On the Edge of Eternity

I awoke with a start sometime in the night to find my room dark and Lestat no longer by my side. I was in a cold sweat, shaking and crying, slightly terrified. Not by the part of the dream that was my death but by the part of the dream where I liked killing my best friends. I sat up in bed for a moment, letting my heart begin to beat again at its normal pace. The dream began to fade, but I was thankful for that. Then something caught my attention; the light from the sitting room leaked through my cracked door, and I heard voices, Lindsey’s and Lestat’s. Ah again my curiosity, and I knew I was going to hear something I didn’t want to. This had happened to me more than once. Should I remain blissfully ignorant or should this cat waste one of its nine lives on curiosity? Yep, curiosity was killing this cat. I walked slowly over to the open door and peered around the corner, Lindsey sat on the couch her long pink hair over her hunched shoulders, head in her hands. Lestat sat on the coffee table in front of her his white silk shirt unbuttoned his shoulders too were hunched and he wore an expression of that of someone who was under a great deal of stress.
“…but, Lindsey, she almost died,” Lestat’s voice stressed her name and died.
“ I know she did.”
“Then you need to push a little bit more you remember our deal don’t you?”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m all unphased, by almost losing her, she’s my best friend.”
“It was your fault you wanted to go swimming.”
“Lets don’t play the blame game shall we. We could just as easily put this off on to Larry, Alex, and Ben for having the pot, and you for not putting for foot down and saying no drugs in the hotel.”
“ Fine,” Lestat said standing waving his hand as if she what she said was unimportant.
“I don’t like being dismissed like that,” Lindsey said her voice full of irritation.
“I’m not dismissing you Lindsey, we have having a conversation.”
“About?”
“About our agreement.”
“What about our agreement?”
“ Something tells me that you haven’t been trying hard enough.”
“What the hell do you want me to do have her hypnotized?”
“I told you, you don’t get it until she comes to me.”
“Fine!” Lindsey yelled.
“Perhaps, if I gave you the dark gift she would find it easier to give in and she would succumb,” Lestat said as he began to brush the hair off of her neck. And my foolish Lindsey bent her neck to him.
Infuriated, I pushed the door open, “You both are lucky I don’t pack my bags and let you both have each other!” I screamed, “Lindsey I need to talk to you in here, Lestat, I’ll deal with you later,” I said grabbing Lindsey by the wrist.
“Deal with me?” Lestat began as he started toward me, he must have understood my look, and allowed me to lead Lindsey into my room and shut the door with a snap.
“What the hell was that about Linz?” I asked turning on my best friend.
“We were kind of freaking out cause you almost died.”
“No the part about you becoming a vampire.”
“Amber it was never a secret that I wanted to be one and you know that.”
“Yeah but what about the part of convince me to become one so you get to be one?”
“Yeah that was the deal.”
“I told Lestat to stay away from you.”
“You don’t have the right to tell me if I can or cannot become a vampire,” Lindsey said a little louder than she meant to.
“I do when it’s my vampire who’s going to be doing it!”
“Your vampire?”
“You know what I mean!”
“No I don’t think I do!”
“I just don’t want him to be the one doing it.”
“Jealousy? Jealous of your best friend? Amber you know I would never do that, we both have loyalty complexes.”
“No, not about that! Linz I refuse to be responsible for your death,” I said fighting back the tears.
“What?” She asked , her angry face softening and putting her hand on my arm, but I pulled away.
“I…I’ve know a lot of people who have died, and I don’t want you to be one of them.”
“But I won’t really be dead.”
“Why do you want this so much?”
“Why don’t you want it, at all?”
“I asked you first.”
“Because,” Lindsey said sitting on my bed, “I’m scared to die. You know I don’t believe in anything after death, so if I don’t have to face that then I’m not going to… Do you want to die, Amber?”
“No. I have faith in something after, but I still don’t want to die. Its just something you can’t take back,” I said sitting down beside her.
“Like having sex? Is that why you’re still a virgin?”
“Its one of the reasons.”
“Amber what’s the one thing you regret not doing?”
I knew she already knew the answer to this, she was making a point and I hated her a little for it, “Not having sex with Nate.”
“And how are you going to feel if you let immortality pass you by.”
I hung my head she did have a point there, “And then look how miserable Louis was in Interview he was so unhappy, shouldn’t that be a clue that we don’t want to be vampires?”
“Touché,” Lindsey said smiling.
“But that’s not just it, I mean, here’s the paradox, “ I said as I began to pace the room, “According to Louis and Lestat, you see the world so differently when you become a vampire, even I only drank small amounts of Lestat’s blood I can see things in much greater detail, everything is so much more beautiful, but shouldn’t be when you’re a mortal things are more beautiful? I mean when your mortal, any second could be your last, each time you see a rose it could be the last time you see one. When your mortal, your time is limited, things hold meaning because you don’t have all the time in the world. Death gives life meaning. What do you hold on to when everything loses its value… when nothing has meaning?” I could tell by the look on Lindsey’s face I had touched something deep in her.
“That’s deep and philosophical, but I still don’t want to die, and I still want to be a vampire. ”
“Yeah?”
“Amber, is there no chance in hell ever that you’ll give in?”
“I didn’t say that, I mean I’m just torn.”
“I understand, Amber,” Lindsey said putting her arm around me.
“I’m sorry, I know its your decision. If you want to be a vampire, I can’t stop you, but… If you hated it I’d blame myself for having brought Lestat into your life.”
“Amber, what happened to ‘Miss I believe in fate’?”
“If you were meant to be a vampire you’ll be a vampire?” I said nodding.
“Yeah. How about we don’t talk about becoming vampires again, until our neck are in someone’s mouth,” Lindsey said smiling.
“Okay,” I said smiling glumly,” Was that our first fight?”
“I think it was. I’m glad you’re my best friend.”
“I’m glad your mine.”
We sat for a few seconds, before Lindsey spoke again,” You should go and talk to Lestat.”
“I know, but maybe I should give him sometime to cool off.”
“You think?”
“Yeah.”
“Amber, honestly, if you’re not going to be a vampire, I’ll be lonely, a hundred years from now.”
“Aw, Lindz,” I said my eyes filling with tears.
“This is border lining on some mushy gushy Gilmore Girls bonding thing, and I’m gonna pass on that.”
“Who’s Rory and who’s Lorelei?”
“I think I’m Rory,” Lindsey said smiling.
“I like Lorelei better I think I’m more like her anyways.”
“That reminds me I think I’ll call my mom tomorrow.”
“How long has it been?”
“Awhile. I don’t call her everyday like someone I know who calls their mom two or three times a day.”
“Excuse me.”
“Your excused.”
“Thank you.”