Malchik Gay

"You see that over there?"

"Yeah?"

"When I was thirteen, I ran away from home and slept there for over a week."

"Why did you run away from home."

"My step dad. He just always tried to rule my house. I once had a girlfriend over and he threw her out because I had an argument with my sister. Her parents were away on holiday as well so she had nowhere to go. I ended up climbing out of the window and sleeping in the park with her." I squeezed her hand and continued to listen.

"So you had a pretty shitty family life?" I asked her, looking up into her beautiful blue eyes that were framed with black and red eye liner.

"No not really. I got on well with my mom. It was just him. He was always a real jackass when my mom wasn't home. In his eyes, my sister could do no wrong. If anything happened to her, it was always my fault no matter what. My mom and I occasionally bitched about him behind his back. She always called him a grumpy old get. I wasn't too fond of my sister either. She was a real spoiled bitch. I mean, I was pretty spoiled when it came to my mom, but she was always more spoiled. I had all the gadgets and my own room and things, but she had all the attention and I wasn't allowed to do silly things like eat the red chocolates from a tin of Quality Streets because they were her favourite as well. Silly things like that. It just wound me up a lot and I ended up becoming a self harmer and I ran away from home. I'd tried suicide before as well but I failed at that. It went wrong and it looked like my arm had been chewed by a dog, so that's what I told everyone." I was shocked at the least to hear that my best friend, however many years older than me she was, had tried to kill herself as a child. I sat down with her on a wooden bench and continued to listen to her

"So, what happened when you ran away?"

"I shouldn't really be telling you this Yulia. Your only a child, you don't need my problems."

"You weren't saying I was a child last night babes, so come on, tell me." She grinned and blushed red before continuing, admitting I had a point.

"Well he'd shouted at me and shoved me against the freezer, and it cut all the back of my neck open, and I decided that if he was going to get physical and start hurting me, I wasn't having any of it, so I packed a small bag with the majority of my clothes in it and set off in the middle of the night. I knew my mom wouldn't believe me. It was raining, and I had really long hair that was dripping and it went all discusting. I tried to go to my girls' house, but she said she didn't want anything to do with me with a 'dad' as crazy as mine, so I spent a whole eight days. I slept eith in the tunnel under the little silver slide."

I felt so much closer to Carey after she had poured her heart out to me. She was talking to me like a friend, not an ex pupil who's duo she manages. I sat a little closer to her on the park bench and wrapped my arm around her waist for support. She smiled and looked at me from the corner of her eyes. I loved it when she looked at me like that. She had amazing eyes. There was a silence after she'd finished talking, I think she kind of regretted spilling her heart out to me, and I didn't know what to say. During this silence, I thought about, and came to the conclusion that I did like Carey. In the sense that I liked Lena, except that I loved Lena. I didn't love Carey, I just had a crush on her. She was desperately attractive, with her short chocolate brown hair with blonde highlights. Her long fringe that fell lower than the rest of her hair and over one eye. Her sparkly blue eyes framed with eye liner. Her teeth were perfectly straight and sparkly white. She had a mild athletic frame and brilliant skin. She was wearing skinny blue jeans with white sneakers like mine. A tight black T-shirt and a long brown coat that hugged her frame perfectly. She was wearing a black beanie over her perfectly combed hair. Then I got caught staring.

“Like what you see or something?” I looked up into her eyes and blushed. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. I looked down at my sneakers and nodded. I heard her laugh to herself and her arm slipped around my waist, the other tilted my chin to face her and forced me to look into her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed me slowly. I deepened the kiss and put way more passion into it. Her hand reached up and pushed my short hair behind my ears, her hand resting on my cheek. She pulled away and kissed my forehead before smiling and moving back to her original position.

“Come on sweetie. Let's get going.” We stood up and continued to walk through the park. The pavement was wet but it wasn't raining anymore. It was the only hint that it had rained through the night.

“So what happened when you went back home?” I asked her, bringing the subject back up about her runaway.

