Adolescence
Wish We Were Older
I've been feeling weird lately. This feeling inside me is so strange, yet so natural.
Ring. Ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey Bill, you busy?"
"Uh, no. I have band practice at four. Did you wanna come over?"
"Yeah, there's like nothing to do here."
"Yeah, yeah come on over."
I walked--almost ran--to Billie's house because I had something to tell him. He already had the door open before I made it all the way up the driveway. We got settled on the couch.
"Billie, I've got to tell you something. I have this feeling inside me and it's caused by you. I've never felt this way about anybody. Ed is nothing to compare to this. You are my best friend and my mind is telling me to make this become something more."
He was silent for a while, then he finally spoke up. "I love you, too." He inched his face closer to mine, then paused, me closing the space between us.
****
Nothing happened that day, I promise. But here's what did happen...
"Jessica...I know this world is killing you oh Jessica...my aim is true," he whispered/sang in my ear. We were laying on the couch, both his arms around me.
"Somehow I always knew," I said when he was finished with the song. "I always knew we'd end up together. Ever since we first met behind the 7-11 and thinking you were a stalker."
He laughed softly but it still sent a vibration through my body because we were so close. "Tell me..." he said. "How'd you get over Ed so fast?"
"It's complicated. We had this level of understandment that it was just natural to let go of him."
He positioned his chin on the crook of my neck. "Sounds to me like you guys were pretty close."
"Yeah. He told me things he never told anyone else. I almost changed something about myself just to be with him."
"Like what?"
My species. "Oh, nothing. I shouldn't tell."
He nodded slightly and we got silent for at least half an hour, just holding me. "Jess, you know when I said 'I think she's closer than we all know' when I was talking about...it?"
"Mhm."
"Well, I was talking about you."
Ring. Ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey Bill, you busy?"
"Uh, no. I have band practice at four. Did you wanna come over?"
"Yeah, there's like nothing to do here."
"Yeah, yeah come on over."
I walked--almost ran--to Billie's house because I had something to tell him. He already had the door open before I made it all the way up the driveway. We got settled on the couch.
"Billie, I've got to tell you something. I have this feeling inside me and it's caused by you. I've never felt this way about anybody. Ed is nothing to compare to this. You are my best friend and my mind is telling me to make this become something more."
He was silent for a while, then he finally spoke up. "I love you, too." He inched his face closer to mine, then paused, me closing the space between us.
****
Nothing happened that day, I promise. But here's what did happen...
"Jessica...I know this world is killing you oh Jessica...my aim is true," he whispered/sang in my ear. We were laying on the couch, both his arms around me.
"Somehow I always knew," I said when he was finished with the song. "I always knew we'd end up together. Ever since we first met behind the 7-11 and thinking you were a stalker."
He laughed softly but it still sent a vibration through my body because we were so close. "Tell me..." he said. "How'd you get over Ed so fast?"
"It's complicated. We had this level of understandment that it was just natural to let go of him."
He positioned his chin on the crook of my neck. "Sounds to me like you guys were pretty close."
"Yeah. He told me things he never told anyone else. I almost changed something about myself just to be with him."
"Like what?"
My species. "Oh, nothing. I shouldn't tell."
He nodded slightly and we got silent for at least half an hour, just holding me. "Jess, you know when I said 'I think she's closer than we all know' when I was talking about...it?"
"Mhm."
"Well, I was talking about you."