Still so Young - Desperate for Attention

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Ryan.

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Have you ever gone through depression? I am sure you have. If you haven't then you probably will. Well, I am going through one. It's definitely not my first and it certainly won't be my last. I lay here in my bedroom floor, blasting my Fall Out Boy CD, with the bass all the way up, and my head against the speaker, causing me to flinch every now and then. My mom came in here a while ago and told me to turn it down. I just stared at her. She got the hint and left. What is the cause of this depression, you may ask? Well...let me start from the beginning.

Me. My name is George Ryan Ross. My parents are divorced. I stay with my mom during the school week and at my dad's -an hour away- on weekends. I just lost my 2nd girlfriend. Yes, only second. I'm feeling very nostalgic. She wants to still be friends, but she avoids me at all cost. My best friend is out of town, Spencer Smith. His grandma just died -she lived all the way across the U.S. -so they went to the funeral. He'll come home, cheer me up, but I don't want him to. I want to not have girlfriend trouble and just find "the one" already. I don't want Spencer to keep telling me to "just wait and it's not as bad as I think being single". I want someone that will just tell me they love me and stay in my arms forever...or just give me a good fuck. I mean, seriously, Nicole, you call that a hand job?! Nicole was my first girlfriend, but my second one -the one that broke my heart-, her name was Jac Vanek. She had the dumbest reason for breaking up with me, too. "I just don't want a boyfriend right now." her exact words, otherwise known as “Bullshit”.

So here I lay. CD's are slowly sliding off the stereo and hitting me on the head. Oh, well, they weren't organized anyway. I've listened to this CD 4 1/2 times now. I am disgusting. My hair is greasy, my eyeliner's smeared, my clothes are dirty, and I smell. I need to get up and take a shower. I slowly slid up curling into a ball on my knees and rubbing my eyes. I reached forward and turned the knob on the stereo all the way down until it clicked off. I sat there for a second letting my head pound and the silence take place. Sighing, I stood up and turned around. I looked up to see a cross legged Spencer sitting on my bed.

"What the hell?!" I yelled heart pounding in my chest.

"Is this all you did while I was gone?" he asked.

"You wish. I was just clearing my head."

"And what made you need to clear your head?" I shrugged.

"Life. How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to hear the same CD 2 times."

"Gosh. Creeper, you just sat there...watching me." I shuddered.

"I wasn't sure if you were breathing or not. You look terrible.” I glared.

"Thanks, nice to see you, too. Let me take a shower." I sighed going into the small bathroom across from my room. I turned on the water, not bothering to adjust the temperature and stepping in. It was freezing cold, but I didn't care. I washed my hair twice, because, yes, I actually repeat after I lather and rinse. I got out and shook the water out of my hair, soaking the mirror. I brushed my fingers through it and walked back into my room with the towel around my waist.

"So, I was thinking that this weekend, you should come over and stay with me, since I haven't seen you all week." Spencer suggested.

"I can't. My dad needs me home, but next week we can hang out." I said quickly.

"We haven't hung out on weekends since we were seven." Spencer sighed.

"It's the only time I get to see my dad!" I defended.

"Well..." Spencer started, but shrugged instead, "Hobo!" he called breaking the silence as I slipped on my shirt and some boxers. My little dog shuffled out from under the bed and hopped onto his lap.

"Hey, boy!" he smiled.

"Girl, Spencer! She is a girl!" I groaned.

"Sorry. You are the one who named her Hobo!" he said petting her.

"How was the funeral?" I asked plopping down cross legged next to him.

"Boring. I didn't know her, so I didn't cry, so I got yelled at for not being sympathetic!" I laughed.

"So what's the cause of your depression?" he asked. Damn, he knows me too well.

"Jac broke up with me." I said running my hand through my soaked hair.

"Dude, why don't you just wait? Being single isn't bad. You look for girlfriends so much that when the right person comes along and you get in a serious relationship, you'll freak out.
You're still young!" he ranted. Told you!

"Spencer! I just want someone already, you know that!" I argued.

"Whatever. Come on." he said pulling me off the bed and throwing some pants at me. I slipped them on and followed him.

"Bye, Mrs. Ross!" Spencer called pulling me out the door.

"See ya boys! Remember, Ryan, we have to meet your dad at 7." mom yelled as I got in
Spencer's car. It was pretty nice, good condition.

"Is Brent going to be at practice?" I asked leaning the seat back.

"No. Trevor is though." Spencer said turning on some Blink-182. I groaned.

"Why can't he ever make it?"

"He lives out by your dad, it's hard for him to pay for gas!" he defended. I rolled my eyes.

"He's probably just getting Ben and Jerry's again."

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Brendon.

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"Will, put that down!" I snapped to my younger brother as he picked up my guitar. He
dropped it back in its case, but one of the strings snagged on his jacket and broke.

