Adolescence
Kryptonite
Exactly 5 days ago, I hadn't even known who Ed was. And now, 5 days later, we were in love. Love is strange. You think this person will be your all, which he is, and then one day, it'll all come crashing down. Sometimes not in ways you would think, your world coming down in rain from the sky. Sometimes in a totally different approach. Amber had moved from her seat when I came back to school on Wednesday. (I was suspended Monday and Tuesday) I don't know if Mrs. Rein moved her or she moved herself. Either way, it wasn't good. But who cares, I'm getting a schedule change from her class anyway. So, I hadn't talked to Amber all day. Ed got his car taken away for a week because his parents had found out he'd skipped Friday and drove to the Hull without warning. So we were sitting against the cement pillar that held the street light up, kissing, waiting for the bus. You would think, Ed being his popular self, that he'd be embarrassed to kiss me in public around his friends. But he wasn't, and that's what I admired about him. That's when someone tapped on my shoulder. Probably a teacher, telling us to break it up. Amber. Now that I thought about it, I remembered that something had looked different about her. She looked pale, sickly. Ed and I broke apart and I added, “You’re a good kisser,” before I looked up to her and he smiled a crooked smile.
“Jessica, can I talk to you for a second?” she sniffed to give me the idea that it wasn’t good news. I got up and Amber walked me a few yards away.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, now concerned because tears began to fall from her eyes.
“I am so stupid,” she said after she’d wiped her eyes.
“What happened?”
“My mom killed herself, Jessica. Because of you.”
“Me? What did I do?”
“She…” she paused to wipe her eyes. “She found out what you did because I was a part of the whole Roast of Mrs. Rein and I got a phone call home saying I’d have Saturday detention. And then when you called me Friday night and told me what you and Ed did she was listening on the other phone line because she didn’t trust me. When I got off the phone with you, she came in my room and we started arguing about how she didn’t want me to hang out with you anymore and she was saying all this bad stuff about you and I kept yelling and yelling at her because I didn’t want her to talk about you like that. And she was yelling at me saying she’d wished she’d never given birth to me and I’d never been born then I told her I hated her and she overdosed.” Her words all kind of ran together where I had to stop and think about what she just said. Tears were continuously dropping from her eyes. There was no stopping them. Despite the guilt that I was supposed to feel, I hugged her and she bawled loudly, kind of muffled, into my shirt. Ed had kept his distance but when he saw this, he come over and investigated.
“Hey is everything okay?”
“Amber’s mom died, Ed,” I said as calmly as I could manage. Which wasn’t very much. Ed tried to peel Amber away from me and put his arm around her.
“Are you okay?” he asked her, very calmly and never taking his sincere eyes away from her. Whether she was looking at him or not.
“No! She was my mom! And she killed herself!” she screamed and some people looked at her.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he calmed. “Jessica and I are here for you. Whenever you need us.” She sniffed and threw her arms around him and it knocked him back.
“Thank you! It means so much to me that I have friends!” She yelled obnoxiously as I came to join in their hug. We got on the bus and she almost fell asleep on me.
“Amber, do you want to come to my house?” Ed asked. “We were gonna watch a movie.”
“No. I’d rather just wallow around the back of the 7-11 with my fellow druggies. I wouldn’t want to ruin your alone time.” Well suit yourself. So, Amber got off the bus at the 7-11 (which wasn’t worth taking a bus) and Ed and I rode the bus to his house a few miles away.
“So what movies do you have?” I asked. We were still in his front yard and he put his arms around my waist.
“The better question would be ‘What movies don’t I have?’” he smiled and oh my God he looked so good with the sun coming in around him. Kind of like my picture: Ed was an angel, sent down from Heaven to save me. He went on because I hadn’t responded. “Okay, forget the movie, what else do you want to do?”
I smiled to myself and mocked, “The better question would be ‘What don’t I want to do with you?’”
“Let’s go bowling,” Ed said suddenly.
“Ok!” I tried to sound enthusiastic. “I love bowling.” The something hit me kind of late. “How are we going to get there?”
“I’ll ask my dad to take us,” he said and shrugged. “They didn’t technically ban me from going places. Just not with my car.”
“Um okay. When will he be home?”
“Like, 30 minutes. What do you want to do until then?” I laughed on the inside. (guess what I did with my 30 minutes.) “Are you hungry?” he asked. I shrugged and he took me inside to his ginormous kitchen to his personal chef. “Antoñìo, dos hamurguesas con queso, por favor,” Ed spoke like he spoke fluent Spanish.
