Dreams of Tomorrow

Lya was sitting down on a bench, her backpack by her side. She had one hand resting on it, in case someone would want to move it or steal it. Her other hand was resting on the back of the bench. Her head was tilted back, she was gazing up at the sky.

She never really liked autumn back in France, but here, she didn’t mind.

Fallen leaves were covering the ground as more leaves kept on falling. She was just thankful it wasn’t raining yet.

She had managed to escape Brian, Jimmy and the rest of the ‘gang’ for a moment. Since Halloween, it seemed to her that the only moment when she could be alone where in the bathroom and… And that was all, because even when she was asleep, it seems that Jimmy or Brian were always here. Yeah, the bathroom was the only place where she could be alone.

Her grandparents were way cooler than she’d have thought, always welcoming the guys with open arms, they didn’t mind if they stayed over on a school night… As long as Lya had a smile on her face, they were happy.

She knew the situation wasn’t easy for them either, having to take care of your granddaughter because her mother died and the father is unknown isn’t something you’d be dreaming of. She felt bad for them, she was like a burden. She was doubling her effort in doing the housework. The only place in the house that was still messy was her room.

Speaking of housework, she still had some ironing to do…

Some might complain if they had to do housework, but it was Athalya’s choice. Her own way of paying back her grandparents for everything they were doing for her. She was taking care of the inside of the house, will they were busying themselves with the outside.

She still felt bad because she was always out of the house, mostly at Brian’s or Matt’s, and when she was home, she had people over.

She still wasn’t used to being surrounded by so many people, by so many ‘friends’.

Her fingers weren’t enough to count them. Brian, Jimmy, Johnny, Michelle, Matt, Val, Zacky, Justin, Matt and Jason Berry. She counted on her fingers. 10, exactly. Well, there was still Matt Baker, Zakcy’s brother, and Cam and others but she wasn’t hanging around them all that much.

10 people, that was a lot to her. Almost too much…

She probably wouldn’t be able to keep in touch with them all.

She wiggled her nose. Yeah, while being on tour with Green Day, she probably wouldn’t have much time to keep in touch with them. She’d probably try to keep in touch with Brian, Jimmy, Johnny and Michelle.

She sighed, and closed her eyes, she’d probably have to go back home soon. She decided to enjoy the quietness a little bit more.

It was Friday… This meant no school the day after, which also meant…

“MERDE!” she shouted, jumping off the bench, snatching her backpack on her way and running out of the park, hoping she wouldn’t slip on the wet leaves.

“Merde, merde, merde, merdeuh!” she muttered, running until she reached her street, she ran even faster to her house, and almost knocked down Johnny as he was sitting on the porch.

“Hey, what’s the hurry?” he asked, getting up. She rested her back against the front door, panting.

“My… my… step-… step-father.” She managed to say, trying to catch her breath.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with him?” He asked, brushing her hair out of her face.

“Airport. Today.” She mumbled, before she doubled up, resting her elbows on her knees. She needed to do more exercise, she really needed to.

“Oh yeah, I remember you telling me about it. But your grandparents just left to go grocery shopping. They asked me to tell you that his flight was belated. He will arrive tomorrow morning.” He explained. She lifted her head to look at him, before she let herself fall down on her ass.

“Et fuck…” she mumbled. “I ran all the way here for shit.”

“Well, I was actually waiting for you to come back…” he said.

“Sorry Johnny. What did you want?” she asked, still breathless.

“Well, the guys all left to band practice, even Brian and the Berry’s tagged along. And hum, they let me know, nicely, that I wasn’t invited. So I came here, hoping you wouldn’t reject me too.” He explained.

“Hey Johnny, you know what? Fuck them! We don’t need them to have fun. Do you wanna go to the mall?” she suggested, getting back on her feet.

“Yeah, sure…”

“Okay, but first off, I need to drink something and eat something, I’m running low on sugar.” She said, taking the keys off her pockets and unlocking the door.

“Do you want something?” she asked, about to raid the fridge.

“Huh… some coke, if you still have some…” he said, entering the kitchen.

“Well, you know what? We don’t have any…” she mumbled, closing the fridge with her hip. She opened the top cupboard and tiptoed to see what was left.

“And we don’t have any sweets either. Let’s go shopping!” she said, slamming the door shut. “You don’t mind walking, do you?”

“No problem…” he said, following Lya to the hall as she grabbed her backpack and searched for her wallet.

“Ready? Let’s go.” She closed and locked the door after them.

“Are you sure you don’t mind hanging out with me? Brian said you had homework to do.” Said Johnny, shoving his hands in his pockets, looking at the girl walking beside him.

“Johnny, I do have homework, but it can wait until tomorrow or even Sunday. I’m not going to leave you by yourself on a Friday night, you guys taught me that. And plus, they openly told you to fuck off, that’s not nice. I’m your friend, I won’t let you down…” she said, smiling at him.

