Thunderstorms & Bad Dreams
The thunder seemed to crack like bats, three inches from your ear.
The thunder boomed and the lightning flashed, illuminating the room for a brief moment.
Jeph was asleep- finally asleep- with his face pressed tightly into Dan’s chest, so tightly that Dan wasn’t sure if he was getting oxygen anymore. The storm had been raging for the last two hours and Jepha had only been asleep for fifteen minutes. It had taken a lot of coaxing, a million and one soft songs, and Dan allowing Jeph to crawl on his lap then Dan having to hold him before his oh-so-heavy eyelids slipped shut.
In the beginning, when the storm had just begun, the brown-eyed man had come into the other’s room, asking if he wanted to have a cup of coffee or something before bed. When Dan had refused, he asked about a cookie. Again, Dan had declined. Then the first clap of thunder sounded and echoed in the nearly empty room and the bassist had just begged Dan to come and sit with him.
On their last movie night, Dan had decided he wanted to watch Twister, Night of the Twisters, and Atomic Twister all in the same night. Jeph hadn’t seemed too bothered at the end of the movies, but now, with the first signs of storms, it was obviously untrue.
So Dan had agreed and as they were walking to the kitchen and the lightning had flashed next to the window, he let him bound their hands together. Jeph looked embarrassed- something no one ever saw- but he was too terrified to play it cool or apologize, he just continued clinging to Dan and staying quiet. When they reached the kitchen, Jeph reluctantly let go and walked to the cabinet, grabbing a pack of Oreos.
“Thunderstorms have scared me ever since I was little and it rained really hard, so hard that things fell off the walls. I heard the fire alarm sounding tornado thing from the next town over. The power was out and everything. I was like, five and there was no one home for me to go to,” he said quietly, a blush rising on his cheeks. Dan immediately felt his heart go out to the younger man and instantly wasn’t so annoyed with the whole situation.
The rain had come down in absolute sheets, making the frame of the early 1900’s house quiver slightly. The thunder cracked like wooden bats shattering three inches from your ear and the lightning seemed to strike four foot away. Jepha’s eyes were clenched shut and his smaller frame was trembling. Dan didn’t stop to think when his arms reached toward the terrified man and pulled him into a tight hug. Jeph’s arms wrapped around his middle and his face buried into the crook of his neck tightly with his nose pressed to Dan’s neck.
Dan held him steady for five full minutes before Jeph pulled back, just a little.
“Can we, um, go to your bedroom? There’re no, um, windows in there.” He stuttered through the sentence, his eyes locked on the flashes of light beaming through the windows every ten seconds. The thunder clapped loudly again and Jeph fell back into Dan’s arms and mumbled a plea into the older man’s neck.
Dan agreed quickly, his heart close to shattering in sadness for Jeph’s fear. He blamed himself: those fucking tornado movies were such a bad idea. Terrible idea.
Dan flipped the lightswitch on as they entered the small and slightly claustrophobic room and noticed Jepha loosen, just a little. He felt the sigh of relief hit his neck and Jeph pull away, his gaze not meeting Dan’s.
“I’m sorry I’m being such a fucking pussy. I kind of blocked that night from my mind and just slept through storms, but then the tornado movies and this storm starting off so rough…”
“I’m sorry, Jepha,” Dan murmured softly and held his arms open.
Eventually, they’d fallen to the bed, Jepha still trembling just the slightest bit in the other’s arms, and the drummer tried his best to distract the scared man from the fright outside the doors.
“Tell me a secret,” he mumbled directly into Jeph’s ear and rubbed his jaw against the head that was resting in the crook of his shoulder.
“What kind of secret?” Jeph asked, his voice muffled.
“One no one knows.”
Jeph hesitated and resituated himself beside Dan, obviously fidgeting to avoid answering.
“I tell you guys everything,” he said quietly, now only barely flinching with every crack of thunder.
“There’s got to be something, Howard,” Dan dared, quiet but jokingly. Jepha was silent for another minute or so.
“Something no one knows?” Dan nodded in response, grinning and anxious for the long-awaited answer.
“I guess… I guess I’m attracted to one of the guys in the band,” he finally said. Dan’s heart skipped a beat and he let out a cough of surprise. Jeph wasn’t meeting his eyes, but he didn’t seem embarrassed. He was finally back to the Jeph that Dan was used to and Dan would’ve felt relief, had he not been so surprised.
Instead of asking “why?” or “what?!” like any straight man would, Dan asked, “… Who?”
“Ah, now that’s a different deep dark secret, dearest Daniel,” he joked though he was serious. “So now, it’s your turn.”
Dan shook his head, trying to calm his stuttering heart and tried to grin. “That’s not part of the deal. I’m only here to distract you.”
“Exactly. One secret, please.”
