The Suicide Pact
01.
Sometimes I catch myself looking at Elliot. When you're that close to someone, at times you don't realize how good looking they really are. He never brushed his curly hair, yet it always seemed to set in the right place. His skin was perfect. It reminded me of beige silk. I could run my fingers along his cheek, and it would be so smooth and perfect. He has pink lips that are perfectly shaped. They may just be pink from him biting them every two minutes.
"Why are you staring at me?" Elliot asked, pausing from biting his apple to look at me.
"You're pretty," I said, biting my sandwich.
"I am!? Thank you so much! You think I should model!?" I snorted.
"Yes actually," I said, huffing. He smiled and put his apple down.
"That's actually the first thing you've said all day," he said. Ana looked up from her book and nodded.
"You have. You didn't even comment on Mrs. Hammond's hair," she said. It was pretty disgusting today. Her bald spot looked like cheese to me.
"I didn't? Oh," I wasn't really sure how to respond. I thought I was acting normal.
"Are you okay?" Elliot asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"You guys…I'm dying in less than a year." I'm not really sure how you break that kind of news to someone. I think I said it wrong. I said it like I was telling them they switched today's special to meatloaf in the cafeteria.
They both stared at me like I had two heads.
"Okay…I guess. Technically, I could be dying tomorrow," Elliot said.
"No…guys, I'm…well I have cancer, you know? The doctor said I'm supposed to die."
There was that stare again.
"What do you mean?" Ana asked. I didn't understand how the hell I could make it any plainer.
"You're dying?" I looked at Elliot and saw that his eyes started to water. I searched my mind for comforting words to say, but nothing came.
"Yeah. I am," I replied, looking down at my lunch tray. We sat there in silence for a few minutes.
"Fine," Elliot said finally.
"What?" I thought that was a little rude. He got over it quickly.
"Fine. The day you die, I die. We're all supposed to spend our lives together, and if you go, I'm going too. Then we'll be together even if we're dead," he said. Judging from his facial expression, he was serious.
"Me too. That was the plan," Ana said, nodding and looking at Elliot.
"Then it's settled. When Janice dies, we'll off ourselves." I stared at them.
"Have you guys lost your minds? Do you realize what you're talking about?" My mouth hung open.
"We do realize what we're saying. I choose asphyxiation," Elliot said, picking his apple up casually.
"Overdose of pain killers. I hear that's not painful," Ana said, starting to finish her macaroni.
They were insane, I tell you.
"Why are you staring at me?" Elliot asked, pausing from biting his apple to look at me.
"You're pretty," I said, biting my sandwich.
"I am!? Thank you so much! You think I should model!?" I snorted.
"Yes actually," I said, huffing. He smiled and put his apple down.
"That's actually the first thing you've said all day," he said. Ana looked up from her book and nodded.
"You have. You didn't even comment on Mrs. Hammond's hair," she said. It was pretty disgusting today. Her bald spot looked like cheese to me.
"I didn't? Oh," I wasn't really sure how to respond. I thought I was acting normal.
"Are you okay?" Elliot asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"You guys…I'm dying in less than a year." I'm not really sure how you break that kind of news to someone. I think I said it wrong. I said it like I was telling them they switched today's special to meatloaf in the cafeteria.
They both stared at me like I had two heads.
"Okay…I guess. Technically, I could be dying tomorrow," Elliot said.
"No…guys, I'm…well I have cancer, you know? The doctor said I'm supposed to die."
There was that stare again.
"What do you mean?" Ana asked. I didn't understand how the hell I could make it any plainer.
"You're dying?" I looked at Elliot and saw that his eyes started to water. I searched my mind for comforting words to say, but nothing came.
"Yeah. I am," I replied, looking down at my lunch tray. We sat there in silence for a few minutes.
"Fine," Elliot said finally.
"What?" I thought that was a little rude. He got over it quickly.
"Fine. The day you die, I die. We're all supposed to spend our lives together, and if you go, I'm going too. Then we'll be together even if we're dead," he said. Judging from his facial expression, he was serious.
"Me too. That was the plan," Ana said, nodding and looking at Elliot.
"Then it's settled. When Janice dies, we'll off ourselves." I stared at them.
"Have you guys lost your minds? Do you realize what you're talking about?" My mouth hung open.
"We do realize what we're saying. I choose asphyxiation," Elliot said, picking his apple up casually.
"Overdose of pain killers. I hear that's not painful," Ana said, starting to finish her macaroni.
They were insane, I tell you.