“My mom was crying when I went in the house. There were police on the couch and my step dad was nowhere to be seen. My sister was in her room watching a movie, not a care in the world. My mom looked up at me when I came in and ran over to throw her arms around me. It was really awkward telling her and the police where I'd been and why I had disappeared. I've never seen her hit someone as hard as she hit my step dad that night when he came home. She threw him out. Immediately, and wouldn't let him get any of his stuff so he was homeless and depraved of everything. I loved the fact that he was suffering the same way I did. Shit that sounds really nasty doesn't it?” I shook my head.

“No. He was clearly a total ass wipe so clearly no need for niceness when it comes to him.” She nodded in agreement and shouted Freddie over when he got too far away. He came trotting back and circling us a couple of time. I jumped a mile when my pocket started vibrating. I checked the front screen and saw a text from Lena. Carey looked at me questioningly.

“She making sure I haven't rape you yet?” Carey asked with a smirk. I laughed and opened the text, not yet reading it.

“You have to be unwilling to be raped Carey babes. As far as I remember I was one hundred percent willing.” She blushed and whistled innocently. I nudged her playfully and finally read Lena's text.

Yulia, did you get a letter from the courts this morning? Presuming your at home that is. Your probably not. Sorry, that was mean. You know I don't really trust her. Anyway, get your butt home as soon as possible and tell me what your letter says, if you have one. Love you x.

“Oh so she loves you know? A letter from the courts? Text back and ask what letter.” Carey practically ordered. I was obviously going to text her back, I always do.

Hi gorgeous. No I'm at the park with Carey. I know you don't trust her, but I had a great night and I wasn't raped...I'd have to be unwilling. No I'm only joking. I'm probably going home in the next hour or so. I'll call you and tell you then? Love you too x

“It'll be about what happened in the audition room.”

“That was over a year ago Carey.”

“I know. These things take time. He'll get sent down though baby. There's too much evidence not to.” I nodded and refused to think about it. I'd rather not think about his attempt at rape, and the violence and abuse he threw upon Lena. It killed me to watch him hurt her, and not be able to stop him.

“I'll drop you off from here if you want.” Carey said quietly. She looked and sounded disappointed.

“Stay at my place for a while. My mom will probably want to feed you anyway.” She laughed and draped her arm over my shoulders.

“Come on. We'll get our butts to yours and find out about this letter.” I nodded and happily accepted Freddie's leash while Carey clipped him onto it. I led him back to her car and let him into the back, while I sat up front with Carey.

“Do I make you nervous?” I asked her out of the blue. She often tripped over her words around me and her hand that was currently resting on my thigh was shaking. She stopped her action of starting up the car and looked sideways at me. I raised my eyebrows a fraction, waiting for her answer. She rest her head back against her seat and sighed before answering me.

“As in the butterflies and trembling nervous when you can't think properly and you never seem to say the right thing around someone? Yeah. Yeah you do make me nervous.”

“Why do I? What appeals to you about the skinny sixteen year old girl sat beside you in your car?” I asked her. I wanted to find out why she wanted me while we were alone together. Freddie lay his head down on the back seat and fell asleep, so the car was silent apart from her nervous breathing. She paused before speaking.

“Your a beautiful girl Yulia. Inside and out. When you were younger and I first took you on in those private singing classes I knew there was something special about you. You were such a cute kid. I mean, I obviously didn't feel for you then like I do now. That would be wrong on so many levels, and it still is. I was eighteen when you joined Neposedy. It was my first year as well. We began at the same time. I'm thirteen years older than you, so I know that the way I feel for you now is still wrong, but I can't help it. I've dated girls the same age as me, but nothing. As attractive as most of them were. My heart starts pounding every time I see you, or even think about you. Your golden.” I looked down at my sneakers with a smile on my face. She started up the engine and drove the car out of the parking lot.

“What about you? I've spent today pouring my soul out to you, what about you? Do you still feel nothing for me?” She looked at me half hopeful, half worried.

“Well...I do like you if I'm honest, but Carey, I doubt I'll ever be in love with you. Just as you said to me, it applies to you too. Your beautiful, practically perfection. You've done so much for me. You've been my friend for years. For eight years, you were my only friend. You were amazing last night, and I really enjoyed it. Well it kind of counts that you took my virginity in a way.” I stopped my sentence to think about if that actually counts. She laughed and shook her head at me.

