Breathe Easy the Doctors Are About to Arrive

I pulled my hood over my head tightly. It was raining outside, and the rain was cold. The rain calmed me though, and it was nice. My feet made splashes through Bryan’s yard as I walked to the familiar white front door. I knocked once, really loud. The door opened immediately, showing an eager faced Jessi behind it. I scanned her face, and she squinted her eyes at me like she was trying to figure something out. She let me in and I walked in hopelessly, sitting on the couch. I felt her eyes on the back of my neck, and now I had Bryan’s eyes focusing in on me as well. I clenched my jaws awkwardly, containing my emotions inside my own little box that was my mind. I sat down on the couch next to Bryan and crossed my legs mindlessly, sighing and staring off into space like a mad man.

“….Okay…” Bryan commented. I turned my head to him slowly and my eyes directly met his. Jessi shut the door slowly, and I knew that they were both freaked out about my odd behavior. “What’s wrong?” Bryan demanded. I closed my eyes and sighed again, resting my head in my hand.

“What the fuck is going on?” Jessi demanded as well. I sighed once again, this time more heavy.

“Where’s Max?” I muttered, ignoring them.

“Upstairs...he hasn’t came down since he got home last night, he won’t fucking talk to either of us...what happened?” Jessi spat out. I heard the bedroom door open upstairs and my eyes raced to the right of me. I saw Max’s middle torso nearing the stairs, and then he was coming down them. I hid my face, and I didn’t know why. “Alright, fuck it,” Jessi snapped, walking into the kitchen to do whatever. Bryan however, watched intently, crossing his arms. I hid my face with my hood, and I looked down at Max’s legs and feet that were now under the arm of the couch. He hovered around me nervously, and I lifted my head slowly and gradually. My eyes traveled up his body and to his face, I took in every little detail of him. He was wearing his usual tighter than necessary pants, no shoes, and a black shirt that looked like he just got out of bed. He wasn’t looking at me, but for some reason I wished he was. He brought his focus back to me slowly, feeling my stare on him. His eyes were cloudy and very blood shot.

“Max,” I breathed. He clenched his teeth and looked away. Bryan let out an awkward cough behind me and I stood up slowly, going to wrap my arms around Max. I stopped in front of him and tilted my head to the side, slowly and carefully. He looked away, like he was ashamed. I grabbed his chin and made him look at me, but I saw something that I didn’t want to see; the familiarly dreadful white powder residue around his nose. I gasped and my hand tightened around his chin, my nails digging into his skin momentarily. I shoved him away angrily and he closed his eyes, containing himself. “What the fuck is wrong with you!” I shouted.

“What?” Bryan asked, standing up and walking over to Max. I started crying, and I couldn’t watch what was going to happen next. Bryan gasped just like I had, and it made him sound almost like a girl.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT BULLSHIT IN MY HOUSE!” he roared. I winced and ran into the kitchen to Jessi.

“What’s going on now?” Jessi growled, bumping into me, which forced me to stay where I was. I sat there, in the middle of all of them, with my face in my hands, crying.

“Look underneath his nose!” Bryan spat, and Jessi did.

“Oh my god,” she groaned, running back into the kitchen for god knows what.

“Now what the fuck are we gonna do!” Bryan yelled, aiming it toward Jessi.

“I know,” Max offered quietly, as he swallowed a lump in his throat and ran his hand through his hair like always. He hesitated, but then trudged out the door, slamming it shut behind him. I looked at Bryan's angry face, then at the door, then back at Bryan. I sobbed and finally ran out the door after him. I heard Jessi screaming at the top of her lungs at Bryan as I left.

I sprinted to keep up with Max, and I didn’t even care that my jacket was unzipped and that my hood was off. Max had no jacket on, just a shirt and pants, not even shoes.