“I could do my homework too…” he said.

She laughed,
“Johnny, I never saw you doing homework since I came here.” She said.

“That’s because you don’t pay attention. I do my homework.” He argued.

“Yeah, like what, once a month? Or maybe every two months?” she asked, chuckling.

“Hey!”

“Oh come on, you know it’s true. But I like you still, even if you’ll drop out of high school.”

“Well, that’s nice to know that someone likes me!” he said, snorting.

“You know I do Johnny. And you should feel special about that.” She said, with a smile, as she pushed the door to a small shop. She greeted the old man behind the counter and went to buy a bottle of coke and some sweets.

“Do you want chocolate?” he asked.

“Nah, it makes me sick.” She said, shaking her head.

“Are you kidding me?”

“It’s true! If I eat too much chocolate, I end up sick.” She explained, as she dropped her items on the counter and reached into her pocket for her wallet. She paid, said good bye to the man and they left the shop.

“You’re weird! You can’t drink, can’t eat chocolate and you don’t smoke… You’re not normal.” He said.

“Well, I’m sorry if my abnormality bothers you…” she said, twisting the cap of the bottle and taking a long sip of coke.

“I’m not normal either, that makes 2 of us.” He said, handing out his hand. She gave him the bottle and opened the bag of sweets. She shoved a handful in her mouth and smiled as she swallowed.

“Hmm, sugar…” she whispered. “Probably one of the best things in the world.” She said. “Want some?”

Johnny grabbed a handful and stuffed his mouth.

“Hey, do you wanna sleep over tonight?” she asked, stopping in front of Johnny. He stopped right before bumping into her.

“Huh, yeah… why not! You sure your grandparents won’t mind?” he asked, rubbing his neck.

“They won’t, they told you you were welcome anytime, didn’t they?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Then it’s no problem. But I’m probably going to spend some time with what’s left of my family the next few days.” She explained, walking beside him once again.

“Yeah sure, that’s normal.” He said, nodding. Happy to spend the night at Lya’s. Maybe, just maybe, he was glad the guys had ‘kicked him out’ of band practice, ‘cause now, he was hanging with Lya.

“We should probably go to your place, to let your parents know I’m kidnapping you once again. And to get some VHS, I don’t have many movies at home.” She said.

“Sure, let’s go…” he said, nodding, as they turned around and headed to his house.

**

“What do you think?” Athalya asked, wiggling her toes.

“Honestly?” Johnny asked, looking up from his bass. It was getting late, Johnny was sitting on the edge of her bed, playing bass, while she had her back against the wall, painting her toe nails.

“It’s horrible isn’t it…? I love green, but it just looks weird on my toe nails…” she said, making a face.

“Yeah, it’s kinda weird…” he approved.

“Too late… My left foot is done…” she said, shrugging.

“Then do the other one in black…” he suggested, before focusing back on his bass.

“Good idea!” she said, nodding.

Johnny shook his head, smiling. Lya grabbed the black nail varnish and proceeded to paint her toe nails black, on the right foot.

They fell silent, a comfortable one. Their friendship was different than the one she had with Brian or the one she had with Jimmy. Johnny was the first person she started considering as her friend in HB.

She hoped that one day, they will start considering him as their friends too, instead of calling him Shortshit.

“Hey Lya, wasn’t your step father supposed to show up for Christmas?” asked Johnny, dragging her out of her thoughts.

“That’s right. But he called like, 5 days ago or something, and said that he’d come earlier.” She said.

“That’s cool! That means you’ll be able to spend some time with him!”

“I don’t know how to feel about it. Last time I saw him was when he took me to the airport, before I landed in New York.” She explained.

“You were close to him?” he asked.

“I was getting on quite well with him. I don’t know my father, so he was like a substitute. But really David was a pretty cool guy.”

“Don’t you miss France sometimes?” he asked, putting his bass back in its case and crawling on her bed to sit next to her.

“I do. I miss my old house, I miss my old habits back at home, I miss my old room, I miss my school, I miss my hometown, and most of all, my mother.” She said, putting the varnish back on her nightstand, looking anywhere but at Johnny, as she was struggling to keep her tears at bay.

“Do you think you’ll go back there someday? Or are you going to stay in America?” asked Johnny, looking at her.

“I have no idea Johnny. I doubt I’ll stay in HB forever." she said, getting a hold of herself.

“I hope you will.” He said, smiling at her.

Lya smiled back at him, sadly.
“Even if I don’t, I’ll keep in touch.”

“Promise?” he asked, holding out his pinky.

“Yeah.”

“You have to promise!” he argued.

“I promise!” she said, looking at him.

He held his pinky in front of her face.
“Pinky promise!” he said.

“What the hell? Isn’t that something kids do on TV?” she asked, blinking.