“Sí señor Eduardo. Enseguida.” I stood in awe for a moment, then his hands moved suavely around me, gently pulling me into the other room. He sat us down in the dining hall and he scooted his chair closer to mine. He took my hand, coated in strange finger nail polish colors and rested his head on it for a moment. He released my hand, but his eyes didn’t refocus to me yet. Ed was staring at a very expensive painting on the wall and smirked. I stared at him and put my hand on his cheekbone and stroked it without thinking.
“They don’t understand,” he mumbled.
“Who doesn’t understand what? I asked, not stopping stroking.
“Everyone. Everyone doesn’t understand why I can’t stay away from you. Why I’m drawn to you. Hell, even I don’t. But,” he smiled. “I thank God that I have been. Otherwise I’d have never have gotten to know the most wonderful girl I’ve ever met. You cease to amaze and surprise me.”
“Dido,” I said and stared into his eyes. He stressed the moment by cupping his hand around my neck and rubbed his thumb lightly on my skin, causing goosebumps.
“I love you,” he said. And he said it with so much concern I could have cried. “I hope you know that.” This was the first actual time he said I love you, and he already knew that I loved him.
“I do. And I love you too.” My voice broke throughout the sentence because it felt so good to be saying that to Ed and for him to be saying it back. He came in closer for a kiss, but he got interrupted by his chef bringing in the hamburgers.
“Gracias, Antoñìo.”
“No hay de que.” He smiled and left.
Ed smiled and playfully kissed me. “Let’s eat.”
****
After Ed’s dad took us to the bowling alley, I saw something that made me very pissed off. Amber’s mom. I threw the ball in the other lane and Ed looked at me like I was crazy. “Jess, this is our lane.”
“I know, but I just got distracted.” I hadn’t looked back at Ed, so he’d looked in the direction I was.
“What are you staring at?” he asked.
I looked back at him suddenly. “I’m sorry Ed. I need to go to Amber’s house. I’ll call you later.” I walked away without looking back, that would only be harder. Amber didn’t live that far from the bowling alley so I just walked to her house. No answer. Ah, right. She’s at the 7-11. I walked up to the parking lot and I heard her laughing and talking.
“Oh hey Jess. What are you doing here?” she laughed. Yep. She was high.
“Oh nothing, just paying a visit to my friend, the liar.” Her smile faded away and she sat up straight.
“What?”
“I was at the bowling alley. With Ed. And guess who I saw?”
“I have no idea.” She laughed again.
“Your mom, Amber. I thought you said she killed her self.”
“Yeah, I lied.”
“Why?” I asked, kind of mellow, yet pissed off.
“I don’t know. Just felt like it.”
“You have no future Amber. Especially not with me.”
“Jessica, can I talk to you for a second?” she sniffed to give me the idea that it wasn’t good news. I got up and Amber walked me a few yards away.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, now concerned because tears began to fall from her eyes.
“I am so stupid,” she said after she’d wiped her eyes.
“What happened?”
“My mom killed herself, Jessica. Because of you.”
“Me? What did I do?”
“She…” she paused to wipe her eyes. “She found out what you did because I was a part of the whole Roast of Mrs. Rein and I got a phone call home saying I’d have Saturday detention. And then when you called me Friday night and told me what you and Ed did she was listening on the other phone line because she didn’t trust me. When I got off the phone with you, she came in my room and we started arguing about how she didn’t want me to hang out with you anymore and she was saying all this bad stuff about you and I kept yelling and yelling at her because I didn’t want her to talk about you like that. And she was yelling at me saying she’d wished she’d never given birth to me and I’d never been born then I told her I hated her and she overdosed.” Her words all kind of ran together where I had to stop and think about what she just said. Tears were continuously dropping from her eyes. There was no stopping them. Despite the guilt that I was supposed to feel, I hugged her and she bawled loudly, kind of muffled, into my shirt. Ed had kept his distance but when he saw this, he come over and investigated.
“Hey is everything okay?”
“Amber’s mom died, Ed,” I said as calmly as I could manage. Which wasn’t very much. Ed tried to peel Amber away from me and put his arm around her.
“Are you okay?” he asked her, very calmly and never taking his sincere eyes away from her. Whether she was looking at him or not.
