Nothing But Dust In The Shadows

Cassie

The next morning, Cassie’s attempt to open her eyes was a futile one. The curtains hadn’t been closed before Alex got into bed so light was seeping in through the window. She let out a quiet groan and brought her hands up to her face, frowning when she felt dried something-or-other on it.

She gently pressed the heels of her palms into her aching eyes, behind which a pulsing headache was drilling into her brain, and then attempted to open her eyes once again. It took a few minutes before her eyes adjusted to the light and she began to ease her torso up onto her elbows. Every organ in her abdomen groaned in protest.

She breathed deeply and glanced around. She was lying across the bed, perpendicular to how you’re supposed to sleep, with her legs on top of and somewhat intertwined with Alex’s.

Cassie widened her eyes and blinked harshly before screwing her face up, “God, I am never drinking again,” She swore to herself, attempting to stretch. This caused Alex’s legs to move with hers and he shifted in his sleep. Cassie looked over at him and smiled slightly to herself then untangled her legs from his. This movement caused Alex’s eyes to open briefly and a light grunt to leave his mouth.

She looked at him and sat up properly, crossing her legs and leaning on her hands, “Alex,” She whispered, stretching out her leg and poking her toes against his covered limbs.

He swatted at her foot, “I’m sleeping,” He huffed.

She poked him further, “Wake up,”

“I’m sleeping,” He urged again.

“Well wake up!” She dug him hard in the leg and then winced at the volume of her own voice.

“OW!” He yelped causing her to wince again.

“Not so loud!” She complained as he shot up and grabbed his leg.

“Christ Cassie, how sharp are your toenails?!” He hissed, rubbing the afflicted area.

Cassie held up her leg and wiggled her toes, “Very, apparently,”

“Yeah, very,” He agreed, glancing up at the messy face of the girl beside him and rubbing a hand over his hair and face before letting out a deep sigh, “So...” He looked at her with a smirk, “How’s your head?”

“Hurting like crap- I think my liver’s destroyed,” She replied, rubbing her abdomen slowly as her eyes trailed down his clothes-less torso as the quilt slipped from his body and bunched at his waist. She bit her lip and forced her eyes to lock onto his, “How’s yours?”

“Fine, I didn’t drink half as much as you did last night,” He chuckled.

“Oh God,” She sighed, “I bet I made a right idiot out of myself, didn’t I?” She held her hand to her face and looked at him with worry.

Something Cassie didn’t recognise flashed across Alex’s eyes and his lips twitched into something of a smile, “Maybe a little,”

“Great,” She pushed the quilt from her and pulled herself out of bed. She looked down at herself, “Did you undress me?” Her eyebrow lifted at him.

He shook his head indignantly, “No. No, you did that yourself at about half seven this morning when you ‘needed a whizz and those pants were sticking right up your crack’,” He snorted with laughter at the memory.

“Jesus,” She laughed, “I’m sorry,”

He shook his head dismissively, “It’s alright; it was fucking hilarious at the time... And the sight wasn’t too bad either,” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Cassie ripped the quilt off him and threw it at his head.

“Still perverted in the morning I see,” She rolled her eyes as he pulled the quilt from his face and beamed at her.

“As ever,”

“I’m going to get a shower to get rid of whatever the hell is on my face,” She announced, heading towards the bathroom.

“Cass?”

She looked over her shoulder expectantly, “What?”

“What do you remember of last night?” He asked with a flicker of hope behind his eyes from what Cassie could read anyway.

She stopped and rubbed her forehead, closing her eyes and thinking hard, “Um... I remember Pizza Hut. I remember getting to some club and... Drinking... Lots of drinking. A girl called Lauren... Then there was tequila... Besides that, not really much,” She shrugged.

“Do you remember a guy called Dan?”

“Dan who?” She frowned.

He shook his head, “I guess not then,” He replied.

She furrowed her brow briefly then continued her walk towards the bathroom.

“So, you really don’t remember anything?” He called.

She looked around again, “Not really... Why?”

“No reason,” He shrugged.

