Breathe Easy the Doctors Are About to Arrive

That day, after I calmed Jessi down and after Max had calmed Bryan down, we decided we'd all have a talk. We sat around the kitchen table and Max basically promised Bryan he wouldn't do the drugs in his house anymore, while Jessi and Bryan almost started crying on one another from apologizing so many times. Shortly after, that night when I went to sleep, I felt more comfortable than usual when Max put his arm around me and we slept. But I knew somehow, that this wasn't all, it wouldn't just end like this, something bad would happen again. I fought with myself endlessly inside of my head until I fell asleep.

I woke up to a lit room. I didn't feel Max beside me, and the room was too quiet. It gave me an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I got up off of the bed, in just my underwear and an oversized shirt that I had borrowed from Bryan a long time ago. I walked to the bathroom, because the door was shut. My instincts led me to it anyhow. I pushed the door open and I flipped the light on. I looked down at the body that was in front of the toilet, it was Max's of course. I thought he was dead for a second, so I just sat there, staring at him like I was crazy. I bent down finally and felt his pulse, it was beating and healthy.

"Max," I said, yawning and shaking him.
My voice was hoarse and it cracked with sleepiness. His eyes opened slowly and his eyes stared blankly into mine.

"I wish you wouldn‘t have woke me up," he said. He sounded like he was dehydrated to say the least. I knew something was wrong from the point when I got up out of the bed. My heart started picking up pace, and all I could do was rest my hand on his chest. I don't know why I did, I guess I thought he was going to die right there in front of me, and touching him made me feel better.

"Why?" I demanded, rubbing back and forth across his chest with the palm of my hand.
His arms popped when he moved them, and his whole body started trembling at once. He sat up, put his face against his knees, and shook. It sounded like he was having a seizure, because he was having trouble breathing just as much as he was trembling. Now I knew what was wrong, this had happened to me before. He was having withdrawals, and bad ones at that. He raised his head up, and he looked at me with eyes full of fear, weakness, and shame. I leaned to him and wrapped my arms around his shaking body. I thought I could take care of it for the most part.

"Go…get...Jessi," Max stuttered, sweat coming down his forehead.

"I can take care of you. It's okay, I've had these before, you just have to ride them out," I told him, pressing my nose against his cheek. I felt his hair brush against my face, and I closed my eyes. I rocked back and forth as he shook and trembled and gasped for breath. His shaking got worse, and it really did feel like a seizure this time, as his body made mine shake along with him. I put my hand underneath his chin, and I looked into his eyes as he would always do to me. They were barely open, and his face was flushed.
"I love you," I said to him, making sure my voice was clear. I wanted to cry seeing him like this, but there was nothing he or I could do about it at this moment.

"Go get Jessi," he whispered to me, closing his eyes. Just when I started to protest, his nose started gushing thick amounts of blood. I bit my lip to keep it from quivering and I started talking into his ear.

"I'll go get Jessi. You're not going to die. I know it feels like that, but you're not. I promise I won't let you die," I told him. I closed my eyes, and kissed him on the cheek. He nodded and for just a minute he wrapped his arms around me and held me. I held him back, and I let myself cry a little bit. I was done fighting with my tear ducts for now. I stood up and took one last look at him, I left the door open, and I ran to Jessi & Bryan's room. I figured it was early in the morning from the light that came through the window. "Jessi!" I screamed, practically pounding down Bryan's door.

"What the fuck, man," I heard Bryan mutter quietly.

"Jessi, Max is having withdrawals!" I screamed. I laid my head against the cool wood and waited for her to come out. In about 5 seconds she came barging through the door, in her pajama pants and a tank, her long, natural black hair hanging around her shoulders like she had just woke up. She practically ran to Max, and Bryan followed close behind her. I power walked to the scene again, fighting the urge to go and cry in the other bathroom.

"Call 911," Jessi shouted anxiously, just like you would see in the movies. She put her hands on Max's arm as he shook his head furiously, telling her he didn't want to go to the hospital.

"It's either you go to the hospital or you fucking die, Max!" Jessi screamed at him with frustration.

"They'll...put...me...in..jail," Max huffed.

"No they won't, they'll make you go to rehab...and if you deny that, then they'll take you to jail," Bryan corrected him. Max stared at him blankly, and then closed his eyes. His nose bleed got worse and worse, but yet no one moved.

"CALL. FUCKING. 9.1.1." Jessi enunciated loudly. Bryan hesitated but then rushed out the door and picked up the phone in another room. I got down on my knees and held Max's hand.

"I'll ride with you okay," I told him. "Even if they don't let me, I'll make them let me," I said, determined. Jessi shook her head at this whole situation.

