When I Look At You

“So, did you decide where you want to take Nick on this surprise birthday weekend?” Joe asked as he and Faith browsed one of the stores at the mall.

“I’m thinking a spa out in Houston. They have a great couple’s package and he’s been so stressed lately working on the album that I think it would be nice for him to be able to get away and relax.” She said, staring intently at the watches at the display case in front of her. “Plus, it would be nice to spend time together where we’re both awake. I’m always asleep when he comes back and gone before he wakes up. It’s really depressing.”

“Yeah,” Joe said quietly.

“I was wondering if you could do me a favor.” She said, leading him towards the clothing section.

“You mean besides helping you shop?” he asked with a laugh, picking up a horrendous sweater and smiling at the disgusted face Faith made.

“Well, yes. Thank you by the way, I’m terrible with presents.” She said, flipping through some shirts hanging on a rack.

“I wouldn’t say terrible. What you gave me for my birthday was pretty awesome.” He said and he saw her blush.

“Well that was partly Nick.” She lied, biting her lip. “But seriously, my request.”

“Yes, go on.”

“Could you please convince Nick to take the weekend off somehow? I tried but he won’t do it but you’re his brother. He’ll listen to you.” she said and Joe felt a pang of jealousy in his stomach. He wanted to be the one to go on the weekend trip with Faith.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you so much! You’re the best.” she exclaimed, reaching up and kissing his cheek.
She turned to continue looking around the store and Joe let out a sigh. He wished she wouldn’t do that. He wished she wouldn’t make him feel that way. She didn’t know how much he really loved her and how she was slowly and gently breaking him.

****

“Hey, John.” Joe said, walking into the studio. John turned around and smiled at Joe who took a seat next to him. Joe watched through the window where Nick stood in the booth recording the voice track for one of the new songs.

“Hey, Joe, what’s up?”

“I have to talk to Nick.” Joe said, nodding his head toward the window.

“He’s almost done. About a minute left.” John said and Joe nodded his head. In his mind he pieced together what he was going to say to Nick when it was time.

“Hey, Joe.” Nick said, taking John’s empty seat next to him. Joe looked up surprised to see John gone and Nick in his place.

“Oh, hey. I didn’t realize you had finished.”

“Yeah, John told me you wanted to talk to me.”

“Yeah… you know. You’ve been working really hard these past few months. The only time you took off was for the wedding and the honeymoon.”

“Yeah and they kind of set me back.” He said looking up at Joe whose eyes widened. “But it was worth it. Those were some of the best days of my life.”

“Okay well… maybe you should take this weekend off.” Joe suggested, playing with a pen on the desk next to him.

“Why?”

“Because it’s your birthday and all.”

“Oh… halfway through September already?” Nick asked surprised.

“Yeah. Imagine that. Time passing and you don’t notice a thing.” Joe said sarcastically.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Joe?” Nick asked, sharply turning his head.

“It means… if you don’t even know that your birthday is in a few days, what will happen when Faith’s birthday comes around? Will you forget? You need to take a break.” He said, emphasizing the last six words.

“That would never happen. I’d never forget Faith’s birthday.” Nick said sternly.

“But you don’t know that. You could forget, Nick. You forgot your own damn birthday.”

“So what? It’s not important to me.”

“That’s not how you acted last year or the year before or any year before. You were always excited when your birthday rolled around.”

“Things change, Joe. I have more important things to worry about.”

“Like your wife?” Joe asked loudly and Nick stared at him in shock.

“What?”

“Nick, you’ve been ignoring Faith. You barely spend time together. When you’re not at home you’re here. She’s always left waiting for you.”

“You don’t know anything about our life.” Nick shouted.

“Oh, I don’t, do I?” Joe shouted back.

“What the fuck are you saying, Joe?” Nick exclaimed, standing up, the chair rolling backwards from his anger. Joe sighed and relaxed in his chair.

“Nothing. You’re right. I don’t know what I’m talking about.” He said and Nick slowly calmed down. He retrieved the chair and sat down again. “But I do know this…”

“And…?”

“I’m telling you to take the weekend off as a favor to Faith. She wants to surprise you and take you away somewhere for the weekend so you can have time away from work and away from any stress.”

“She does?” Nick asked surprised.

“Yes.” Joe sighed. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you. You have to act surprised. So will you do it?”

“Of course.” Nick said.

“Good. I’m done here.” Joe said, standing up. “See you at the party.”

He turned and left the studio. Nick sat in his chair, staring after his brother. As Joe walked out the front door he couldn’t understand why Faith had chosen Nick. He loved his brother, he really did, but this wasn’t right. This marriage… the way he treated Faith. None of it was right. He wanted things to be different. He wanted Faith to be his.