“You know, no guilt there or anything Carey.” She said and made me laugh. She decided to change the subject and put the radio on. It was a song we both knew and she turned it up loud, and made me sing along.

“Come on you have a voice now use it.” She encouraged and sang as well. Her voice was good, obviously as she was a singing coach.

It was about twenty minutes until she pulled into my drive. My mom's car was in the drive, so they were home. We climbed out of the car and Carey rolled her window down about two inches for Freddie, who was still asleep in the back seat. She took me to the front door and kissed my lips for a moment before I opened the door and let us both in.

“Yulia?” My mom called from the kitchen.

“Yeah mom. Carey's here too.”

“Oh good! Lunch is nearly ready. Either of you want a drink? Tea? Coffee?” I smirked at Carey, proving that my mom would want to feed her. She smiled back at me and accepted a cup of coffee. My dad walked into the room and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my cheek.

“Hi there slugger. Did you have a good night at Carey's?” He nodded and smiled at Carey.

“Yeah! It was fun.” I winked at Carey and a pale blush crept onto her cheeks.

“Thank you for babysitting her Carey. I don't know what we would do without you.” My mom said and sat at the table, urging Carey to join her for one of her womanly chats.

“Mom did I get a letter this morning?” I asked before I could forget.

“Oh yeah honey it's in your room.” I ran upstairs and found it on my desk. There was a stamp on the top saying 'Supreme Court Of Justice'. I couldn't help but laugh. It sounded like a super hero movie to me. I tore open the letter and let myself fall backward on my bed while I read it.

“Dear Miss Yulia Volkova. We are writing to you to inform you of the time and date of the hearing involving the assault on you and miss Elena Katina. We have scheduled a hearing to take place in two weeks time on the Tuesday 23rd of March at the supreme court of justice. Blah blah blah. Yours sincerely Ms. Eleanor Pickaback.” I tossed the letter on the floor and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed in Lena's number that I had memorized by heart and pressed call.

“Hello?” Her sweet voice sounded form the other end and gave me the butterflies in my stomach.

“Hey Lena. I got a letter too. From the supreme court of justice?” I asked, picking the letter back up and scanning the page.

“Yeah! From some loser called Eleanor Pickaback?” She asked. I could hear the laughter in her voice.

“Your so mean.” I laughed back. She knew I didn't mean it.

“Are you still with Carey?” She asked, her soft voice turning stoney serious.

“She's downstairs with my mom. I'm laid on my bed.”

“Did she try anything?”

“Not anything I wasn't willing to do.” I was been totally honest. What more could she want.

“What's that supposed to mean?” She asked, she sounded mad at me.

“Don't be mad at me Lena. I only meant silly things. She pecked me once and I did it back, but it was a casual thank you thing because she made me coco. Come on Lena, we've kissed more intimately than that.”

“I know. I'm sorry for snapping. I just don't like the way she looks at you and things. Did you have your own bed.”

“She has a spare room so she said I could stay in that. She has a Rottweiler called Freddie and he's really cute.”

“How can a Rottweiler be cute?”

“I don't know. Ask Freddie.” She laughed and asked when she'd next see me.

“You could always stay tonight if you want? I mean we'd have to crash in my bed but still.” She said she'd ask and put the phone down, I called down and asked my mom while Lena was doing the same thing. As usual, my mom was more than happy to let her. She loved Lena.

“I'm allowed.” She said once she came back to the phone.

“Good. Be here for about eight at the latest? We'll get pizza or something.”

“Sure thing. I'll probably be later than that though because I've been bored without you all day. It's actually odd how much I miss you when your not there to talk to.” I got butterflies.

“You could have text at any time.” I reminded her.

“I know. I was just worried I'd be interrupting things and you'd be mad at me.”

“No. What would you be interrupting? Our coco moment.” She laughed.

“Maybe. Anyway I'll let you go. I'll see you tonight.” I heard the smile behind her voice and smiled myself.

“Okay. Yeah see you. Love you!”

“Love you too. Bye.”

“Bye.”