When I Look At You

The lights over the crowd dimmed and the arena erupted in screams. Three brothers stood below the stage pumping themselves up as their opening act went on. The bass pounded as Nick sat at the piano, warming up his voice. Kevin stood in a corner tuning his guitar. Joe stood at the doorway doing his normal stretch routine. As he turned his body his elbow collided with something. Someone shrieked and all noise in the room stopped as his brothers rushed over.

“Oh geez, I’m so sorry!” Joe said, stepping over the spilled vegetable platter. The girl on the floor shook her hair out of her face and smiled up at him, causing his heart to skip a beat.

“I’m alright. No harm, no foul.” She said.

“Nice going Joe.” Nick said, extending a hand to the girl who gratefully took it. “Are you alright?”

“She said she was fine, Nick.” Joe said as he began to pick up the vegetables. Kevin bent down and began to help him.

“Uh, I’m Faith… by the way.” She said, waving her hand and looking at the three boys.

“God, sorry. I’m Joe.” He said, standing up to shake her hand.
Both bodies felt an electric shock ripple through them at the touch. Joe quickly pulled his hand away and stuffed it in his pocket, looking down at the floor.

“Nick.”

“Kevin.”

“You didn’t really have to introduce yourselves. I know who you are but it’s nice to meet you anyway.” She said, taking the tray from Kevin giving him a thankful smile. “Well, looks like your veggie platter is for the trash now.”

“Again I’m really sorry.”

“It’s alright. Believe it or not it happens all the time.” She said, laughing as she dumped the contents in the nearest trash can. “I’ll go get you a new one.”

“That’s not necessary.” Kevin said. “You should sit down. You look like you’ve been rushing around here all evening.”

“I have actually but… that’s my job.” She said, shrugging her shoulders. “I should get back to work.”

“You should let us take you out to lunch tomorrow.” Nick said before she left the room. “To, uh, make up for Joe’s clumsiness, that is.”

“Smooth,” Kevin muttered and Nick elbowed him while still looking at Faith.

“It’s the least we can do.” Joe said, internally smacking himself for not thinking of it first.

“Alright. Eleven thirty. I’ll meet you at the dinner… around the corner?”

“Sounds good.” Nick said giving her a smile. She blushed as she turned and walked out the door.

That’s how it all began. Nick knew the moment he met Faith that she was the girl he wanted to marry. He never knew that that’s what Joe felt too.

Joe stood in the airport watching as Nick and Faith walked over to security until they were out of sight. Sitting through their wedding and then the reception afterwards equaled the longest six to eight hours of his life. Turning around he noticed the rest of his family getting ready to leave. With a sigh, Joe followed his family out of the airport.

Kevin and Danielle kept whispering to each other and glancing at him. Joe knew that whenever the two did that something was brewing in their minds and it made him uneasy. The Texas air outside was cooling down as the sun started to set making the sky a vibrant pink.

“Goodbye kids,” Denise said, hugging her two oldest sons and daughter-in-law. “We’ll see you Sunday for dinner.”

“Absolutely,” Kevin said, turning to his father.

“Joseph?” she asked, glancing over at him. Joe blinked his eyes when he noticed all five members of his family staring at him, waiting for his answer.

“What?” he asked, giving his head a slight shake, ripping the vision of Faith looking gorgeous in her wedding dress out of his mind.

“Dinner on Sunday. You’ll be there?” Denise asked again, her eyebrows pulling together.

“Oh, yeah. Of course.” Joe said, giving his mother a reassuring smile. She smiled back and climbed into the car, followed by her husband and youngest son. Joe, Kevin, and Danielle waved to their parents and brother and continued walking to their cars.

Joe stared absentmindedly ahead, aware of Kevin and Danielle whispering to each other. Their heads were bent towards each other. They were either a. keeping a secret from Joe, or, b. planning something. Joe’s mind leant toward the latter.

“Hey Joe,” Danielle said, turning her head to him, a large smile plastered on her face. Joe raised an eyebrow, sensing that his suspicions of a plan were correct.

“Yeah?” he asked, turning to stare in front of him again as they continued walking.

“Kevin and I were wondering if you’d like to come over Friday night for dinner.”

