Your Love Will Be Safe With Me

In the Thomas household, we didn’t eat breakfast unless we went out. We really didn’t do much cooking. My mom said it was because it was easier to go out when it was just her and my dad, which was understandable.

My parents wanted to ride my dad’s Harley to breakfast because it was a cool morning, so they handed me over the keys to what my dad liked to call “Lucille.” All it was, really, was a white 1997 Jeep Cherokee. I learned how to drive in that car and it was mine whenever I was in town. The problem was, I could barely get in it since he put a lift kit on it and I had some really short legs.

Breakfast was uneventful. We talked about how my parents were planning on going to California the upcoming weekend, so we wouldn’t need to fly into LAX, we just needed a ride into LA.

When we got back, I was standing next to the bike as it roared and echoed in the garage, playing with the keys in my hand. Nick was silent a little ways behind me. Right when the motor turned off I sighed, “Mom, Dad.” I said as I looked up at them. They both looked at me briefly before going back to taking their helmets off. “There’s something I need to tell you.” They looked at me expectantly, but I looked down at the keys again, “Nick and I,” I sighed in annoyance because I couldn’t just get it out. “We got married.” It fell out of my mouth in a fast jumble of syllables, but I knew they understood me.

“You did what?!” My dad yelled. When my dad got angry, he got angry.

I looked at him in fear, “W-w-we got married.”

“When?!” My mother yelled now. They both looked so angry.

“J-J-January.” I swallowed the saliva that had built up in my mouth from how nervous I was. “Oh my birthday.”

They both looked at me in disbelief. “How fucking irresponsible are you, Sawyer?” My dad yelled, “Huh?! You go out to Vegas and marry the first guy you see?” He shook his head.

Nick’s hands were on my shoulders as my eyes welled up with tears.

“What, did this guy sweet talk you into bed then get you to say “I do?”” I looked down as the tears began to stream down my face, “Jesus Christ, Sawyer, how fucking stupid are you? You married a guy in a band and you didn’t even known him. What, are you going to tell us you’re pregnant next? Or did you already have the baby and are waiting for the right moment to tell us?

I looked up at him, “No!” I screeched in disbelief. “I love Nick.” He rolled his eyes and scoffed, “He loves me.” He shook his head, “We’re happy and we’re making this work. There’s nothing you can do, okay?! So stop being such a complete asshole and be happy that I found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.” And with that I turned on my heel and stalked over to the Jeep. Nick quickly followed and got in the passenger’s seat.

“Where are you going?!” My mom yelled. Funny how she was showing concern.

“Away from here!” I yelled back and slammed the door. Once I started the engine, I pulled out of the driveway quickly and sped off down the street, leaving a trail of dust behind us.
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I was too angry to talk, so instead I blasted the radio (Alt. Nation) so I had a reason not to. “I Know What I Am” by Band of Skulls was blaring when Nick finally turned it down. I didn’t look at him.

“Sawyer, you need to slow down. You’re going ninety in a sixty zone.” I glanced down at the dashboard and saw that he was right, so I released my foot from the gas pedal. “Now, where are we going?” He asked once we had slowed down considerably.

I pushed my bangs back and shrugged, “I don’t know.”

I knew he was staring at me , “Well, do you want to go into Tempe and see Halvo and the guys from The Maine? That might take your mind off of things.”

I nodded and kept driving until we hit Phoenix, where we stopped and got gas. I was leaning against the car, waiting for the gas to stop pumping. Nick was standing next to me, eating a bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos. It was ninety-five degrees out, but the wind was blowing warm air.

“I can’t believe my father practically called me a whore.” Nick stopped chewing and completely froze as he processed what I had just said. “I mean, I knew he was going to be mad, but geez, he didn’t have to call me a whore.” I shook my head in disbelief and scoffed.

“He really had no right. What kind of father calls their own daughter a whore?” I looked at him, curious about what he was going to say next, “You are definitely not a whore. In fact, you’re the furthest thing from a whore!” He exclaimed, “You’ve only had sex twice!”

I rolled my eyes then removed the hose from the side of the car, “Get in the car, Nick.” I said in a tired voice.

He looked at me blankly, “What? Did I say something wrong?”

I walked passed him and opened the door, “Just get in the car.”

Nick told me to go straight to Max’s house and told me the directions. I guess it was where everyone congregated and where him and Justin stayed while they were in Arizona at the beginning of the year.