She ruffled the bird’s nest on top of her head, “Did I do something in my drunken stupor that I shouldn’t have done? If I did then I’m really sorry,”

“It’s nothing,” He smiled, “Go get your shower before I steal it from you,”

She sent him a small smile before heading into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

“Nothing you should be sorry for, anyway,” Alex sighed, flopping backwards onto the bed, “I knew she wouldn’t remember,”

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Alex

“Cassie,” Alex called as he wandered into the suite with a bag full of junk food, “I got some chocolate because I’m not paying four dollars for a little square of it from room service,” He announced, throwing the key card onto a nearby table, “Did you need anything while I was out because I can go back out if you need something?” There was silence, “Cass?” He threw the bag onto the chair and wandered through towards the bedroom, “Cassie?” He gently pushed open the door and crept inside. He frowned deeply as he noticed the brunette curled into a tight foetal position on the bed. She lifted her hand slightly in a feeble wave and Alex closed the bedroom door.

He walked over to the bed and crawled over on it, shuffling towards her and resting a hand either side of her. He leaned over to see her face, “Cassie,” He whispered, pushing her hair from her face, “What’s wrong?” He questioned with worry when he saw her hazel eyes glazed over with tears.

She looked up at him, “I’m sore,” She complained.

“You still have a hangover? It’s been three days,” He chuckled, gently drifting his thumb across her forehead.

She shook her head, “Not that kind of sore,” She whispered, her voice almost inaudible.

“What kind?” He asked.

“You know...” She spoke mutedly, “That kind of sore,” She emphasised, holding onto her lower stomach.

Alex’s eyes flickered between her hand and her eyes a couple of times before he questioned abruptly, “Period pains?”

She rolled her eyes at the fact she was trying to be discreet when he just came out and said it, “Yeah,” She nodded.

“Are they really bad?” He enquired with sympathy lacing his tone.

She nodded once again, her eyes watering at the constant aching and twisting pains that she rarely suffered from.

“Why don’t you try to have a nap? They might go,” He suggested.

She shook her head, “They’re hurting too much for me to try. They’re keeping me awake,” She replied quietly.

He gently ran his fingers through her hair, “Do you always get them?”

His touch made her muscles loosen slightly, “Not this bad but sometimes they’re unbearable. Like now, for instance,” As if on cue, another painful twist cut through her and she clenched her teeth and her eyes together.

Alex didn’t like the sight of her like this and he, hesitantly, slid his hand into hers, “You can squeeze my hand if you like,”

She clenched her fingers around his tightly.

“Ah shit!” He yelped, “Not that hard Cass,”

She laughed airily through her nose, “Sorry,” She smiled apologetically.

“I’ll let you off,” He smirked, “Listen, stay here and try to relax. I’ll be back in ten minutes,”

“Where am I going to go like this?” She joked.

He smiled and gently squeezed her hand before sliding his fingers from her palm and saying a quick goodbye as she left.

Cassie

Cassie stayed in the same position for the next fifteen minutes, breathing deeply and trying not to move so another pain didn’t shoot through her. She heard the hotel room door open and then the bedroom door opened and shut.

“Sorry. It took longer than I thought it would,” Alex’s voice caused something inside Cassie’s stomach to fizz.

“It’s okay,” She spoke meekly.

“Still hurting?” He asked as she felt his hand on her side as the bed depressed when he sat down.

She nodded, “Yeah,”

“Sit up a second,” He whispered.

“I don’t want to, it’ll hurt me,” She breathed.

She felt him get up from the bed and he wandered around to the front of her, tucking his hands beneath her and pulling her into his arms.

“Ugh, Alex,” She groaned, letting her head fall against his shoulder.

“Don’t be such a girl,” He chuckled.

“You’re a boy, you don’t know how much this hurts,” She frowned as he lay her up at the head of the bed and arranged the pillows so she was comfortable.

“Well I’ve been kicked in the balls once or twice so I can pretty much imagine what you’re going through right now ‘cause that probably hurts more,” He replied.

“Well at least you can avoid that, I can’t help this,” She sighed, looking up at him with the saddest eyes she could muster.

