Memoirs of a Gay Guy : 1000 Things

Today is my 17th birthday. Yesterday was when Jeremy left for Vancouver. He and his Dad went yesterday and his Mom is going to send the rest of his boxes before going herself, to help him settle in.

I wish I could go help him settle in. And meet his new roommate and see the campus and help break in his new bed. But I will never get to do any of those things because he and I aren’t together anymore; physically or romantically.

I don’t feel sad because I knew this was coming. But then I don’t know what I should be feeling. Usually after a break up sadness or anger is a safe bet. I’ve already had time to be sad, and I’m not angry, I guess I just feel…empty. Where’s the person who I can hold hands with and say anything to? Where’s the guy who calls me in the morning even though we see each other every day? Where’s the person who makes me feel special, in spite of my dorky self? Where’s my boyfriend?

Vancouver.

Now hey, I’m not knocking Vancouver. I’m sure it’s a wonderful city if I could produce the likes of Michael Bublé and Ryan Reynolds. It’s just so damn far away.

I miss him, of course I do. I know that we had an expiration date, I just…wasn’t prepared for it. I’d gone through tears already, so what could have possibly prepared me for this…void?

But anyway, it’s my birthday and it’s the beginning of what I hope to be a long and beautiful summer. I’m out of school, I’ve got two months and my best friends to help me think about things and get on with my life.