Dreams of Tomorrow

6.30 am. It was Monday already, which means that it was time for Athalya to go back to Huntington Beach.

Athalya was up, showered and dressed. She was packing her stuff, making sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. She was trying to keep a straight face as she realised than in a couple of hours, she’d be away from here, and back at school.

She remembered Joey’s face when she went to tell him Good Night and he realised that she had to leave the next day. He was almost crying. And to tell the truth, Athalya had to prevent herself from crying too.
Never in her whole life had she seen people so nice and welcoming. Joey held a special place in her heart, she truly was seeing him as her little brother.

Adrienne had been so nice, welcoming her with open arms in her house, she made Lya feel welcome, she made her feel as if she was belonging in their family. She just wished she could stay longer.

She zipped up her bag and stood up, looking around, taking in every single details of the room. She walked over to the window and opened it. The sun was barely up yet but she took her camera and took a picture of the landscape, she had already taken one the day before, at sunset. She closed the window.

Sighing, she put her camera back in her other smaller bag and with one last glance to her room, she grabbed her bags and left the room. She closed the door behind her and carefully made her way to the stairs, and down to the hall. She slowly dropped her bags in the hall and tried to find her way to the kitchen.

She had to suppress a gasp when she saw Billie Joe sitting at the counter, with a mug of coffee in front of him.

“Billie Joe?” she whispered, but got no answers. She frowned and walked closer to him. When she got a closer look of his face, she realized he had his eyes closed, his head resting on the palm of his hand. He was asleep.
Carefully, she put a hand on his shoulder and shook him lightly.

“Billie Joe…”

“B…” she whispered, a little louder, shaking him.
Still nothing.

Athalya was starting to worry.

“Billie Joe, wake up…” she said, shaking him harder.
She saw the corner of his mouth twitch as he kept his eyes closed. She pursed her lips before smirking and slapping his shoulder.

“Fuck you Billie Joe!” she muttered, before heading to the cupboard to grab a bowl and some cereals.

“Oh come on Lya! It was just a joke.” He said, chuckling.

“You should stop joking, you’re really not funny ya know?” she mumbled. “What are you doing up anyway? I thought you said a cab would come and pick me up…”

“Yeah but no, ya know… It’s my job to drive you to the airport and make sure you won’t be late for school.” He explained as Lya went to sit opposite him.

“Your job is to be a musician, write kickass songs, play guitar and rock out thousands of people, not driving me to the airport.” She replied, taking a spoonful of cereals.

“Whatever you say. I’m driving you to the airport. That’s final.”

Athalya said nothing after that and kept eating her cereals, her eyes glued on the wooden surface.

“Is everything all right?” asked Billie Joe after a few minutes of total silence.

“Of course.” Was Athalya’s short reply.

“Hey Lya, I’m really sorry about that lame joke earlier…” he said, patting her hand. Her attention snapped to him.

“What?”

“Are you still upset about that joke?” repeated Billie Joe.

“Of course not, I’m just thinking about stuff…” she mumbled, looking at her cereals.

“Depressing stuff? Because by the look on your face, you aren’t thinking about Christmas or any happy thing…” he commented, leaning on the table.

“I’m trying to decide whether or not it’s a good thing to go back to HB.” She explained, not looking up.

“What?”

“You heard me. I should ask my grandparents to move to the bay area. Nothing’s holding them back in Huntington Beach, and they used to live in Berkeley too.”

“You can’t do that. You don’t have the right to. You got friends in Huntington, I saw them.” Said Billie Joe, frowning.

“I barely know them, and plus, we aren’t the best friends in the world, I’ve been here for what, a couple of months, maybe more… They’ll survive if I leave.” Athalya said, before biting the inside of her cheek.

It was hurting her to speak so lowly about her friends, but if she had the possibility to move to Berkeley or anywhere near the Armstrong’s household, she’d do it.
Anything to be close to Billie Joe, and have the possibility to see him once a week, or even more if possible. And if it meant leaving Jimmy, Brian, Johnny and everyone else, she’d do it.