"I don't even know why you do these things Max," she told him, looking him straight in the eyes. He started crying, and I glared at Jessi. She ignored my hard stare and instructed Max to put his head back and pinch his nose.

"I'll choke," he murmured through a gasp of air.
She sighed.

"We aren't going to let you choke Max, just do it....before you bleed to death," Jessi told him, furrowing her eyebrows and reaching out to pinch his nose gently. I helped tilt his head back and he closed his eyes. I knew he wished he would choke, just so it would all be over, and the thought of that plagued my mind, making me tear up.

"They're on their way," Bryan told us as he kneeled down next to Max too. "Can you stand up, bro?" he asked Max, and he just ignored him. Bryan understood why though, anyone would.

"Fuck this," Max mumbled through gasps of breaths, closing his mouth and trying desperately to help him self breathe better. He sat his forehead against his knees that were pulled against his chest. The sirens were loud and it gave me an adrenaline rush, one that wasn't good. Bryan helped Max stand up and it was surprising to me that Max could walk at least half way decently. I followed closely behind as Jessi walked next to me. Bryan helped Max down the stairs and all the way outside. I could tell Max was still worried about going to jail, and I felt bad for him. Although all he had to do was go to rehab, but I knew he didn't want to be away from everything and everyone he loved for 30 days either. Bryan opened the door and the ambulance was parked in the driveway, it's lights flashing and it's siren still blaring. We all walked out, and the paramedics pulled out a stretcher. Max laid down on it and they pushed him up into the ambulance. It looked so different from the scene that Hollywood portrayed in movies, of events like this. I jumped up and exchanged conversation with the paramedic by the ambulance, finding out I could ride with them, and feeling much relief. The guy helped me up into the back of the vehicle and I sat on a cooler, or what looked like a cooler to me. The whole ride there was a blur to me as much as it was probably a blur to Max. I watched as they did numerous things to him right in front of my eyes. They put an oxygen mask on his face, making him look almost alien. I stared off into space, and my mind was a basket case the whole way there.

Somehow I fell asleep in a chair next to Max in the hospital bed when we got there. I suspected that the doctors and the employees there were too busy figuring out what was wrong with Max to notice me sitting there anyways. I felt something hit my chest, and I woke up to realize it was a wad of paper as it hit the floor. Creases formed across my forehead as my body tensed up and I became more alert. I squinted my eyes at Max, and his eyes were closed like he was sleeping, but he had a noticeable smirk playing on his lips, one that was so familiar to me. I smiled and scooted my chair closer to him, wondering where he got the paper as I did so. He looked okay, even with all of the tubes hooked up to him. He was in his regular clothes, which I found odd. His face had color in it now, and he just looked not as sick. The fluid that they probably had to put into his veins must have helped greatly. I crossed my arms and stared at him, waiting for him to open one or both of his eyes. I cleared my throat, and he finally opened one of his eyes, closing it again as soon as he saw that I was staring right down at him. I noticed that his eyes weren’t bloodshot anymore.

“God Randi, can’t you see I’m trying to sleep,“ he teased, smiling and turning over. I narrowed my eyes at him, and I was going to smack him, but I was afraid I’d mess with one of the tubes or something.

“Mhm,” I grumbled. The playful mood disappeared immediately and I latched onto him like I hadn’t seen him in years. He rested a hand on top of my head and messed with my hair, running his fingers through it like it amused him. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I murmured into his shirt. He cleared his throat, and his voice broke with anxiety. I turned and faced him, laying my head down on top of his stomach. He wouldn’t meet my gaze, and he just stared at the black TV screen that wasn’t even turned on. I scooted closer to his face, so I could look at him better. His hair was a mess, sticking up all over the place and hanging in his face, and his eyes were sparkling with wellness, but clouded with feelings that I couldn’t read just yet. He pulled one of his lip rings into his mouth with his tongue and it distracted me. I touched the tip of my finger on his other one, and traced it up and down. He stayed silent the whole time, keeping his hand on top of my head awkwardly. I snickered at him and let my eyes flicker upon his again. “Did the doctors tell you the verdict after Jessi & Bryan left last night?” I asked him, resting my hand on his chest. He furrowed his brow at me, and my face copied his. “What?” I asked him, trying to read any emotion that I could see on his face or in his eyes.

“Didn’t you hear what they said?” he asked me softly, shifting uncomfortably in the bed.

“I was too tired and incoherent to hear or pay much attention to anything Max,” I told him, staring at him and waiting for him to give me some information.