“Just the three of us?” Joe asked. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kevin and Danielle exchange a glance.

“Uh, yeah. Of course.” She said.

“I don’t know Dani.” He said, shrugging. “I was planning on… um… going through my DVDs and getting rid of some. It might take awhile.”

“Please Joe? I found a new pot roast recipe that I want to test and I can’t use it with Kevin because he’ll just tell me it’s good no matter what.” She said, rolling her eyes. Joe looked over at her, her eyes shimmering in anticipation. Behind her Kevin gave his brother a pleading look. Joe let out a sigh and stopped next to his car.

“Alright. I’ll be there. Eight o’clock?”

“Seven.” Kevin said.

“Right.” Joe said. “See you on Friday.”

“Bye.” The two said before continuing to their car.

Joe looked in his rearview mirror, making sure they were out of sight before letting out a frustrated sigh and resting his head on the steering wheel. Glancing up into the dark red sky he saw a plane making its departure into the sky. He imagined Faith and Nick in their first class seats, fingers twisted together, her head resting on his shoulder, Nick placing feather light kisses on her face. It made his stomach churn.

“I gotta stop this.” He muttered to himself, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. “She’s with Nick. She never wanted me. Three years of idiotic pining over a girl I’ll never have. Especially since she and Nick are married. And now I’m talking to myself. Nice job Joe, might as well check yourself into a psych ward.”

Joe turned the keys and started the engine up. He was in a daze as he drove through the streets to his flat. The street signs were all a blur. It took him by surprise when he pulled into his parking spot, not realizing he was there already.

The sun was almost completely out of sight by now; the air around him was chilled. Joe greeted the buildings doorman as he held the door open and made it inside as the elevator doors opened. He stood by the doors, tapping his foot, waiting for the couple from the fourth floor to exit. Inside he pushed the seven and slouched against the wall, running his hands over his face.

The doors dinged open. Joe looked up just in time to catch them before they closed again. He shook his head in agitation as he pulled his keys out of his pocket, unlocking the door to his seventh floor flat. He ran his left hand along the wall until he found the light switch and flicked it up. The lights flickered to a dim glow. He turned around the closed the door and locked it, dropping his keys in the bowl on the table.

The couch looked so inviting. He dropped his body onto it, feeling the cushions sink under his weight. Resting his head on the back he turned it to the side. On the table was a framed photograph of himself with Nick and Faith standing between them. He remembered the day well.

It was two years ago, Nick’s twenty first birthday. Faith had wanted to throw a whole big surprise party for him so… she went to Joe with her plans. Together, the two kept secrets, made plans, and had fun together shopping and setting up for the party. Nick had grown jealous of how much time the two were spending together. The day before his birthday he had confronted Joe…

“What’s going on with you and Faith?” Nick asked after he had pulled Joe into the downstairs bathroom at their parents’ house so they could talk privately.

“What do you mean?”

“You two have been spending so much time together. She’s not cheating on me with you is she?” he asked angrily.

“God, Nick, don’t be an idiot.” Joe said though he wished the accusation were true… sort of. “She’s not cheating on you with me. How could you accuse her of something like that? This is Faith we’re talking about.”

“Yeah but we’re also talking about you.” Nick said, looking away from his brother.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Joe asked in a louder voice.

“I know you like Faith. You have the entire year and a half that we’ve known her. You’re jealous that she’s with me and not you.”

“You know, Nick, you’ve said some really crazy things but this by far has got to be the craziest.” Joe said. He turned away from his brother and left the bathroom and sat back in the living room with his family between Frankie and Kevin on the couch.

Nick soon rejoined as well. He stood behind Faith, wrapping an arm around her waist. She turned her head and smiled at him, leaning in for a kiss. He kissed her, gave her a smile, and she turned her head back to the conversation. Nick’s gaze fell on Joe who quickly looked away and kept silent for most of the night.

“This is ridiculous.” Joe said, standing up from his couch. “I’m twenty six years old and in love with my twenty four year old sister-in-law.” He walked into this bedroom, stripping his shirt and pants and collapsing on the bed in his beater and boxers. “Maybe I should check into that psych ward.” He muttered before drifting to sleep.