“You can’t say that Athalya.” Whispered Billie Joe, shaking his head lightly.

“I know, I know, I shouldn’t say that… But it’s true! I don’t see the point in living in HB when I could be living near you…” Athalya said, starring at her cereals.

“Lya, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come live here. Just stay in HB with your friends and grand parents, you belong here…” Billie Joe said, trying to reason her.

“I don’t belong anywhere!” she snapped, getting up. She dumped her bowl and spoon in the sink. Without a glance in Billie Joe’s direction, she left the kitchen. She went back in her room to check if she had everything. She knew damn well she had everything in her bags, in the hall but she just wanted to go back into her ‘room’. She looked inside and then left her bedroom for real. As she closed the door, she realised that Adrienne was standing by the staircase, in her PJs. It was clear that she had just gotten up.

“Have a safe trip.” Whispered Adie as Athalya opened her arms to hug to older woman.

“I will, don’t worry…” Athalya whispered in reply. It felt like her heart was being squeezed in her chest, she was almost suffocating while trying to hold back the tears. She wanted to stay here forever.

“You’ll come back soon won’t you?” whispered Adrienne, lightly running her fingers through Athalya’s hair.

“…”
Athalya stayed quiet, she just hugged Adie tighter. They heard someone coming up the stairs and knew it was Billie Joe.

“Thanks for everything” whispered Athalya, “Bye Adrienne.”

She slowly let go of BJ’s wife and headed down the stairs. She looked at her surroundings one last time before grabbing her stuff and heading out of the house. She waited by his car and when he unlocked it, she put her luggage in the trunk. She got on the passenger seat and kept her mouth shut, keeping her thoughts and feelings to herself.

Billie Joe got into the car. The iron doors opened with that ‘clang’ sound and closed with the same sound after the car.
Athalya lightly drummed on her lap with her fingers, she was looking through the window. She was counting from 0 to 55 in Chinese in order not to think about how much she wanted to cry. She tried not to look at BJ’s face, because she knew she’d break down in hysterics. She tried not to think about how great her week end had been…
She hadn’t felt this happy and complete in weeks. Last time was at the Green Day show. She just wanted to hug Joey, Adie, BJ and Jakob and never let go. Never.
The drumming of her fingers intensified. She had reached 55 in Chinese, she decided to count in Spanish, from 56 to 100.

Billie Joe was glancing at Athalya every now and then. He was worried about her. Her face was blank, expressionless.
He wanted to apologize, he knew it wasn’t easy for her. He went through the same kind of event. He felt so bad for her. If he could, he would let her stay forever but he knew it wasn’t the best solution. Athalya would probably hate him for a while… And maybe even refuse to talk to him for a few weeks. He just hoped it’d only be temporary.

The rest of the drive was spent in dead silence. Neither of them wanted to speak. Especially not Athalya. Billie Joe parked the car and was ready to unbuckle his seat belt when Athalya stopped him by opening the passenger door.

“Thanks for the ride.” She said in a monotonous voice. Billie Joe was speechless as he saw Athalya getting out of the car. She grabbed her bags and closed the trunk. She went back to the front of the car and looked at Billie Joe.

“Thanks for everything.” She mumbled, not even looking at him. “I’ll see you later…” and she closed the door. Athalya grabbed her bags and slowly made her way into the airport. She’d have walked faster, but her bags were kinda heavy with the amount of stuff BJ and Adie had bought for her.

Her eyes were burning as she was still holding back her tears. She wanted to be back to HB already.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and knew who it was. She slowly turned around and was face to face with BJ.
“I’m sorry Lya…” he said, wrapping his arms around her smaller body. She dropped her bags at her feet and wrapped her arms around Billie Joe, resting her chin on his shoulder. She had stopped breathing, concentrating on keeping her tears to herself. The pain in her chest intensified.