Dan racked his brain, almost immediately figuring out why Jeph had taken so long to respond. There was only one thing popping into his brain and he did not want to say that. It would seem like he was either pressuring Jeph into something, or just copying for the fun of it. And Dan wasn’t trying to do either of those; he just felt the need to spill his guts. And that’s exactly what he did.
“I’m currently questioning my sexuality. Things are getting confusing, as of now. I don’t like it, but it’s not some terrible feeling, like I figured it would be. Not that I’ve thought about being gay or bisexual. And I’m not copying what you just said or anything, it’s just the only thing that popped into my head, I swear. And I’m not trying to force you to say anything, if that’s what you’re thinking-”
Jeph’s laugh cut him off and Dan’s already wide eyes got just the slightest bit wider.
“I know, Dan-O. You’re fine.” Dan mentally wiped his brow of any perspiration that could’ve been settling there.
“Your turn, again,” Dan said, and leaned in, ready for the name of the band member to spill from those pink lips.
“I’ve been questioning my sexuality for a while. Since around the start of ’07, I’d guess.”
“Aw, c’mon, Jeph! That’s so not fucking fair! I wanna know who you got the hots for!” Dan exclaimed, leaning forward, two or so inches from Jeph’s face.
“Tell me, please! I’ll do anything! I’m desperate; you’re killing me!” he said, excitedly, his eyebrows four yards off his head.
Jeph grinned and looked into Dan’s eyes for a moment, before leaning forward and attaching their lips in a slow kiss.
Jeph was first to pull away, taking in a deep breath of air.
“Answer enough, you anxious motherfucker?”
“Hell no, do it again,” Dan stated against the bassist’s lips.
It was just after Dan had braved up just enough to slide a warm hand under Jeph’s shirt when the loudest thunder yet echoed through the small room and the power flickered out. Jeph pulled back immediately and grabbed Dan’s hand tightly.
“Dan…” he whimpered, barely audible over the rain pelting the roof of the spacious house.
“Ssh, baby, I’m here,” he whispered and pulled the smaller body closer to his. “Block it out, talk to me; tell me anything, just talk. Sing, if you need to.”
So Jeph did and eventually, around three, he’d finally fallen asleep.
And that was how they were now, Jepha resting soundly in Dan’s arms, his head against the only thing keeping him safe: Dan’s steadily beating heart. He’s calm and unaware of his surroundings. Dan is drifting in and out of a doze, wanting to sleep but not wanting to miss the feeling of Jeph on top of him, his warmth keeping the drummer himself warm.
And from then on out, that’s how it would be, the two together, working through the storms.
Jeph was asleep- finally asleep- with his face pressed tightly into Dan’s chest, so tightly that Dan wasn’t sure if he was getting oxygen anymore. The storm had been raging for the last two hours and Jepha had only been asleep for fifteen minutes. It had taken a lot of coaxing, a million and one soft songs, and Dan allowing Jeph to crawl on his lap then Dan having to hold him before his oh-so-heavy eyelids slipped shut.
In the beginning, when the storm had just begun, the brown-eyed man had come into the other’s room, asking if he wanted to have a cup of coffee or something before bed. When Dan had refused, he asked about a cookie. Again, Dan had declined. Then the first clap of thunder sounded and echoed in the nearly empty room and the bassist had just begged Dan to come and sit with him.
On their last movie night, Dan had decided he wanted to watch Twister, Night of the Twisters, and Atomic Twister all in the same night. Jeph hadn’t seemed too bothered at the end of the movies, but now, with the first signs of storms, it was obviously untrue.
So Dan had agreed and as they were walking to the kitchen and the lightning had flashed next to the window, he let him bound their hands together. Jeph looked embarrassed- something no one ever saw- but he was too terrified to play it cool or apologize, he just continued clinging to Dan and staying quiet. When they reached the kitchen, Jeph reluctantly let go and walked to the cabinet, grabbing a pack of Oreos.
“Thunderstorms have scared me ever since I was little and it rained really hard, so hard that things fell off the walls. I heard the fire alarm sounding tornado thing from the next town over. The power was out and everything. I was like, five and there was no one home for me to go to,” he said quietly, a blush rising on his cheeks. Dan immediately felt his heart go out to the younger man and instantly wasn’t so annoyed with the whole situation.
The rain had come down in absolute sheets, making the frame of the early 1900’s house quiver slightly. The thunder cracked like wooden bats shattering three inches from your ear and the lightning seemed to strike four foot away. Jepha’s eyes were clenched shut and his smaller frame was trembling. Dan didn’t stop to think when his arms reached toward the terrified man and pulled him into a tight hug. Jeph’s arms wrapped around his middle and his face buried into the crook of his neck tightly with his nose pressed to Dan’s neck.
Dan held him steady for five full minutes before Jeph pulled back, just a little.
