This Is Primetime

"Wow. This is... a nice van," I finished lamely as I sat down in the backseat of the spacious white vehicle.

"Welcome to my home away from home," Matt grinned as he slid into the seat beside me.

"It's cozy," Markie piped up from my other side.

I suppressed my laughter at her continued attempts to catch Matt's attention. "So I need to stop by my house first. I've got to change my clothes. Is that okay?"

"We've got tons of time," Ian assured me as he turned the key and the engine roared to life. "Don't worry about it. Where do you live?"

I gave him a quick rundown of the directions as he began to drive out of the parking lot. I expected to just run inside quickly by myself so that we could get going again, but everyone clambered out of the van and followed me into the building. As soon as we were inside my apartment, they all started talking at once.

"This reminds me of my place," Ian said as he flopped down on my couch and grabbed the remote. "I feel right at home."

"I forgot what it was like not to have a wife around to clean up," Mike surveyed my sink full of dishes.

"It's not boring, that's for sure," Matt looked around at the various posters covering the pale walls.

"It suits you," Josh murmured, picking up a framed photograph from the kitchen counter.

I felt my cheeks flush red as I recognized the picture. It had been taken at his sister's wedding, and it showed me, Josh, Matt, and a couple of other friends, Andrew and Chris. We were all dressed up in our best clothes, and I smiled faintly as I remembered how hard it had been to get Josh's tux to fit so perfectly. That night had been one of our last good nights before everything fell apart for us.

"Thanks. I'm just going to run and change. I'll be right back." I told them, turning and heading down the short hallway toward my bedroom.

Once I was alone, I locked the door and began to browse through my closet. I didn't want to think about who else was in my apartment, or what I was going to do that night. I was scared and excited all at the same time. I began pulling a few items from my closet, just as someone knocked on my door.

"Who is it?" I asked, tossing a tee shirt onto my bed.

"It's Markie. Need any help with your wardrobe?"

"Nope. I'm okay, thanks."

"Are you sure?"

I knew that she wanted to dress me up like a life-sized Barbie doll. She took any opportunity she could to pick out my clothes and do my hair. Normally, I welcomed the intrusion. Now, however, I just wanted to be myself. If Matt and Josh liked me this way before, why wouldn't they be just as accepting now? I opened the door and let her rush in before I locked it again.

"I don't need any help. But you can hang out here if you want. I could use some company."

"Can I do your make up?"

"Not tonight. Next time we go out, you can have full control, okay?" I tried to bargain with her.

She sat down on my bed, looking like she'd been let down. She picked up the shirt that I'd just picked out, then looked up at me with a disgusted expression.

"You plan on wearing this?" She held it at arms length, as though it had a nasty odor.

"Yes," I snatched the shirt from her and turned back to face my closet. "Believe it or not, I love that shirt."

"Let me guess," she tried to peer past me as I pushed some hangers aside. "A nice pair of jeans to go with it?"

"You know me so well," I smirked as I pulled out my favourite pair.

"No hoodie today? I would have thought you would be dressing to impress."

I shook my head. "A hoodie at a concert in a small club? Are you nuts? I'd die of heat stroke!"

She turned her back while I quickly switched my clothes. "Do you even know what kind of music they play?"

"Not exactly. But I'm pretty sure that it'll be some kind of rock. I know them pretty well, and both Matt and Josh like the same music as me, for the most part." I stepped past her and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to add a little bit of body to my limp locks.

"Are you absolutely positive that you don't need help?"

"I'm fine, Markie. Just give me a minute, and you'll find that I'm not totally helpless," I glanced at her reflection over my shoulder in the mirror. She gave me a skeptical look, which I chose to ignore. I finished my make up in a matter of minutes, then revolved on the spot to show Markie the finished product.

"You'll do, I suppose," she said dryly. "Now let's go see what they've managed to destroy out there in our absence."

My eyebrows shot up. "You don't think they would wreck anything, do you?"

She shrugged. "Don't rockstars usually trash hotel rooms? Your place is kind of like their hotel room tonight."

"They wouldn't trash my apartment. I would kill them. Matt definitely knows that."

Despite my confident demeanor, I rushed out of my bedroom. The boys were all lounging on my couches, watching some movie on TV that was already half over. There was no damage done to anything at all. They had a few glasses littering my coffee table, but I couldn't get mad that they had made themselves at home. I actually felt kind of relieved. If they had already helped themselves to something to drink, that meant that there would be less for me to do later on when I was playing the role of hostess.