“Max,” I begged. I grabbed his arm but he shook me off. I finally got in front of him, and I grabbed his shoulders, not letting him go for anything. He was much stronger than me, but I was using my nails. He looked past me and just blinked his eyes over and over again. “Max,” I started, grabbing his face and making him look at me again. His hair was wet now, but I didn’t care. “Everyone makes mistakes,” I said softly, looking at him hopefully. His facial expression softened, and he chewed on his bottom lip to keep it from quivering, then he closed his eyes. I did the only thing that I thought of that would stop what was coming next. I wrapped my arms around him, and he wrapped his around me. I closed my eyes, savoring how it felt for just a minute, then I tried my words. “I’ll always love you, no matter what decisions you make...or how stupid they are... I decided that last night,” I told him in his ear, it sounded like I was simply making conversation. We stood there, in the middle of the sidewalk, while the rain poured down on us like bath water. “We’re never going to get trashed like that, ever again…” I told him. “Then this won’t happen,” I continued. He hung onto me and nuzzled his face into my dripping wet hair, I could feel his nose on my neck.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and his body started trembling.

“No,” I told him firmly. “It was an accident, I’m over it, I love you just the same,” I told him. He squeezed me and I broke away just enough to see eye to eye with him. His eyes were sick and sad, and his wet hair was sticking to his wet face. I smiled at him weakly and took the sleeve of my jacket, wiping the forbidden white powder off of his nose like a mother would a child. I glared at the white residue that was now on my sleeve and I wiped it on my jeans. It was like I was angry at it and not him. I focused back on him and rested my hand against his face, looking into his eyes. “Why are we standing out in the rain?" I asked him, looking down at his wet shirt that was sticking to him like no other. He finally smiled, which made me smile even bigger, and I giggled. He leaned down and kissed me, and it turned into this deep, passionate thing. His cheeks were cold and wet, and so was his hair. “Let’s go back, okay?” I begged him, laughing and shivering through the kiss after a moment of light headedness. He sighed, troubled, and I agreed. “Yeah, I know,” I told him, and we both laughed. We walked back to Bryan’s door, and hovered around on the porch for a minute, waiting for the tension inside of the house to die down.

"Bryan! Just shut up, SHUT UP! I DON'T CARE...I'M OVER IT!" Jessi screamed, it sounded like her throat was ripping. It sounded like she was getting closer to the door. I looked up at Max like a scared puppy would, and he laughed a little bit, wrapping his arms around me to make me feel better. Jessi threw the door open and ran right smack into me. My head bumped into her mouth, and it hurt, but all I could say was, "Ouch".

"WHAT THE FUCK!" She shrieked, pulling away and holding her mouth. She was bleeding and I thought she was going to kill me. Instead, she did something I would never expect from Jessi, she started crying. My jaw dropped, and my eyes scanned her face back and forth. I swallowed and just watched her. She held her mouth as the blood came pouring out into her hand and she closed her eyes, blinking a lot, probably trying to hide the fact that she was crying. She ran past me, but she tripped and fell over the concrete flower bed that was on Bryan's porch.

"Shit," I mumbled. I heard slamming in the house, and I looked at Jessi, she wasn't moving, just sitting there against the house, her face in her hands dripping blood and tears. "You go take care of Bryan, I'll-" I started, but Max kissed me and then turned and went inside the house without another word. "Okay," I said to the door, my eyes drifting over toward Jessi. I could only faintly hear her groans and cries through the rain. I walked over to her slowly, my feet making splashes on the sidewalk. The rain was still pouring, and I was glad I was already soaking wet and used to it. I sat beside her, just waiting for her to calm down and say anything, anything at all. I watched the ground, the grass was green and poking up through the muddy, soaked ground. Then I watched the sky, the gray clouds racing past my eye site like something you would only see in movies. A raindrop fell in my eye and I jumped, wiping it furiously.

"I hate it when me and Bryan fight," Jessi said, her voice was hoarse from yelling and crying. She sniffled and pushed her now wet hair back out of her face. I scooted closer to her, bringing my knees to my chest and hugging them.

"I know," was all I could muster. I stared out at the house across the street, and the way the rain drops dripped off the bottom of the car in the drive way kept my mind busy. Jessi sighed and I hugged her mindlessly. All of this fighting, and all of the things that happened when I got here had already made me numb. I squeezed her though, and shut my eyes.

"Thanks. I love you," she told me sincerely.

"Love you too," I mumbled into her shoulder.

"Can we go inside?" I mumbled. I was cold and wet, and I wanted to take a shower.

"Yeah....I guess....I hope Bryan's okay," she rambled. I nodded.

"Max is talking to him, and plus I can help you get rid of that blood on your knee and on your chin," I told her. I stood up and grabbed her hand, taking her inside.