I was still in a quiet mood when we got there. As I twirled my wedding ring around my finger, Kennedy answered the door looking a bit surprised. He greeted us happily and in shock. I mustered up a small smile and said a quiet “Hi.” then he lead us into the living room where John, Halvo, Max, and Garrett were battling it out on XBOX. Profanities and insults were being thrown around like nothing. They wouldn’t take their eyes off the screen for anything. After some rapid button pressing and gritted teeth, John, Max, and Halvo dropped their controllers in defeat while Garrett jumped up and yelled in happiness.

“Oh!” Halvo exclaimed when he finally saw us, “Nick! Sawyer!” And just like that all eyes were on us.

“What are you guys doing here? I thought you were in Braintree or something.” John asked.

“Oh, we were.” Nick walked further into the living room and I followed, “We just got in yesterday.” He said then sat down on the loveseat, making room for me to sit next to him.

“Oh, that’s right, Sawyer’s parents live in Parker.” Halvo said.

I was too wrapped up in my thoughts to really pay attention to anything they said after that. I kept thinking about what my dad had said to me. It ran through my head over and over. I’m not going to lie, it really tore me up.

“Sawy,” Nick said as he nudged me.

I snapped my head up in his direction, “Hmm?” I asked stupidly. Everyone was watching me.

“First, what’s with the bruise on your arm? Second, what’s got you so distant?” Garrett asked.

I cleared my throat, “Oh. Uhm, I had a run in with a creep in Braintree. He was holding onto my arm too tight.” I said quietly.

“What’s going on Sawyer? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a smile.” Kennedy said.

I sighed and looked at Nick. “Uh, well we have something to tell you guys, first.” He said and they all looked at him curiously. “Minus Halvo because he already knows.” Realization spread across Eric’s face and he leaned back into the couch. “While we were in Vegas back in January, we got married.”

It didn’t take long for it to sink in with everyone in the room.

“Congats Man, I’m glad for you.” Kennedy said as he patted Nick on the back.

“Yeah, congratulations guys. When you know you know, right?” Garrett said with a slight smile.

I smiled weakly at them. At least they understood.

“How does this have to do with why Sawyer is so quiet?” Max asked.

Nick cleared his throat, “Well, we were in Braintree telling my parents and they were a little rough on her. Well my mom and Michelle more than my dad.”

I sighed and leaned back in the chair. Why was he beating around the bush? “We told my parents and my dad called me a whore.” I said with no emotion. The five of them stared at me, slightly dumbfounded. “He said that I married the first guy I saw after he sweet talked me into bed. He called me irresponsible and stupid and accused me of being pregnant.” I laughed sarcastically, “No, wait, he took that back and asked me if I already had the baby.” I rolled my eyes, “He was so mad.” I said softly. “I disappointed him yet again. My life is just full of disappointment.” I put my hand over my eyes and rubbed my temples.

“Sawyer,” Nick said from next to me. His hand was placed gently on my leg. “You are not a disappointment.” He said sternly. “You’re talented and beautiful. Stop putting yourself down.”

I shook my head, “I’m not talented. All I have going for me is a camera because I can’t do anything else. Hell, I can’t even take a picture well. And I’m not beautiful. I’ll always be that self conscious fat girl inside.” I ranted. I was on the verge of tears again. I hated crying in front of people.

Nick grabbed my hand and pulled me up off of the couch, “Excuse us.” He said as I whined. He pulled on my hand until we made it into the backyard. The heat was worse with the afternoon sun.

Right when the back door shut, I broke down and started crying. Nick immediately pulled me into his arms and held me, “Hey, shh, Babygirl, everything will be fine. I’m here, okay?”

I sobbed into his v-neck, “I just hate being such a disappointment to everyone.” I cried as I pulled away from his chest.

He held my head gently in his rough hands and wiped away my tears with his thumbs, “You aren’t a disappointment to me. To me, you’re incredible. You’re funny, beautiful, smart, gorgeous, genuine. You’re amazing and I love you. Never forget that.” I let out a strangled sob as he leaned down and planted a tender kiss on my forehead.

“May sucks. This whole month has just been pure shit.” I said then sniffed.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me to his chest again, “When we get home we’re just going to sit in our room and lounge around until Warped Tour.”

I laughed, “That sounds like such an amazing idea.” The way Nick could just make my troubles go away like that really made me love him even more.

We ended up staying the night in Tempe with everyone. We stayed up eating pizza and playing video games. I was feeling much better after Nick talked to me outside. They were all making me laugh like I had never laughed before.