After a short moment, she managed to unwrapped herself from BJ’s hold.
“I’m gonna miss my flight…” she said, picking up her bags again.

“Thank you for inviting me to SF. I had a great week end.” She said, “I’ll see you later B.”

“All right, bye Athalya.” He said, as he watched the young girl dragging her heavy bags behind her. He watched until she entered the building, loosing the sight of her in the crowd. It was only when he couldn’t see her anymore that he turned around and got back in his car.

**

Athalya was now dragging her bags down the high school hall. The hall was empty, she was just right in time for school. She hurriedly put her bags in her locker and then rushed to her first lesson.

She had tried her best to empty her mind during the flight. It had worked, kind of. She took her seat at the back of the class, her usual seat and waited for the lesson to start. None of her friends were in any of her classes this morning. And she was kinda glad…

It’d have been hard for her to face them after what she had told Billie Joe earlier this morning. She knew it was a bit harsh, but at the moment, staying with Billie Joe was what she wanted most. In the plane, she took the time to try and think about rationally.
It was better for her to stay with her grand parents in HB, she’d only be even more eager to go to SF. And plus, Billie Joe wasn’t often home… He was touring most of the time.

Athalya tried her best to pay attention to the lessons, instead of thinking about her latest decision. Which was: trying to open-up and be friendlier. That won’t be an easy task for her, and it might take some time for her to adapt. But she could try…

**

The bell rang, announcing that it was time for lunch.
She hurriedly walked over to her locker. She tried to open it quickly but her hands were shaking for some reasons. After a few tries, she managed to open it and then she tried to make her school bag fit in the locker. Easier said than done.

“Putain de merde!” she swore, pushing the bag with all her might before quickly slamming her locker shut. She sighed, ran a hand through her hair and turned around.

“Where the hell were you? I was worried!” said Jimmy, his arms crossed over his chest, his foot lightly tapping on the floor. “I went to pick you up this morning, and your grandmother said that you weren’t here. I thought you were never coming back!” he ranted, frowning at her. “Really, you should have warn-…”

Jimmy stopped his rant when he realised that Athalya was hugging him.
“Calm down Jimmy! I flew back home this morning. A taxi dropped me off at school.” She explained. Jimmy relaxed a little and hugged her back.

“You got me worried here! How was your week end?” he asked, letting her go and draping his arm over her shoulder as they made their way to the cafeteria.

“Awesome, fan-fucking-tasting. I saw so many places and things related to Green Day, it’s unbelievable…” she said, excitedly.

“I’m glad you had fun!” he said, smiling down at her.

“And you, how was your week end?” she asked, entering the cafeteria.

“Uneventful… We were supposed to party at Matt’s house, but it was cancelled… So I went to Brian’s place and we just chilled and watched porn.” Explained Jimmy.

Athalya made a face and Jimmy laughed at her.

“What?! That’s what guys do when they hang out together…” he justified. “That and talking about our last fuck…”

“I don’t care, jeez! I don’t want to hear it. Just shut up.” She said laughing as she smacked his arm and grabbed a tray.

“Well, it’s very entertaining…” added Jimmy.

“I’m sure it is…” she mumbled, not quite paying attention to what he was saying and trying to decide what to eat.

She paid for her food and waited for Jimmy before they both headed to their usual table, inside. Athalya wanted to go outside, but the others were already eating.

“Athalya! Jesus, I thought you left us!” said Michelle, smiling brightly as she caught sight of the young girl. Athalya smiled and put her tray on the table. She’d have gone to hug everyone but they were all sitting down and it would have looked weird so she just sat down. Well, she was about to sit down when she realised that someone was missing.

“Where’s Brian?” she asked.

“He won’t eat with us today.” Explained Matt.

“And why is that?” asked Athalya, sitting down between Zacky and Johnny, in front of Jimmy.

“He was really vague when I dropped him off this morning…” explained Jimmy, not meeting Athalya’s gaze.

