Addict: Setting the World on Fire
Entry 19
Dear Someone,
Yay went running. That’s my anti-depressant. Take THAT, insainity. My fucking happy pill. And I’ll finally be able to honestly lose the weight I’ve gained, if I continue this, as I plan. Court tomorrow. Bring out the violins; I have to act like I truly regret what I did. Shit, knowing me… or i… or whoever is going to be standing there in my body… will break down if Craig Ford is there. He’s a good man. A good good man. See, writing down my deeds has killed me before, so why do it again? Because I fucking want to. I’ve got my suicide all planned out - why am I so giddy about it? - carve ‘INSAIN’ into my left forearm and enjoy that for a little while, like I did ‘KNIVES’. Then down a bottle of pills. Yes, I’m melodramatic. I’ll probably drown this diary in my blood, too. Christ, put me on a soap opera. You know, those really aren’t that bad to watch, when the only thing else on is Barney.
Shit, now I know why I did so well for such a long time; running really does help - except for the monsters and pills and cutting. Yay irony. Go Pete Wentz.
Yay went running. That’s my anti-depressant. Take THAT, insainity. My fucking happy pill. And I’ll finally be able to honestly lose the weight I’ve gained, if I continue this, as I plan. Court tomorrow. Bring out the violins; I have to act like I truly regret what I did. Shit, knowing me… or i… or whoever is going to be standing there in my body… will break down if Craig Ford is there. He’s a good man. A good good man. See, writing down my deeds has killed me before, so why do it again? Because I fucking want to. I’ve got my suicide all planned out - why am I so giddy about it? - carve ‘INSAIN’ into my left forearm and enjoy that for a little while, like I did ‘KNIVES’. Then down a bottle of pills. Yes, I’m melodramatic. I’ll probably drown this diary in my blood, too. Christ, put me on a soap opera. You know, those really aren’t that bad to watch, when the only thing else on is Barney.
Shit, now I know why I did so well for such a long time; running really does help - except for the monsters and pills and cutting. Yay irony. Go Pete Wentz.