“No! She was my mom! And she killed herself!” she screamed and some people looked at her.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he calmed. “Jessica and I are here for you. Whenever you need us.” She sniffed and threw her arms around him and it knocked him back.
“Thank you! It means so much to me that I have friends!” She yelled obnoxiously as I came to join in their hug. We got on the bus and she almost fell asleep on me.
“Amber, do you want to come to my house?” Ed asked. “We were gonna watch a movie.”
“No. I’d rather just wallow around the back of the 7-11 with my fellow druggies. I wouldn’t want to ruin your alone time.” Well suit yourself. So, Amber got off the bus at the 7-11 (which wasn’t worth taking a bus) and Ed and I rode the bus to his house a few miles away.
“So what movies do you have?” I asked. We were still in his front yard and he put his arms around my waist.
“The better question would be ‘What movies don’t I have?’” he smiled and oh my God he looked so good with the sun coming in around him. Kind of like my picture: Ed was an angel, sent down from Heaven to save me. He went on because I hadn’t responded. “Okay, forget the movie, what else do you want to do?”
I smiled to myself and mocked, “The better question would be ‘What don’t I want to do with you?’”
“Let’s go bowling,” Ed said suddenly.
“Ok!” I tried to sound enthusiastic. “I love bowling.” The something hit me kind of late. “How are we going to get there?”
“I’ll ask my dad to take us,” he said and shrugged. “They didn’t technically ban me from going places. Just not with my car.”
“Um okay. When will he be home?”
“Like, 30 minutes. What do you want to do until then?” I laughed on the inside. (guess what I did with my 30 minutes.) “Are you hungry?” he asked. I shrugged and he took me inside to his ginormous kitchen to his personal chef. “Antoñìo, dos hamurguesas con queso, por favor,” Ed spoke like he spoke fluent Spanish.
“Sí señor Eduardo. Enseguida.” I stood in awe for a moment, then his hands moved suavely around me, gently pulling me into the other room. He sat us down in the dining hall and he scooted his chair closer to mine. He took my hand, coated in strange finger nail polish colors and rested his head on it for a moment. He released my hand, but his eyes didn’t refocus to me yet. Ed was staring at a very expensive painting on the wall and smirked. I stared at him and put my hand on his cheekbone and stroked it without thinking.
“They don’t understand,” he mumbled.
“Who doesn’t understand what? I asked, not stopping stroking.
“Everyone. Everyone doesn’t understand why I can’t stay away from you. Why I’m drawn to you. Hell, even I don’t. But,” he smiled. “I thank God that I have been. Otherwise I’d have never have gotten to know the most wonderful girl I’ve ever met. You cease to amaze and surprise me.”
“Dido,” I said and stared into his eyes. He stressed the moment by cupping his hand around my neck and rubbed his thumb lightly on my skin, causing goosebumps.
“I love you,” he said. And he said it with so much concern I could have cried. “I hope you know that.” This was the first actual time he said I love you, and he already knew that I loved him.
“I do. And I love you too.” My voice broke throughout the sentence because it felt so good to be saying that to Ed and for him to be saying it back. He came in closer for a kiss, but he got interrupted by his chef bringing in the hamburgers.
“Gracias, Antoñìo.”
“No hay de que.” He smiled and left.
Ed smiled and playfully kissed me. “Let’s eat.”
****
After Ed’s dad took us to the bowling alley, I saw something that made me very pissed off. Amber’s mom. I threw the ball in the other lane and Ed looked at me like I was crazy. “Jess, this is our lane.”
“I know, but I just got distracted.” I hadn’t looked back at Ed, so he’d looked in the direction I was.
“What are you staring at?” he asked.
I looked back at him suddenly. “I’m sorry Ed. I need to go to Amber’s house. I’ll call you later.” I walked away without looking back, that would only be harder. Amber didn’t live that far from the bowling alley so I just walked to her house. No answer. Ah, right. She’s at the 7-11. I walked up to the parking lot and I heard her laughing and talking.
“Oh hey Jess. What are you doing here?” she laughed. Yep. She was high.
“Oh nothing, just paying a visit to my friend, the liar.” Her smile faded away and she sat up straight.
“What?”
“I was at the bowling alley. With Ed. And guess who I saw?”
“I have no idea.” She laughed again.
“Your mom, Amber. I thought you said she killed her self.”
“Yeah, I lied.”
“Why?” I asked, kind of mellow, yet pissed off.
“I don’t know. Just felt like it.”
“You have no future Amber. Especially not with me.”