Malchik Gay

"I know your not in love with me, but that's fine, cause if you didn't love me a little, you wouldn't have asked." I smiled at the fact she understood without me even having to say it.

"You know I love you. It's just, I don't know if I'll ever be in love with you, which makes me feel bad because you love me more than I do you."

"I'm used to that now Yulia." She said with a smile. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. She grinned and pulled me by the shirt into bed. The covers were warm, and she was warmer, so I cuddled up close, and smiled in contentment as her arms wrapped tightly around me, protecting me, shielding me from the world and all it's cruelties, and from the pain of the cold beyond the sheets. I looked up and kissed her gently, before snuggling down and falling asleep in her arms.

~

"All my life you've had an opinion.
Doing things for the wrong reasons.
Well not today.

Don't you know I can think for myself,
I can get on fine without any body's help.
Don't care what they say.
I'm breaking your heart,
not breaking apart.
All you do it hold me (hold me now).
Trying' to make me,
someone I don't know.
I'm not the girl I thought I knew.

What would you do,
if I told you,
There was no more you and I?
What would you do,
If I walked away with no regrets and no goodbyes.
What would you do, if I said to you,
just go ahead and cry."

Carey smiled at me and winked while Lena wasn't looking. I grinned and closed the red song book in front of us. We were in Carey's basement, a dull, dusty Grey room, with a dusty red carpet and classic rock band posters on the walls. Old vintage guitars lined one section of wall, and three or four amplifiers were kept in a dark corner of the room. She had three song book stands and a stool for when she was on her guitar, the concrete stairs led up to a secluded and hidden corner of the kitchen. Apparently this basement was used by people during the great war to hide from soldiers who raided the house looking for Jews, or gypsies etc. There was one mark on the wall, under the white chipping paint on one signature wall, it made the patch of white darker, and Carey nodded when she saw me looking at it, only confirming what I was thinking. That the patch underneath was blood that couldn't be scrubbed off. That whoever was once hiding down here at one point, was found.

I tried to swallow a lump in my throat and forced my eyes away from the mark. I knew gays and lesbians were killed too. I shook my head to rid myself of the disturbing thoughts and focused my attention back to the lesson. She'd taught me how to hit a really high C this morning before Lena came, now she was trying to show Lena and get her to do it. Of course, Lena was a natural and hit it perfectly on the second try. I hugged her in congratulations and did the typical best friend fussing thing. She asked if I'd done it, and guiltily admitted I had but it took me nine tries.

Carey watched me with Lena closely, and I was careful with what I did and said all the time. Lena had never been in Carey's basement before either.

"You two bought all your school stuff yet?" Carey asked us, setting her guitar back up against the wall.

"Yeah we had to go buy the uniforms on Thursday, and school books were sent in the mail yesterday morning. They're awful, they're all a dingy green color with the subject printed in gold on the front with the teachers name and the class room number. So formal." Lena whined. I agreed and had a bit of a whine about the uniforms been almost identical to the ones in Neposedy. Now that I thought about it, I missed that place.

Carey draped her arm casually over my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. It's just another school, remember?" We both nodded and I headed back upstairs after Lena, Carey shut off the lights and followed behind me.

"Are you two ready?" Carey asked, picking up her car keys off the kitchen counter, we both called yes from the hall and she followed up out to the car. Carey passed Lena the car keys while she helped me find something. I think Lena knew I hadn't lost anything, and hesitated to leave for a few seconds. Once she left to the car, I met Carey in the lounge and she pressed me carefully against the wall, her lips on mine. I smiled into her kiss and wrapped my arms around her waist. She pulled away and smiled after about fifteen seconds and led me out, calling to Lena to throw her the keys to lock the house while she drove us back to my place.

"Be a good girl tonight." Carey said with a wink as she walked beside me to her car. I promised I would and told her to trust me.

"I do, but if she tries anything, you're not going to hesitate to do it back."

"Don't you think she'd get suspicious if I did?"

"Hm maybe, but we don't really have anything to hide, you just don't want to tell Lena you're gay."

"I know. I promise I wont do anything though."

"I don't mind you kissing her Yulia, just no sex." I smiled and nodded.

"I probably wont kiss her either, but I promise I wont sleep with her." I laughed, it seemed odd to have to reassure her, I was so used to wishing something would happen between us, now I had to fight to avoid it. I climbed into the car beside Lena and grinned. She smiled back weakly. Carey fired up the engine and took off. Occasionally glancing at us through her rear view mirror.

I kissed her goodbye outside my house quickly, mid hug. I don't think Lena noticed.

"I love you." She whispered in my ear with her arms around me.

"I love you too. I'll text you later." She nodded after letting me go with a smile.

"Be good!" I glared playfully at her while we made our way across my drive way. She watched us in and we were enthusiastically greeted by my mom. Who actually hugged Lena before me. I glanced over my shoulder before closing the door, and smiled at Carey, who winked with a grin before reversing out of my drive. I sighed before closing the door. Now, my next challenge, hiding this relationship from Lena.