.” I said to quickly. I could mentally see Nick raising one eyebrow. Just then Carolina care down the stairs rubbing her eyes.

“So how are you?” I asked him smoothly.

“Stressed; I mean with all the shows and stuff but mainly with Carolina. I have no idea whats up with her. She’s ignoring my calls and texts. Its driving me insane. Am I doing something wrong?!” He was shouting by the end. Carolina even lost her balance for a second.

“I’m sure that everything will work out.” It wasn’t a total lie, I guess.

“I really hope so.” Sighing, he ended the phone call first.

When I looked at Care her eyes were fixated on the beige carpet. My fingers slowly made there way to her chin. I lifted it up to see her beautiful brown eyes.

“You need to talk to him.” I said authoritativly. Her eyes closed again and she sighed.

She then took out her cell phone from my pajama pocket and dialed Nick’s number and put it on speaker.

“Hello?” Nicks voice filled the quiet room and then there was a long pause.