“I don’t care. Promise.” He said. Doubtfully, she linked her pinky with his.

“Now you better keep your promise Lya.” He said, patting her cheek.

**

“Mamie, are you sure he is in this plane?” she asked, her arm linked with her grandmother. Her grandfather smiled at her.

“I’m sure he is. He called us right before boarding in Atlanta.” He said.

“Thank you for letting him stay with us.” She said, looking at her grandparents.

“You’re welcome Lya, it’s normal. He was married to our daughter, and even though she’s not with us anymore, it doesn’t mean that we should forget him.” Said Suzan.

“He should be here all ready.” Mumbled Lya, tugging at her grandmother’s arm.

The three of them were standing in the airport, waiting for Lya’s step father to make his appearance.
They dropped Johnny back at his home early in the morning, on their way to the airport.

Her heart was beating slightly faster in anticipation.

A man emerged out of the crowd of people waiting to pick up their luggage. He was tall, red headed with a red beard, pulling a suitcase behind him and with a huge bag hanging off his shoulder.

“Dad!” she shouted, letting go of her grandmother and running to the man.

He caught sight of a young woman running to him, and he dropped his bag and let go of his suitcase just as Lya jumped in his arms.

She wrapped her arms tightly around him, hugging him close. He hugged her back, just as tight.

It was the first time that they were showing such display of affection to one other. But 2 months away and the loss they both endured can do that to a person. They only had each other when Shania (Lya’s mother) died.

“Look at you Athalya, you look fine. Healthier than when I last saw you.” He said, holding her at arm lengths, looking at her from head to toes.

“And your beard is longer!” she exclaimed, touching his chin, smiling.

“Well yeah, I decided to let it grow… It looks better, don’t you think?” he asked, touching his beard.

“It sure does…” said Lya, nodding.

All her worries seemed to have disappeared when she saw him in front of her.

He was like a reminder that this wasn’t a dream, the last couple of months were real, but unfortunately, so was the death of her mother.

She took a step forward and hugged him again.
“I missed you” she whispered, just as her grandparents stopped next to them, waiting to great their son-in-law. Maybe they shouldn’t call him that now, since their daughter was dead.

**

“I swear it’s true!” he argued as she was looking at the pictures he had brought with him.

“Pa’! You’re joking. You’re friends aren’t dumb enough to do that.” She protested, laughing.

“They did! They decided to make him wear a dress and a wig and walk like that in the streets, asking for kisses from men.” Explained David.

Lya burst out laughing, her hands clutching the pictures. It felt so great to see pictures of familiar places, of her hometown, of France in general.

“They even asked him to go to class like that, the students were cracking up during the whole lesson.”

“That’s just mean! Poor guy!”

“He’s teaching PE…” he added.

David was telling Lya about one of his friends who had just gotten married and as part of his bachelor party, they made him dress up as a girl.

The door bell rang.

“I’ll get it!” she said, shaking her head, still half laughing.

The opened the front door and was face to face with Brian, Jimmy and Johnny. The first two were glaring at Johnny.

“Oh hey guys…” she said, sounding a little off. They weren’t supposed to show up…

“Hey Lya, what happened to your toes?” asked Jimmy, as he made himself at home, hugging Lya on his way to the kitchen.

“Huh, I messed up with the varnish…” she mumbled, cursing herself for not putting up socks.

Brian elbowed Johnny out of his way so he could hug Lya.

“Huh guys, could you come back later?” she whispered, but they were already making their way to the living room.

“Hey, you must be Athalya’s friends, right?” asked David, standing up.

“And you are?” asked Jimmy, eyeing the man carefully.

“My ‘father’” she explained, making air quotes. “David, my friends, guys, David.”

“Hey, he has the same name as your grandfather…” pointed out Johnny.

“Yeah…” trailed off Lya.

“Guys, could you…” she started.

“David, when did you arrive?” asked Jimmy.

“Just this morning actually…” he replied, smiling in direction of Lya, who was glaring at the floor.

“That’s cool.” Said Brian, nodding.

“Guys…” she started again.

“So, you come from France, right? You don’t look French.” Said Jimmy.

“That’s because he’s not!” she shouted. “He’s half Irish, half English. Now please, come back later. I’d like to spend some time with what’s left of my family, can you guys understand that?” she muttered, losing her patience.

“Athalya!” exclaimed David, taken aback by her outburst.

Her grandparents walked in the living room.

Lya turned around and ran to her room, catching the phone on her way. She slammed the door of her bedroom shut, with all her might. She heard it crack but couldn’t care less.

She opened the window and sat on the windowsill. One leg balanced over the edge, in the air.

“Fuck it! Fuck it! FUCK IT!” she shouted.

It was with teary eyes that she contemplated the phone that was still in her hands.

To call or not to call, that was the question.

She could always try…
She dialed the all too familiar numbers and waited for someone to pick up. She didn’t even wait for someone to talk,

“B?” she asked, hopeful.