“I’m going to rehab….they told me after I get better today and went home, that I had one day to get my shit together, and then I’m going away for 30 days,” he said the last part in a very monotone like voice, and it hit me really hard. I leaned back away from him slowly, and he reached out to touch my arm and grab my hand. I shifted away from him, so I could have my little moment of grasping onto things. I crossed my legs in the big stupid chair and I rested my head in my hand. I ran my hand down my face, taking it in, and I let out a long sigh; which Max returned generously.

“It’s here right?” I asked him, gluing my eyes on him like no other. I didn’t know what I would do if it was half way across the country.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding his head.

“Well, it’s better than going to jail,” I told him, laying on him again. He nodded his head, but I knew he didn’t want to go, still. “I’ll come see you however often they let me….” I trailed off, closing my eyes and burying my face into his shirt. He rested his hand on my back and sighed again.

“What if it’s not very often at all?” he asked, running his hand down his face just like I had earlier.

“They let you have a phone call every day….I know that much,” I told him. I looked around the room, anywhere but his face, because I knew that if I did I would start crying.

“It’ll be okay, at least I’ll get better….hopefully,” he said the last part in almost a whisper.
I was surprised that he was the one saying that to me, and not me to him. I was messing with the hem of his shirt when the door opened and revealed Bryan.

“Come on dude,” Bryan said, jingling his car keys in one hand and holding Jessi’s hand in the other.

“He has to get all of these tubes taken out of him before he can leave,” I said, staring at Bryan in surprise.

“No I don’t,” Max mumbled, practically ripping the breathing tube out of his nose and the IV out of his arm.

“What the fuck!” I shrieked, staring Max down as he simply got up, and walked over toward Bryan. Bryan chuckled, and Jessi had the same look on her face as I had on mine.

“Now what if you fucking die or something!” I shouted, my jaw hanging open like no other.

“I’m not going to die, Randi. I feel fine,” Max chuckled, moving his arms and flexing them a little bit. I sighed and shook my head, walking to them.

“If you get into trouble for taking those tubes out without supervision, I’m not taking up for you,” Jessi said blandly, laughing a little bit afterward. I stayed quiet and stared down the hallway as a doctor went back and forth into a room. I brushed my fingers against Max’s hand, and he grabbed them, working his way up to my palm and finally holding my hand. I smiled as we power walked to the front entrance and right out the door. Bryan was leading the way, because I knew Jessi would have made them stop at the reception’s desk to at least sign Max out.

“Fuck no,” Jessi said, laughing at Bryan and stopping at the desk and talking to the lady.
Bryan laughed and so did Max, and I couldn’t help but laugh either. Bryan unlocked the drivers side of his car and hopped in, unlocking the back door on his side and the passenger side. Max opened the door and crawled in, letting me crawl in right after. He wrapped his arms around my body and wouldn’t let me sit down properly.

“What?” I asked him, yawning and laying my head against him, not even bothering to struggle with his arms.

“I haven’t had a kiss in so long,” he told me, pouting as I looked up at him.

“A day is long for you?” I asked him, smiling and laying my head back down on his chest.

“I’m not letting go and letting you sit down until I get a kiss,” he said, tightening his arms around my middle torso.

“Pft I can sleep like this bud,” I told him, snuggling up into a little ball on his lap.

“All I want is a kiss,” Max said plainly, letting me go and prying me off of him.
I whined and grabbed onto his pants, giving up and sitting up so I was face to face with him.
I grabbed his face and planted a big, wet, sloppy kiss on his lips, making it overdramatic on purpose. Max put just as much effort into it and grabbed my hair, making me laugh and fall down onto the seat next to him. Bryan glared at us in the rearview mirror.

“What?” I snapped at him playfully, wrinkling my nose at my reflection in his mirror. He narrowed his eyes and glanced behind me at Max. “Bryan should really talk,” I said in sing-song, and punched the back of his seat playfully.

“Bryan isn’t talking because Jessi deprived him last night cause too much shit was going on,” Max said, smiling and squinting his eyes as Bryan blushed. I busted out into hysterics as Jessi finally opened the passenger door and got in, looking at all of us weirdly.

“Are you tormenting my Bryan?” Jessi asked us as she slammed the door shut and went to buckle her seat belt.

“Only kind of,” I said, smiling and showing my teeth. Bryan pulled out of the parking lot and I laid my head against Max’s shoulder. I was so tired, and Max knew it.

“We should both go to sleep when we get home,” he whispered in my ear, letting me lean into him. I rested my arm on his thigh and I glanced into the rearview mirror. Bryan was focusing on the road, and Jessi was messing with radio, hopping through stations like she always did. The fact that today was my last day with Max ran through my mind over and over again, and I was glad the thought wasn’t connected to my tear ducts yet. I turned my cheek against Max’s shoulder and took in his smell, which somehow made me fall asleep and stay asleep the whole ride to Bryan’s.