Your Love Will Be Safe With Me

Watching Nick say goodbye to Braintree was one of the hardest things I’d ever witnessed. I felt terrible because he was moving out to LA for me. I kept thinking that maybe I should have been the one moving out to Braintree. But before I could do anything we were sitting at our gate, waiting for our flight to Phoenix to be called.

Nick sighed heavily as we sat. I looked at him, upset with myself for letting him talk me into moving him out to California. Sensing my gaze on him, he looked up at me. “Why do you look so sad?” He asked with a hint of a smile.

“Because I’m a terrible person.”

His brow furrowed in confusion, “How are you a terrible person?”

I sighed sadly, “Because I’m practically pulling you away from your family. It’s all my fault.”

He chuckled then took my hand in his. Why was he laughing? Couldn’t he see I was feeling like crap? “Sawyer, you’re not pulling me away from my family. I go where you go.”

I groaned, “Exactly. Why are we going to LA? My family isn’t there. They’re in Arizona! This is why we should just move here.”

He shook his head, “No.” My expression fell to one of pain, “Stop.” He said. “Wanna know what’s in LA? Hanley, your best friend, is in LA. Your job is in LA. Your family is close to LA. Your school is also close to LA which you’re going to, I’m not taking no for an answer.” I went to object, but he cut me off by putting his hand over my mouth, “Stop. Stop worrying about me. I’ll be fine. After every tour I’ll go back to see them.” He mulled it over in his head, “Okay, probably not every tour, but the really long ones.” He smiled at me, “So stop worrying your pretty little head about where I want to live. I want to live with you where you’re most comfortable because like it or not, I’m only going to be there a couple months out of the year.” He removed his hand and I sighed.

“Okay.” I said sullenly causing him to grown.

“Don’t you dare be sad our whole trip to Arizona. You’re going to see your parents! You should be happy.”

I tried to smile, but it just came out looking like a grimace, “I promise that by the time we take off I’ll feel better.” He nodded then pulled me into a hug even though there was a bar between us.
---
Like on the way to Boston, we had a layover in Chicago at Midway airport. I bought a few magazines at one of the stores and quietly looked through them as Nick sat next to me, playing some game on his iPhone. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him lean back in his chair and turn his attention to me. I glanced at him and smiled, which he returned, then went back to reading about the dramatic lives of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson (yeah, okay).

“How do you feel about having kids?” He asked.

My mind slowed to a stop and then was wiped clean. I couldn’t remember how to talk. I stared blankly at him before finally stuttering out a “What?”

“I was thinking on the flight here about us. I mean, we’re not going to live with Hanley forever. We could live in a house outside of LA with a dog and a few kids. I can picture it: white picket fence, blue shutters, pool in the backyard with a slide.” He smiled to himself.

Stunned would be putting my reaction lightly, “U-u-uhm, well, I never really thought about it.” I shook my head quickly as I pressed my hand to my forehead and squeezed my eyes shut, “I mean, I have thought about it, just not the kids part. As far as I’ve thought was moving out of the apartment, but not kids.”

He frowned, “Why not?”

I was thrown off by everything he was saying, “Why not?” I let out a small scoff, “Well I never really saw myself having kids.”

His frown deepened, “What? Why?”

I let out an airy laugh and shook my head, “I am not mother material.” I said. “Dealing with Kelie and Charlie growing up put any thought about kids out of my mind.”

“Why, though? They can’t be that bad.”

I stared at him. What was he not getting? “They’re the only kids I’ve ever really been around and they’re both the biggest brats ever.”

“They’re just kids”

“Exactly.”

“So, you’re telling me that you don’t want a mini you or a mini me running around?” I knew he was trying to get me to change my mind.

“Nick, I’m eighteen. Ask me in six years.”

He sighed, “I bet you’ll change your mind.”

I shrugged, “Maybe. I mean, if I get pregnant then I get pregnant, but I don’t have plans of getting pregnant.”

He nodded, “Fair enough.” He said then went back to paying games on his phone.

I continued to look at him, trying to figure out if he was upset or not. He didn’t look upset. Figuring he was okay, I went back to reading the magazine in my lap. I couldn’t believe he had asked me that out of the blue. We’d only been married for five months. Hell, we’d only been together for five months. Plus, we were still young.
---
When we landed in Phoenix, it was about four in the afternoon and ninety degrees out. Going from humid seventy degree weather to dry ninety degree weather was something I wouldn’t want to do all the time.

My ring was hanging from my neck on the chain with the teal one, leaving my left hand care and weird feeling; I would usually play with it when I was nervous. At that moment, I was nervous. My parents were sitting by baggage claim when we got there. I engulfed them into hugs and told them how much I missed them then they greeted Nick. My dad shook his hand and my mom just said a nice polite “Hi.”

I groaned when we stepped outside, away from air conditioning. I did not miss Arizona’s weather. My dad’s truck was parked on the top tier of the parking structure, so that meant we had to be stuck in the horrible weather and try and fit all of us and four suitcases into an elevator.

“Jesus, Sawyer, how much did you pack?” My dad asked as we lugged it across the parking lot.

“Hey,” I said, “I only have one bag. The rest are Nick’s.” My parents looked at him with the eyebrows raised.

“We’re moving my stuff out to LA and this was all I could get.” He tried to explain.