“All right…” she trailed off, shrugging. She took a bit of her vegetables and listened to the conversation going between Michelle, Val, Jason, Matt and Justin.

It was about Halloween costumes.

Athalya drifted off back in San Francisco, when Billie Joe showed her every places that were Green Day related. It was great.
She imagined what BJ was doing at the moment, was he in his studio, recording new material for the next album, or was he playing with Jakob and Joey… and Adrienne, what was she doing?

Her moral was slowly going downhill, the more she was thinking about her week end, the more sad/depressed she felt.

It had only been a few hours since she had left, but to her it felt like days had already passed…

“Hey Athalya! Are you coming? Will you stay the night, or will you go back to your house?” asked Michelle.

They all had noticed Athalya’s change of mood, it was written on her face. Michelle lightly touched Athalya’s arm, in order to get her attention.

“Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t listening… What did you say?” asked Athalya, focussing on the people around her.

“We asked you if you were coming to the Halloween party which will be held at Brian’s place.” Explained Michelle.

“Halloween party? What is that?” she asked, lightly frowning.

“You don’t know what Halloween is?” asked Matt in total disbelief.

“Well, I do know what Halloween is but it’s not a popular holiday in France… Only the small children celebrate it. Once you get older, it’s just like any other normal day.” She said.

“Are you shitting me?” asked Justin, slapping his forehead. “You French people are weird. That’s all I’m gonna say…”

Athalya glared at him and turned her attention back to Michelle.

“Well, all you have to do is to show up at Brian’s doorstep at around 8.30pm, dressed up in the costume of your choice.” Michelle explained.

“All right…” was Athalya vague reply.

“It’s in two weeks.” Added Johnny.

“2 weeks?” asked Athalya, her eyes widening slightly. She was supposed to go back to Oakland in 2 weeks. “I don’t know…” she trailed off, rubbing her neck awkwardly. “I might have other plans…” she whispered.

“Oh come on Athalya! You can’t let us down! Brian’s expecting you to come anyway…” said Michelle. Jimmy turned to glare at Michelle.

“It’s all right Athalya…” he said, before she could say anything. “Don’t worry about it.” He said, still glaring at Michelle.

Athalya frowned, not understanding what was going on. She decided to forget it and kept on eating her food, slowly.

Silence fell around the table, before Matt broke it.

“Don’t forget guys, it’s band practise tonight, at my place.” He said.

“It’s band what?” asked Athalya, raising an eyebrow.

“Band practise…” repeated Justin.

Athalya kept starring at Matt, her face expressionless, expecting more information.

“What?” asked Matt, frowning.

“You have a band?” asked Athalya.

Zacky and Justin started chuckling but Val elbowed Justin and kicked Zacky under the table.

“Jimmy didn’t tell you?” asked Matt.

“Huh, maybe he did mention it but I have no memories of it…” she trailed off, frowning lightly as she tried to remember Jimmy ever mentioning it to her.

“Well, it doesn’t matter… Yes, we have a band. Jimmy, Zacky, Justin and I.” explained Matt, smiling. Like he always did every time he was mentioning his band.

“Avenged Sevenfold.” Added Jimmy. “I play drums, Zacky plays the guitar, Justin is the bass player and Matt is the singer.” He explained.

“Oh…” was all Athalya could say. What was she supposed to say? Maybe she could had something along the line of : that’s great!

“Hey, how about you come and watch us tonight?” suggested Matt, smiling his dimpled smile.

“Huh…”

“Can I come too?” asked Johnny. Justin rolled his eyes.

“Sure Shortshit, no problem.” Said Matt.

Athalya pushed her still half full plate away from her. She wasn’t hungry anymore. She just wanted the day to be over already so she could curl up in her bed and listen to Green Day. She couldn’t stop thinking about Billie Joe and his family, it’s was bothering her a little.

“Are you done eating?” asked Michelle.

“I’m not hungry…” she replied.