The sympathy poured out of his eyes for her, “That’s why I’m here to make you feel better,” He smiled, his eyes scanning her face as he crawled onto the bed beside her, crossed his legs and pulled a bag that he’d brought in over towards him.

“How?” She asked with intrigue as her eyebrow quirked with expectance.

“Well...” He began, delving his hand into the bag, “I have painkillers if the pain is really that bad,” He produced a small box and handed them over to her, “And a special hot chocolate to wash them down with,” He produced a Styrofoam cup from the bag and handed it over to her.

A smile drifted over Cassie face as he dipped his hand into the bag once more while her fingers played about with the box and the cup, “What else do you have in your little bag of goodies?”

He pulled out a mega-sized bar of white chocolate, “I remember you saying it was your favourite,”

She almost melted as she gently took the bar from him, “Alex...” She breathed with an admiring smile.

“Wait,” He held up his finger, “That’s not all. One last thing,” He put his hand into the bag once more.

“You didn’t have to do all this,”

“I had to do this though. I saw him and I couldn’t help it,” He said as he pulled out a plump rabbit cuddly toy.

A wide smile came across her face and she cooed at the adorable bunny, “Aww!”

“He’s microwaveable and I’ve heated him up for you. Lauren was on the desk again and she told me that heat relieves the pain. I figured this was cuter and better than a heat-pack thing,” He handed over the toy and she rubbed her fingers over the bunny’s soft ears before placing him on her lower stomach, “His name is Dougal,”

She laughed lightly, “You named him?”

“Yeah, I was trying to think of the perfect name on the way back and I thought that was the best one. What do you think?”

She smiled at him, “I love it,”

“Good,” He nodded, “Is that helping?”

“Yeah,” She replied, looking around all of the things she’d received and held her hand up to her face as her eyes began to water.

“Sweetie what’s wrong? I thought you said it was helping?”

She shook her head, “It’s not that,”

He shuffled closer to her and rested a hand on her shoulder, “Then what?”

“It’s just...” She sniffed, “This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. It’s so sweet. Thank you so much,”

“Oh Cass,” He chuckled, reaching up and grazing her cheek with his thumb.

“I’m sorry, I’m just a bit hormonal,” She wiped beneath her eyes.

He gently ruffled her hair, “Don’t be sorry. Have some chocolate,”

She held out her arms for him and he smiled, leaning over and wrapping his arms around her. She held him tight to her and kissed his cheek, “Thank you,” She whispered again.

“Anytime,” He responded caringly before he parted from the hug in an attempt to reduce the intensity of the feelings that were running throughout his body. He fell beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder causing her to let her head rest against his chest.

She sighed and held Dougal to her stomach as she fumbled with the packet of painkillers and got two out. She swallowed them with a large gulp of hot chocolate and let her head flop against Alex’s shoulder once again, “That hot chocolate is absolutely incredible. You’re a God-send,”

“I know,” He joked.

Five minutes later, the pair was still sat in a comfortable silence and their bodies were pressed together as Alex held Cassie tight to him with his arm encircling her shoulder.

“How’re you feeling now?” He spoke up quietly, bringing his free hand to rest upon her stomach, innocently just above the waistline of the pyjama bottoms she was wearing.

Cassie suppressed a shudder as his fingers grazed the skin of her abdomen, “A bit better, thanks,”

“Dougal’s doing a good job then?”

She laughed slightly and nodded, “Yeah, he’s doing a wonderful job,”

“Good,” He mumbled.

They were both fully aware that Alex’s hand was still situated on her dully aching stomach but Alex was absentmindedly tracing his thumb back and forth, slipping it beneath the hem of her shirt.

Cassie’s heart was beating faster than usual but she felt extremely relaxed, “No-one’s ever looked after me like this before,” She admitted in a whisper, “Well, my mom did when I was younger but no-one like this in a very long time,” She felt Alex’s chin rest atop of her head.

“Didn’t Jason ever look after you?” Cassie knew he was frowning even though she couldn’t see his face.

“No, not really. He did once when I had really bad flu but only because he had to because I couldn’t even move. He was very vocal about his reluctance and resentment for it though. After that I just tended to call my mom or dad when I was very sick. I was lucky it didn’t happen often,” She explained.

