Mental

I glimpsed at my reflection in a nearby puddle. Was that me? Is that what I’ve become; a monster?
I saw a bewildered and frightened fifteen year old girl. The gun looked so unnatural in my feeble hand. It was all her fault. She made me like this. It was her from the very beginning. It’s her fault that I’m in this situation. It’s because of her that I’m in this dark alley, surrounded by police officers. On one hand I wanted kill her, but on the other I wanted to protect her.
“What do I do?” I whispered to her.
Kill them; all of them! They want to kill me! They want to kill you! Do it! Pull the trigger Hazen! Now! She answered.
“Drop the gun! We don’t want to hurt you. Just put the gun on the ground and step away from it,” one of the officers shouted at me.
Don’t do it! They’re lying. I’m the only one you can trust!
I thought back to all the trouble she had caused me in these past couple of years. I used to be a good person. I used to have friends…
“You’re lying!” I shouted at the men. “You want to hurt her. You want to kill her!”
“Hazen!”
I glanced past the officers and saw my mother.
“Mom,” I whispered.
I lowered the weapon slightly.
“Hazen, what are you doing? Look at yourself, baby. This isn’t you. You’re sick. Please put the gun down and let us help you.”
I looked at my reflection again. I looked at the dying police officer on the ground. Blood seeping from the wound I had given him.
I was a monster…a monster...a monster… I didn’t deserve to live. I had taken people lives, good people; people who had jobs, spouses, and children.
No, Hazen! I know what you’re thinking! Don’t do it! If you die, so do I! The voice screamed at me.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to everyone, even though most could not hear me.
I raised my hand that contained the weapon that had killed so many and placed the barrel to the side of my head.
“No, Hazen! Please no!” My mother yelled. “We can help you!”
“It’s too late. I don’t deserve life.”
I drew my finger back and pulled the trigger.