“Can we, um, go to your bedroom? There’re no, um, windows in there.” He stuttered through the sentence, his eyes locked on the flashes of light beaming through the windows every ten seconds. The thunder clapped loudly again and Jeph fell back into Dan’s arms and mumbled a plea into the older man’s neck.
Dan agreed quickly, his heart close to shattering in sadness for Jeph’s fear. He blamed himself: those fucking tornado movies were such a bad idea. Terrible idea.
Dan flipped the lightswitch on as they entered the small and slightly claustrophobic room and noticed Jepha loosen, just a little. He felt the sigh of relief hit his neck and Jeph pull away, his gaze not meeting Dan’s.
“I’m sorry I’m being such a fucking pussy. I kind of blocked that night from my mind and just slept through storms, but then the tornado movies and this storm starting off so rough…”
“I’m sorry, Jepha,” Dan murmured softly and held his arms open.
Eventually, they’d fallen to the bed, Jepha still trembling just the slightest bit in the other’s arms, and the drummer tried his best to distract the scared man from the fright outside the doors.
“Tell me a secret,” he mumbled directly into Jeph’s ear and rubbed his jaw against the head that was resting in the crook of his shoulder.
“What kind of secret?” Jeph asked, his voice muffled.
“One no one knows.”
Jeph hesitated and resituated himself beside Dan, obviously fidgeting to avoid answering.
“I tell you guys everything,” he said quietly, now only barely flinching with every crack of thunder.
“There’s got to be something, Howard,” Dan dared, quiet but jokingly. Jepha was silent for another minute or so.
“Something no one knows?” Dan nodded in response, grinning and anxious for the long-awaited answer.
“I guess… I guess I’m attracted to one of the guys in the band,” he finally said. Dan’s heart skipped a beat and he let out a cough of surprise. Jeph wasn’t meeting his eyes, but he didn’t seem embarrassed. He was finally back to the Jeph that Dan was used to and Dan would’ve felt relief, had he not been so surprised.
Instead of asking “why?” or “what?!” like any straight man would, Dan asked, “… Who?”
“Ah, now that’s a different deep dark secret, dearest Daniel,” he joked though he was serious. “So now, it’s your turn.”
Dan shook his head, trying to calm his stuttering heart and tried to grin. “That’s not part of the deal. I’m only here to distract you.”
“Exactly. One secret, please.”
Dan racked his brain, almost immediately figuring out why Jeph had taken so long to respond. There was only one thing popping into his brain and he did not want to say that. It would seem like he was either pressuring Jeph into something, or just copying for the fun of it. And Dan wasn’t trying to do either of those; he just felt the need to spill his guts. And that’s exactly what he did.
“I’m currently questioning my sexuality. Things are getting confusing, as of now. I don’t like it, but it’s not some terrible feeling, like I figured it would be. Not that I’ve thought about being gay or bisexual. And I’m not copying what you just said or anything, it’s just the only thing that popped into my head, I swear. And I’m not trying to force you to say anything, if that’s what you’re thinking-”
Jeph’s laugh cut him off and Dan’s already wide eyes got just the slightest bit wider.
“I know, Dan-O. You’re fine.” Dan mentally wiped his brow of any perspiration that could’ve been settling there.
“Your turn, again,” Dan said, and leaned in, ready for the name of the band member to spill from those pink lips.
“I’ve been questioning my sexuality for a while. Since around the start of ’07, I’d guess.”
“Aw, c’mon, Jeph! That’s so not fucking fair! I wanna know who you got the hots for!” Dan exclaimed, leaning forward, two or so inches from Jeph’s face.
“Tell me, please! I’ll do anything! I’m desperate; you’re killing me!” he said, excitedly, his eyebrows four yards off his head.
Jeph grinned and looked into Dan’s eyes for a moment, before leaning forward and attaching their lips in a slow kiss.
Jeph was first to pull away, taking in a deep breath of air.
“Answer enough, you anxious motherfucker?”
“Hell no, do it again,” Dan stated against the bassist’s lips.
It was just after Dan had braved up just enough to slide a warm hand under Jeph’s shirt when the loudest thunder yet echoed through the small room and the power flickered out. Jeph pulled back immediately and grabbed Dan’s hand tightly.
“Dan…” he whimpered, barely audible over the rain pelting the roof of the spacious house.
“Ssh, baby, I’m here,” he whispered and pulled the smaller body closer to his. “Block it out, talk to me; tell me anything, just talk. Sing, if you need to.”
So Jeph did and eventually, around three, he’d finally fallen asleep.
And that was how they were now, Jepha resting soundly in Dan’s arms, his head against the only thing keeping him safe: Dan’s steadily beating heart. He’s calm and unaware of his surroundings. Dan is drifting in and out of a doze, wanting to sleep but not wanting to miss the feeling of Jeph on top of him, his warmth keeping the drummer himself warm.
And from then on out, that’s how it would be, the two together, working through the storms.
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