“Oh, so you’re moving out to LA? Do you have a place?” My dad asked.

Nick looked at me briefly before looked back at my parents, “Well, actually, I’m moving in with Sawyer and Hanley.”

They both turned and looked at me. I smiled innocently. “Oh really?” My mother said to Nick, but kept looked at me.

No one said anything after that. We put our bags in the bed of my dad’s F-350 and got in. The ride to Parker was mostly silent. I could tell just by how Nick was sitting he felt awkward. I inwardly sighed at the situation.

About thirty minutes into the drive, my parents began asking questions about how the trip was. Questions like how his family treated me and what Massachusetts was like. I didn’t dare tell them about my encounter with the psycho in the Cheesecake Factory parking lot. My dad started cracking jokes an hour into it, so I knew he was beginning to lighten up.

I had a room at my parent’s hose. Their house sat on a hill in North Parker and from their front yard you could see the river. Even though it was so dry they still had grass in their front yard and a patch of it next to their swimming pool in their backyard. I was almost positive they had the most tropical house in all of Parker.

To get to Parker, you have to drive through a lot of empty desert and lonely highways. Every so often we’d roll through a town and less than a mile we were out of it. When I saw this place was in the middle of nowhere, I wasn’t kidding.

My room at their house, though, was kind of plain and most of my childhood was stuffed away inside. The walls were just plain white and my comforter was a light green color. A lot of my old clothes were hidden In the closet and dresser drawers. Those things I didn’t want in my life anymore. I didn’t know why they didn’t throw them out or give them to Good Will.

We just piled our bags into the corner by the fan. Nick stared at me visibly sweating.

“What?” I asked.

“It is so fucking hot here.”

I laughed, “Oh, I know. My parents are insane for living here year round.”:

He shook his head, “I don’t think it gets this hot at Halvo’s place.”

I laughed again, “Winters are insanely freezing, too.”

He groaned, “Good God.” I giggled then turned on the fan, causing Nick to sigh happily as it hit his back. “Oh. Oh yeah. That is much better.”

I chuckled and shook my head then laid down on the full sized bed. “I am so tired.” I complained.

Nick took the spot next to me, “Take a nap.”

I shook my head, “I can’t; dinner is in like twenty minutes.”

Nick lifted his head and looked at the purple alarm clock on the nightstand. “It’s like five.”

“My parents eat early. It could be because everything closes early around here, though.”

He groaned, “Are you kidding me?”

I sat up and gently slapped him on the stomach, “Nope. Now come on.” I bounced up off of the bed while he trudged himself up and followed behind, dragging his feet.

We ended up eating at the Mexican food place on the main street. The street had a Safe-Way grocery store, Wal-Mart, thrift store, a couple of fast food places (when I saw a couple I mean a Burger King, KFC, and Jack-In-The-Box), and a Sears Appliances the size of a small house. Nothing ever got busy.

Nick and I had planned on telling them that night, but I chickened out before I could get it out.

“What was that?” Nick asked me when we got back to the house and to my room.

“I-I-I-I don’t know.” I stammered. “I-I-I’m just not ready, yet.” He looked at me in disproval “I promise.” He sighed, breaking his angry stare, “I just don’t want to push them. They’re going to get mad, I know it. I don’t want to see that yet. I don’t want them to be upset with me on our first night here.”

He nodded showing that he understood, “Okay.” He said then opened his arms, “Come here.” I shuffled the couple of feet over to him and he wrapped his arms around me.

“I love you.” I said in a sad voice.

“I love you, too.” He said then kissed the top of my head.

“Since you love me, you wouldn’t mind scratching my back would you?” I asked helplessly.

“No.” He said in my ear. “If you scratch, it’ll scab and become scars.”

I whine and pushed him away, “This sucks!” I yelled, “I’m hot and sticky and gross feeling. I have welts all over my body and I have a bruise in the shape of a hand on my arm.” I stomped my foot childishly.

Nick looked at me in amusement, “You done?” He asked while I pouted then nodded my head. “Okay. Now since you’re so hot and sticky maybe we should go hop in the pool in the backyard.”

Still pouting, I nodded, “Okay.”

He chuckled and leaned down to press his lips to mine in a sweet kiss, “You’re cute, you know that?”

I looked up at him, still pouting, “Yeah, well.”

We got our bathing suits on and went downstairs. My mom was on the computer while my dad roamed around somewhere. I had a feeling he was in the garage/his office.

“What are you guys doing?” She asked, hardly looking away from her game.

“We’re just going to go swimming because it’s hot.” I answered.

She finally looked at us and gasped, “What is all over your body?!” She exclaimed “And where did you get that bruise from?!” Her eyes immediately landed on Nick.

My eyes widened, she though Nick had hurt me, “No! No, no! Nick didn’t do this, well he’s to blame for the welts and the rash because he washed my clothes in Tide, but the bruise is from this… guy.” I said unconvincingly. “I had a little run in with some guy in the parking lot of Cheesecake Factory, but Nick saved me before something terrible happened.” I explained.

She looked at us once more before we awkwardly scuffled out of the room and through the back door. “Your mom scares me.” Nick said once the door was shut.

I couldn’t help but to laugh, “Yeah, that’s usually what happens.”