"William!" I groaned. He stared down at the guitar wide eyed.

"I was just going to play a song. I didn't mean to!" he said quickly, eyes watering.

"It's fine. It's fine. I have another string, please, just be careful. Ask me if you want something, okay?" I sighed pulling another string out of the pocket on the front of the case.

He nodded slowly, watching what I was doing intently. I switched out the strings and mom called us down for dinner.

William is autistic. He's 15, a freshman in high school, 2 grades below me. He tries, he really does. I love him. I used to not understand why he couldn't do what I did, or why I had to help him with his homework every single day.

"You guys okay?" mom asked giving me a stern look.

"Yeah, mom." Will smiled. She gave me one more hard look before taking a bite of her dinner.

"Hey, mom, some of my friends are going to Ben and Jerry's tonight." I started after I cleared my plate.

"Are you going to take William?" she asked looking across the table at where William was
looking at me eyes full of hope.

"I'll bring him home something." I offered. His expression fell a bit and mom gave me another glare.

"Will, go put your plate in the sink and get ready." she said, eyes not leaving me. He smiled and jumped up clumsily running through the dining room -plate in hand- and to the kitchen.

He dashed back past us up the stairs.

"Mom-"

"No. You're taking him." she said.

"Why can't Kara take him somewhere?" I whined. Yes, I have another sibling. Kara. She's in college, but still living at home.

"I have stuff to do." Kara said simply.

"I want him to go, but my friends get annoyed. If it was my choice he really would go. I just don't want them to be mad at me for bringing him." I sighed.

"They'll get over it." mom sighed taking her plate to the sink. I groaned and went upstairs. I slid into my converse and my red T-shirt and messed with my hair, leaving my bangs to fall in my face before stepping back into the hallway.

"Ready to go?!" Will asked enthusiastically. I smiled and nodded.
I went downstairs and looked on the table for my car keys. They weren't there.

"Mom! Have you seen m-" I was cut off by keys and that familiar coca-cola keychain dangling in my face.

"Will, why do you have my keys?" I asked quickly.

"I picked them up before I went upstairs so you wouldn't forget them." he said quickly.

"I wouldn't forget them, don't pick up my keys, okay? Remember; ask me if you want something." I said trying to be patient. I headed out the front door locking it behind us and
pressing the button that unlocks the car. William ran and got in the passenger seat, buckling up. I got in and turned on the car.

"Forgot your seat belt." Will pointed.

"Oh…yeah." I nodded pulling it across me and snapping it in place. He smiled and rolled
down the window. I pulled out and headed down the street towards Ben and Jerry's.

"Don't do that." I snapped as William stuck one hand out the window.

"Why not?" he asked frowning.

"Cause a car could come by and hit your hand." I sighed.

"Could not!" he argued.

"Yes, Will, it could."

"Nuh-uh." he argued. I rolled my eyes and ignored him. Until I saw out of the corner of my
eyes he was slowly sticking his hand back out the window.

"Roll the window up." I said quickly.

"No."

Luckily in the driver’s seat you have access to all 4 windows. I rolled up his and put it on Child lock. He tried to roll it back down and groaned when it wouldn't go. I sighed and pulled into the parking lot of Ben and Jerry's.

"Come on." I said before unbuckling my seatbelt and getting out of the car. I saw my familiar group of friends crowded inside around a table. We got inside and all of their expressions fell, when they saw Will, all but a few. They instantly walked over.

"Hey, William!” Greta said giving him a hug. He returned it muttering a 'You smell pretty'. She laughed and thanked him.

"Hey, Brendon." They went through the same routine. Greta Salpeter, Gabe Saporta, and
Nick Wheeler, are my only friends that truly like Will.

"Okay, Will, what kind do you want?" I asked motioning to the ice cream. After looking excitedly at all the ice cream, he squeaked a bit and pointed to one. 'Fish Food'. That's what he always gets, but if I ever dared to order it without asking him first he would freak.
I dug out my money and had just enough for the small scoop of chocolate I got, and the fish
food for Will. Before handing him his cone I wrapped it in a couple napkins, hoping to avoid a sticky mess. I slid onto the end of the booth and looked around at the familiar faces. Greta, Nick, William, Brent, Gabe, Ryland, Victoria, Hayley, Nate, Alex and a scruffy guy I hadn't met before. I raised an eyebrow.

"This is Jon." Greta introduced, "He's my friend from Chicago, We hung out all the time before I moved up here, and he convinced the 'rents to let him go to college up here."

"This has to be the best city to go to college in, it's so perfect!" William said then looked over at me, "Right, Brendon?"

I could disagree, say that there are much prettier and safer cities than this one, but all I did was grinned and nodded.

"Anyway, Jon, this is Brendon and William." Greta finished.

“You can call me Will.” Will cut in. Jon smiled and nodded. I’m sure Greta told him about Will, or he can just tell.