“Hey Lya, how are you?” he asked, she could feel the smile in his voice. And she burst in tears.

“Lya! Hey, what happened honey?”

“B…” she sobbed, clutching the phone to her ear, while trying to wipe her tears. “Da-…David, is here.” She said, trying to get herself in control. She felt stupid for just bursting into tears like that.

“That’s great, isn’t it? Shouldn’t you be happy about that?” he asked.

“But I am!” she exclaimed, “But they came over… They weren’t supposed to!”

“They, meaning your friends?” he asked. She heard a door closing behind him and guessed that he probably went to his studio.

“Yeah…” she sniffed. “I wanted to spend time with David, but not with them. I wanted him for myself. I know I’m being selfish, but I haven’t seen him in what feels like an eternity. I miss him, and I…”

“Don’t want to share him with anyone else. Because you feel like he’s the last thing that is relating you to your mother, to Shania. You want to keep him to yourself. That’s just normal Lya. I reacted the same way when my father died. Did you explained to them?”

She shook her head sadly, and then realized that he couldn’t see her.
“No, I just lost my patience. They wouldn’t listen to me, they were starting a conversation, completely forgetting about me, and I… I guess I just lost it and shouted. Telling them to leave.”

“I can’t say that’s not normal, because I once reacted like you with Blue, I wouldn’t let anyone touch it. But Lya, David is your step-father, he’s a human, a person, you can’t stop him from talking to your friends even though I know you probably don’t like the idea. You never stopped them from talking to your grandparents, did you?” he asked.

“No, of course. It’s not the same.”

“Would you let them meet me when I come over?” he asked.

“Fuck no!” She shouted. “No way! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no…”

“Okay, okay I get it!” he said, laughing.
“I don’t want you to meet them.”

“Afraid they would take me away?” he asked, chuckling.

Lya stayed silent on the other end. Watching her feet in the air, wiggling her toes.

“Lya, they couldn’t take me away even if they wanted to.” he said. And she felt like crying again.

“Athalya, have you told them about me?” he asked.

“Yeah…” she replied, unsure.

“Do they know who I am? Or do you refer to me as B?”

She bit her lip.

“I can’t tell them. I don’t want them to know.”

“Lya, you’re being selfish.”

“No I’m not. They don’t need to know everything that’s going on in my life. They’re always with me, always! The only time when they’re not is when I’m in the bathroom or I’m with you or at your house. Don’t take that away from me by wanting to meet them. They know you exist, that’s good enough. Because I swear to God, Billie Joe, if they take you away from me one way or another, I won’t take it. I can’t take it. I won’t survive.”

“Lya, you’re being paranoid. They’re your friends, they wouldn’t do something like that.”

“I don’t want them to meet you!” she argued.

“You’re being irrational!”

“Am I now?”

“Yes! I understand if you don’t want them to meet David, but me? Come on Lya!”

“The day they meet you, as Billie Joe Armstrong, it’ll be over my fucking dead body.” She snarled.

“Did you hear yourself Lya?!” exclaimed Billie Joe, he was rubbing his forehead, shaking his head. “We could all be like one big family…” he started.

“No! There’s you and there’s them.”
“Lya, stop being so stubborn! They are your friends right? You should trust them.”

“But I trust them!”

“then what the fuck is your problem?” he exclaimed, losing patience.

“I can’t explain. You obviously don’t understand.” She whispered, her voice breaking.

“Thank you B. See ya later. Bye.” And with that she hung up and threw the phone on her bed.

Lya let out a shaky breath, and rested her head against the bare wall, looking up at the sky.

“Maman…” she whispered, before she closed her eyes, clenching her teeth, trying to stop herself from bursting in tears once again.

Even Billie Joe himself couldn’t understand.
She had her life in HB, and her life in the bay area. She didn’t wanted to mix the two. Including David in her HB life, even that was starting to be considered as a mistake in her books. She should have asked David to stay in SF. Maybe BJ and David met once?

She had no idea why she was being like that.

It was bothering her to no end just to think that Billie Joe wanted to meet Jimmy, Brian and the others. She wasn’t ashamed of them, that wasn’t the problem.
The problem was coming from somewhere else.

If Billie Joe was anyone else, it wouldn’t even be a problem for him to meet her friends. But it was Billie Joe Armstrong.

It was her secret, something she wanted to bring into her grave.

Someone else would probably start bragging about it, about how well she was getting on with Green Day and their family, but not Lya. It was her secret. Well, not really a secret, just something she wanted to keep to herself. Something that only belonged to her.

She could imagine her life without a lot of things, without a lot of people, but not without Billie Joe, never.

Billie Joe was her hero, the man of her dreams, he was like a big brother, a father, her light into the darkness that was her mind, he was her guardian angel, he was her everything and more.