"Okay, I'm ready," I tried to pry their attention away from the television screen.

"Already?" Mike asked, glancing down at his wristwatch. "We've still got tons of time. It's not even five o'clock yet."

"Do you guys want to get something to eat before the concert?" I offered. "I don't really have much extra food here right now, but I know some places nearby that are pretty good."

It didn't take much persuasion to get the guys on their feet and out the door. Ian's stomach was rumbling as soon as food was mentioned, and everyone else agreed that it would be a good idea to eat. We decided on a place that was within walking distance and was reasonably priced. We had to get a corner booth, since the normal tables wouldn't fit all six of us.

The food tasted delicious, but I couldn't seem to stomach it properly. Luckily, the conversation was too engrossing for anyone to notice that I had hardly touched my pasta. Josh was a natural born storyteller, and he had my full attention as he told Markie and I a few tales of life on the road. It seemed like Matt and Josh had found the best possible bandmates; they really couldn't have gotten along any better.

The waitress brought the check, and Josh valiantly swiped the book from the table.

"This one's on me," he said when he noticed the expression on my face.

"The hell it is!" I objected, reaching out to try and snatch it from his long fingers. "I've got it this time."

"Why can't I do something nice?" Josh held the bill up over his head so I couldn't reach it. "It's not like it's that expensive."

"I've heard enough stories about how little you guys make," I argued.

"And you expect me to believe that you make so much more than me?"

I frowned. "Fine. You win this round."

Matt's jaw dropped. "She never let me win. Ever. Why are you so special?"

"Because I'm buying her dinner," Josh laughed. "I'm not actually fighting with her like you guys used to."

"We never fought," I corrected him. "We just bickered a little bit."

"Either way," Mike interrupted. "We should get going."

Josh quickly dug his credit card out of his wallet and paid for everyone's meals. We climbed back into the big van a few minutes later, and I directed Ian downtown to the small club where they were scheduled to play. I had never been there before, but I had driven past it enough times to remember the building.

Matt opened the back doors to the van, exposing all of the instruments and other equipment contained inside. He grabbed a guitar case and an amplifier before turning and heading into the building. Ian had already hurried inside to tell someone that they had arrived, and I watched as someone rushed out to prop open the door just as Matt approached it. Josh, Mike and I all grabbed armloads of gear before following suit. Markie followed behind empty-handed.

I had never been backstage anywhere before, and I'm not sure what I was expecting to find. I followed down a wide hallway and rounded a corner directly behind Josh. Suddenly I was on the stage, and I staggered a bit as I looked out at the empty room. There were no lights on us, but I still felt as though there was a huge spotlight focused solely on me. The room wasn't very big; I would guess that capacity was only about two hundred people. Even so, just knowing that there would be people watching later on made me nervous. I had to remind myself that I would be part of the crowd, not the main attraction, before I could calm down. I brought the snare drum and stand that I had been carrying over to Ian so that he could set it up near the rear of the stage. Markie sat down on the edge of the stage and watched as the rest of us went back outside for another load.

"I hope you don't mind being here this early," Mike said as he reopened the doors to the van. "You're going to have to sit through a sound check, and then it's another hour before everyone shows up. You can come hang out in the dressing rooms with us if you want, though."

"I don't mind. I think I could have some fun in an empty club for an hour or so."

"Don't get kicked out, Becky," Matt grinned. "I want you to see the show, not just hear it from outside the doors."

"I'll be good, I promsie," I vowed. "But if I get too bored, I might find my way backstage again."

We finished setting up relatively quickly, then the guys headed backstage. Josh promised that they would change their clothes quickly so that I wouldn't walk in on anything obscene if I went backstage.

Markie and I sat together on the edge of the stage. There were a few people wandering around, moving liquor behind the bar and setting up a table in the back corner of the room for the merchandise. I was glad that I had brought some money, because I planned on buying a tee shirt and maybe even a copy of their EP. There was no tour merch at the table yet, so I soon had nothing left to look at. I turned to Markie, who was already staring at me.

"Want to go backstage?" She asked, sounding bored beyond belief.

I nodded. "Yeah, sure."

