Adolescence
Seed
“Juliet’s coming, Jeff,” Billie said as the entire room got a front row seat to watch things come out of my private parts. “I see her head!”
I heard a loud thud. I really didn’t care enough to what it was considering the tremendous pain I was feeling.
“Billie, I hate you! We’re never having kids again!” I growled and squeezed his hand.
Then the doctor lifted up my baby, my Juliet, out of the abyss and cut the umbilical cord.
“Oh…Fuck…” I said as the pain was going away. The nurse handed me my baby after she was cleaned and wrapped. I had never seen anything more beautiful. After about three minutes of me and Billie holding her, I heard an ‘oh my Lord’ come from my mother.
“Tre fainted,” She said as a couple of nurses rushed to him. All I could do was laugh.
****
“Can I have a moment alone with my daughter?” Mom said to Billie, Mike, and Tre. They nodded and stepped out of the room. She sat on the bed next to me while I was still holding Juliet. “I’m…deeply sorry…about all the pain I’ve caused you. I know I can never be forgiven for the things I’ve done. I beat you since you were a kid, and I didn’t approve of Billie. I recall…I said I never wanted you to see him again…because I was afraid. Afraid that I wouldn’t have my perfect son-in-law because you would have forgotten about him. But I guess keeping you away only made you closer to him, and farther from me.” She paused and tears started to roll down her face. “That day you left…everything from that night is replayed in my head every day. It kills me just a little bit more each day. For three years, I’ve aged faster than ever thinking I was dying. But I had to come here. I had to come here and find you and set everything right. I love you, Jessica, and the best decision you ever made was to run away to be with Billie. You guys are a wonderful couple and I’m sorry that I couldn’t see that before. I’m glad you found him and made this gorgeous child, because I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
I pulled her into a hug. “I love you, Mom. Don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright. Things will be okay again.”
The night we got home, my mom was holding Juliet. “She looks like a Juliet Heath Armstrong.”
“Mom, that’s so adorable!” She handed her to me. “Juliet Heath Armstrong.” I smiled as me and Billie put her in her crib. He started to sing One For The Razorbacks then she fell asleep.
We got into bed and I rolled over on top of him and started to make out with him. Afterwards, I passed out, exhausted.
“Jessica, I need you to get up,” Billie said into my ear.
My eyes shot open. “Is everything okay? Is Juliet okay?”
“Juliet’s fine…Jess…it’s your mother.”
My mother was not breathing. The paramedics estimated she died around three in the morning. I was distraught. As soon as the air was clear between us, she was gone.
To deal with my pain, I started cleaning the house. I cleaned everything, things you wouldn’t know to clean. Billie witnessed for four hours, until he decided it was time to stop.
“Jess, the house is clean. You don’t need to clean anymore.”
“No, I have to check every corner for cobwebs.”
He walked over to me as I was rambling. “Because if we don’t clean them now, they’re only going to get bigger.” He squeezed me tightly and I started to cry for the first time. “It’s not supposed to be this way. She apologized for everything. I spent my whole life hating her, and the moment I stop, she just goes and dies.” I was sobbing profoundly by this point, and Billie was running his hands through my hair.
“You did her a favor. You forgave her. Her slate was cleared, and then she went. She couldn’t die without knowing that you could at least consider to forgive her. There was nothing that you could do. Nothing anyone could do. And everything will be okay.”
I heard a loud thud. I really didn’t care enough to what it was considering the tremendous pain I was feeling.
“Billie, I hate you! We’re never having kids again!” I growled and squeezed his hand.
Then the doctor lifted up my baby, my Juliet, out of the abyss and cut the umbilical cord.
“Oh…Fuck…” I said as the pain was going away. The nurse handed me my baby after she was cleaned and wrapped. I had never seen anything more beautiful. After about three minutes of me and Billie holding her, I heard an ‘oh my Lord’ come from my mother.
“Tre fainted,” She said as a couple of nurses rushed to him. All I could do was laugh.
****
“Can I have a moment alone with my daughter?” Mom said to Billie, Mike, and Tre. They nodded and stepped out of the room. She sat on the bed next to me while I was still holding Juliet. “I’m…deeply sorry…about all the pain I’ve caused you. I know I can never be forgiven for the things I’ve done. I beat you since you were a kid, and I didn’t approve of Billie. I recall…I said I never wanted you to see him again…because I was afraid. Afraid that I wouldn’t have my perfect son-in-law because you would have forgotten about him. But I guess keeping you away only made you closer to him, and farther from me.” She paused and tears started to roll down her face. “That day you left…everything from that night is replayed in my head every day. It kills me just a little bit more each day. For three years, I’ve aged faster than ever thinking I was dying. But I had to come here. I had to come here and find you and set everything right. I love you, Jessica, and the best decision you ever made was to run away to be with Billie. You guys are a wonderful couple and I’m sorry that I couldn’t see that before. I’m glad you found him and made this gorgeous child, because I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
I pulled her into a hug. “I love you, Mom. Don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright. Things will be okay again.”
The night we got home, my mom was holding Juliet. “She looks like a Juliet Heath Armstrong.”
“Mom, that’s so adorable!” She handed her to me. “Juliet Heath Armstrong.” I smiled as me and Billie put her in her crib. He started to sing One For The Razorbacks then she fell asleep.
We got into bed and I rolled over on top of him and started to make out with him. Afterwards, I passed out, exhausted.
“Jessica, I need you to get up,” Billie said into my ear.
My eyes shot open. “Is everything okay? Is Juliet okay?”
“Juliet’s fine…Jess…it’s your mother.”
My mother was not breathing. The paramedics estimated she died around three in the morning. I was distraught. As soon as the air was clear between us, she was gone.
To deal with my pain, I started cleaning the house. I cleaned everything, things you wouldn’t know to clean. Billie witnessed for four hours, until he decided it was time to stop.
“Jess, the house is clean. You don’t need to clean anymore.”
“No, I have to check every corner for cobwebs.”
He walked over to me as I was rambling. “Because if we don’t clean them now, they’re only going to get bigger.” He squeezed me tightly and I started to cry for the first time. “It’s not supposed to be this way. She apologized for everything. I spent my whole life hating her, and the moment I stop, she just goes and dies.” I was sobbing profoundly by this point, and Billie was running his hands through my hair.
“You did her a favor. You forgave her. Her slate was cleared, and then she went. She couldn’t die without knowing that you could at least consider to forgive her. There was nothing that you could do. Nothing anyone could do. And everything will be okay.”