****

Joe sat on his couch facing the digital clock on the DVD player. He watched as the time changed from 6:32 to 6:33 as he twirled his car keys on his finger. He had two choices. Either go to the party or stay home… even though staying home would disappoint his parents. If he went to the party he’d get to see Faith. He’d also get to see Faith showing her love towards Nick. If he stayed home he would be all alone and be bored to death. The clock changed to 6:34 and he let out a sigh, standing up from the couch.

“I’ll go… but I won’t like it.” he said, locking the door behind him and heading to the elevator.

The lights on the streets were like blurs to him as he drove the too familiar path to Faith and Nick’s house. Pulling into the driveway he figured he was the last one to arrive which made sense since the party started at six. Slowly he climbed out of the car and made his way to the front door. His hand hovered over the doorknob contemplating over whether or not to let himself in when all of a sudden the door opened.

“Mom’s been wondering where you were.” Frankie said as Joe walked inside and kicked
his shoes off.

“How did you know I was there?”

“I saw your car pull up. Nick’s looking for you.” Frankie said, pointing his thumb toward the kitchen.

Joe looked over and saw Nick’s arm wrapped around Faith’s waist as she talked to Kevin and Danielle. Nick looked over and raised his other hand in a wave when he saw Joe. He whispered something in Faith’s ear and she looked over at Joe and smiled. Nick leaned down and kissed her forehead before excusing himself from the kitchen. Frankie walked into the living room leaving Joe to wait for Nick’s company.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d show.” Nick said putting a hand on Joe’s shoulder.

“I’d never miss my little brother’s birthday.” Joe said, giving Nick a fake smile. “What’s up? Frankie said you were looking for me.”

“Yeah, I just wanted you to know I cleared Saturday and Sunday for this weekend trip thing so it’s all good.” Nick said and Joe sighed. “What?”

“I guess you didn’t realize that weekend means Friday night too.”

“We’re leaving tomorrow?” Nick asked, his voice getting louder. He looked around before turning back to Joe. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I figured you knew.” Joe said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Shit.” Nick said, putting a hand over his face.

“You’re still going right?” Joe asked sternly.

“Well yeah, I don’t want to disappoint Faith. I have to call John real quick. If Faith asks where I am tell her I’m in the bathroom.” Nick said, taking the stairs two at a time.

“No problem.” Joe muttered, looking from the stairs to the kitchen to see Faith walking toward him, a smile on her face. He cleared his throat and smiled back.

“There you are.” She said, reaching an arm out and wrapping it around his neck for a hug. “Nick told me last night that he’s taking the weekend off because you suggested that he take a small break. Thank you.”

“Anytime.” He said softly as she placed a kiss on his cheek. Thudding from the stairs turned his attention away from his thoughts to see Nick coming back down.

“So, is it time for cake?” Nick asked jubilantly, wrapping his arm around Faith’s waist.

“I figured you’d want presents first.” She said, putting a hand on his chest and Joe looked away, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“I don’t care.” Nick shrugged.

“Hm… okay presents it is.” She said giggling and placing a kiss on his lips. Joe walked into the living room and sat on the couch next to Danielle.

“Well hello, Joseph.” She said, messing up his hair.

“Dani!” he said in a frustrated tone. “Not now, please.”

“What’s got your panties in a bunch?” she asked, leaning into Kevin’s chest.

“Nothing.” Joe said, glancing up at Faith as she bounced into the room holding a thick envelope behind her back. Danielle followed his gaze to Faith before looking back at Joe. He caught her eye and looked at the floor.

“Open mine first, babe.” Faith said, standing behind the chair Nick was sitting in. He took the envelope and let it sit on his lap for a moment.

“This better not be taxes.” He joked, ripping open the flap. “Oh, wow. We’re going to a spa?”

“Yeah!” she said excitedly, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I asked Joe to say something to get you to take the weekend off so we could go. Are you surprised?”

“Very! I can’t wait to go. This is going to be so romantic.” He said, placing a hand on her arm and capturing her lips in his. Joe leaned back against the couch cushions and closed his eyes.

“You okay, Joe?” Kevin whispered behind Danielle’s head. She turned her gaze to Joe and he opened his eyes to see hers filled with something. Sympathy?

“I’m fine. Just tired.” He lied. Kevin shrugged and turned his attention back to Nick but Danielle kept her eyes on Joe. Joe held her gaze for a moment before giving up and looking down at his hands and he heard Danielle sigh.

She knows he thought.