“Are you sick? Do you want me to take you to the doctor?” asked Jimmy.

“Nah, no worries. I’m just kinda tired, that’s all…” and as if she needed to prove her point, she yawned. “I think I’ll go outside for a moment…” she said as she got up. She grabbed her tray and left the table.

**

Athalya had her back resting against the tree, her eyes closed. She wasn’t really all that tired, she just wasn’t feeling well.

She brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. She just wanted to be alone for a while even though she knew that being alone wasn’t the best solution for her. But she still felt better alone that with her friends. There were just too many. She knew it was silly to think that, but it was how she felt. They were too many : Jimmy, Johnny, Justin, Zacky, Matt, Val and Michelle. Brian, the Berry brothers and Cam weren’t there. She still felt uncomfortable hanging with too many people.
She’d have to get used to it eventually…

It might take a while…

She wrapped her arms tighter around her knees and opened her eyes. She blinked a few times, letting them adjust to the sunlight. She looked up, trying to see the sky through the tree branches. The sky was a pretty shade a blue, with small touches of white.

On one of those small clouds, Athalya’s mother was watching her. She knew it. She believed it. She needed to believe it.

Athalya let out a shaky breath and tilted her head slightly to the side. Through the branches, she could see a rather large cloud, just above the school building. She believed that her mother was sitting on it, probably watching her with a small smile on her face. She imagined her, with her long dark hair floating around her face. Her dark eyes shining in the sun. She was probably dressed the same way she was in the coffin, with her long black dress. Athalya owned the exact same dress, and the only time she had ever worn it was at Shania’s funerals.

Athalya managed to hold back her tears as the cloud was pushed away by the light wind. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a shaky breath and she pushed herself back on her feet. She brushed the dirt off her jeans and headed back into the school, to grab her bag before going to class.

**

The rest of the day was blurry in Athalya’s mind. She did take notes, but couldn’t even remember what lessons she had.

She had went to grab her bags at the end of school and had to fight to get them out of her locker. She’d have to tell B no to buy her so many clothes…

Jimmy was waiting for her by his car, Johnny was already sitting in the backseat. Jimmy went to help Athalya with her bags.

The drive was surprisingly quiet. Random comments were made by Johnny and the radio was on. Jimmy dropped Johnny at the end of his street before driving off towards Athalya’s house.
Jimmy stopped in front of Athalya’s home, not shutting the engine like he usually did.

Athalya got out of the car and went to grab her bags. She walked over to Jimmy’s side of the car and looked at him for a few seconds before speaking:
“Thanks for the ride.” She said, slightly frowning. Jimmy just nodded.

Athalya pursed her lips and turned around, heading towards the front door when Jimmy called after her.

“I’m not mad at you.” He said, barely meeting her gaze. Athalya just rolled her eyes and went straight for the door, without glancing back at Jimmy’s car like she usually did.

She slammed the door behind her and dropped her bag at her feet.

“Hey Mamie!” she said, spotting her grandmother in the kitchen. Athalya kicked off her shoes and went to hug her grand mother, before hugging her grand father.

“How was your week end?” asked Suzan, anxiously.

“It was great! Really, I had a blast.” Athalya said, smiling brightly. “I’m just a little tired you know… Billie and Adrienne took me everywhere they could… And I took a lot of pictures too… Oh, and their kids are awesome!” she said, smiling and talking faster than usual.

Both her grandparents were smiling at Athalya, happy to see her so thrilled about her week end.

“I’m going to unpack my stuff, Billie and Adie bought me so many clothes…” she trailed off.

Athalya went to her bedroom and the first thing she did was to light up the small candle that was on the windowsill, next to the picture of her mother. Then, she put on her MJ’s CD and started unpacking her stuff, sometimes dancing around her room and singing.

She tried not to think about Jimmy’s weird behaviour and decided to empty her mind. Unpacking her stuff took longer than what she’d have expected…

But she was interrupted by a knock on her door.