We sat on some ratty chairs in the dressing room and talked to the guys. Ian was continuously getting up to check on something or another, trying to ensure that the set would go off flawlessly. Matt and Mike were gathering up some boxes of merchandise to bring out, and Josh was looking in the mirror as he straightened his hair. Markie and I remained backstage during the soundcheck, since the guys had repeatedly told us that it was only one song, and if everything went perfectly they wouldn't even play the whole thing.

Just before the doors were due to open, I helped Matt and Mike set up the merch table. Once everything was set up, I raced around to the far side of the table and pulled out my money.

"Alright, I'd like..." I paused to take a good look at what I'd just finished setting up. "That tee shirt right there," I pointed to the one I meant. "And also I want your EP."

Matt quickly got my purchases together and set them on the table in front of me. "No charge. You're giving us a place to stay for free, and you helped us a lot today."

"Screw you," I pushed the money at him. "I let Josh buy me dinner, that's payment enough."

"I'm not going to sit here and argue with you. Take the present," he smiled.

"Can I run the merch booth when you're on stage?"

Matt frowned. "Don't you want to watch the show?"

"Oh, right. Never mind. Can you just set this stuff behind the table for me so that I don't have to carry it around?"

He nodded. "Yeah, for sure."

Shortly after that, people began to show up. It seemed that I wasn't alone in the fact that I'd never heard of Marianas Trench. There were hardly any people showing up. I expected that fact to upset the guys, but it had the opposite effect. Mike and Matt seemed truly radiant when people came to talk to them. It suddenly occurred to me that these people probably didn't even realise that they guys were in the band. When I mentioned it to them, Mike laughed at me.

"Generally, when you come to a small show like this, all the bands are somewhat alike when it comes to this. They don't have crews yet, so they sell their own gear. When the show starts, usually the club staff takes over for awhile."

Josh and Ian came out to get Mike and Matt after awhile, and I wished everyone luck before they all headed backstage again. Markie and I headed down to the main floor where the rest of the sparse crowd was gathered. I counted quickly. There were eleven people at the show, myself included. The lack of a crowd ceased to matter when the lights went down and the curtains pulled open. Everyone cheered as Ian began the show with a drum beat. The rest of the band ran onstage and picked up their appropriate instruments.

They started the show with a catchy tune, and I was trying to sing along without actually knowing any of the words. When the song was over, Josh took a second to talk to the crowd.

"Hey guys, how are you doing out there tonight?"

There was some scattered applause and cheers in response.

"We're Marianas Trench, and we're really glad to be here tonight. This next song goes out to someone in the crowd right now. She'll know why when she hears it."

I felt myself stop moving as I waited patiently for the song to begin. Matt started it off with his guitar, and I noticed that he was continuously throwing glances in my direction. I listened carefully as Josh began to sing. Eventually, the rest of the guys were singing various lyrics too, and they all overlapped and came together to form a beautiful harmony. I'd forgotten just how amazing they sounded when they sang. As immersed as I was in the sound itself, I was still able to focus on the words. Out of the entire song, the second verse jumped out at me more than anything else.

"It started with a handgun
Loaded with excuses
I started faking it
And then we started breaking it
All the pieces used to fit
Using like it's going out of style
Maybe just a little while
And This will be the last time
Every time's the last time"

Josh had mentioned before that he'd written songs about the heroin. This one really hit home. It completely broke my heart when he started to sing the words I regretted it, I regret a lot of things.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself for the rest of the show. As soon as it was over, I rushed to the door that led backstage. Now, however, there was a huge security guard blocking my way. I stood there and tried to argue my way past him with no success, but after a moment Josh appeared behind him.

"We're coming out for a meet and greet, Becky," he told me. "Once that's done, you and Markie can come backstage with us again."

"I think Markie's planning on catching a cab home pretty soon. She keeps complaining about having to get up and work in the morning," I told him. "But I'll be here to help out until you guys are ready to leave. Is that song on the EP that Matt gave me?" I asked, knowing that he knew which song I meant without any further explanation.

"Yeah, and it's going to be on our album, too," he led the way as the rest of the guys headed out into the main area of the club. "Did you like it?"

"I loved it."

He smiled widely. "I'm glad. What did you think of the rest of the show?"

"You guys are absolutely amazing. I mean, I know that this sounds bad because you're my friends, but I think you're definitely one of my new favourite bands."

"Aw, Beck," Matt wrapped an arm tightly around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. "You don't have to suck up to us. We still want you around," he joked. "Besides, we're really looking forward to staying at your place tonight. Even if you hated us, we'd still crash on your couch."