“I’m betting that he treated you like a slave when he got sick though, right?”

She shrugged lightly, “I don’t know...” She began to run her fingers over her toy rabbit’s ears.

“That’s a ‘yes’ then,” He rolled his eyes.

“Well... I mean, everyone should always have someone to look after them when they’re sick. He always used to get very bad when he did get sick though- Like, he got viruses and bugs a lot,”

“Bullshit Cassie, don’t make excuses for that lowlife bastard,” The anger in Alex’s voice made Cassie tense up briefly.

“I’m not... But, everyone needs someone to look after them when they’re ill, don’t they?”

“How can you say that you should look after him when he’s sick but he won’t get off his ass to look after you when you need him- And after he tells you he loves you?” He said resentfully and Cassie felt his fingers begin to stroke up and down her arm.

“I don’t need looking after. I don’t need anyone,” The defensive side in her flared up when the word ‘need’ entered the conversation. Since Jason had gone, that was a word she hated.

“I never said that you did, I can see how strong you are. But you said yourself that it was nice to have someone look after you,”

“Maybe it’s because I’ve never had that before and it is nice,” She huffed, pulling herself up and attempting to get away from the bed, her stomach not aching as badly as before. Alex caught her arm and pulled her back, gently enough so that it didn’t hurt. She resisted.

“Cassie. Cass, come here,” He whispered. Her resistance loosened and he was able to lie her back down, “Just listen to me for a second,” He lifted up so that he could see her face properly.

“What?” She murmured.

“This is what I’m trying to get you to see. You say that you’ve never had someone look after you before and you defend the fact that your fiancé, who said that he loved you enough to want to spend the rest of his life with you, doesn’t even take care of you when you’re not feeling well,”

Her eyes fell away from his, “But-“

He poked her nose which caused her to look up at him, “Cassie, don’t sell yourself short. Don’t make excuses for some dickhead who never even deserved someone as incredible and gorgeous as you in the first place,”

Cassie melted and felt something inside her make his lips seem all the more attractive. She suppressed it, knowing exactly what a mistake like that would cause.

“A relationship is a two way street. You’re supposed to look after and care for each other, not screw each other over and take more than you give,” He continued, “Listen, I know that you still love him and that it’s hard for you to let go-”

“What makes you say that?” She frowned at him.

He simply took her left wrist and lifted her hand into vision, “Because if it wasn’t true then you’d have taken this off by now. If you’d have been the stronger girl you are now, you would’ve taken it off and aimed it at that prick’s face when he broke your heart. The question is, Cass...” He began trailing his thumb across her cheek, “Is the stronger girl you are now ready to let go?”

She held up her left hand and let the sunlight make the diamond sparkle. She sighed lightly and took hold of the ring, carefully sliding it off her finger and placing it on the table beside the bed.

Alex smiled at her and got up, “I’m going to get a shower,” He announced, heading towards the bedroom door, “You feeling alright?”

She nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine,”

“Good,” He mumbled, staying silent for a second or two, “I’m proud of you Cass,”

She smiled at him and sat up on the bed, “Thanks. Um... I think I’m going to get a bit of fresh air now I feel good enough to move,”

“Alright. I’ll be here when you get back. Be careful,”

She nodded and waited for him to go into the bathroom before she changed out of her pyjamas.

Alex

Twenty minutes later, Alex was finished changing in the bedroom and was rubbing his hair with a towel as he glanced around the room. His eyes landed on the table beside the bed when Cassie had placed her ring earlier on. He frowned when he noticed it was bare. Wandering over to it, he looked around the floor to see if it had fallen. It was nowhere to be seen.

A sigh left his lips as he feared the worst.

He heard the door to the suite close and Cassie wandered in.

“Hey,” She smiled.

He nodded in acknowledgement, “Hi,” He let his eyes wander over her arms but her hands were stuffed into her coat pockets.

“I’ve found this really quaint little cafe a block or two away, do you fancy going there for a bit? Just to get out?”

“Yeah, sure- Just let me get my shoes and dry my hair,”

“Okay, I’ll be in here,” She gestured towards the sitting room and then walked out.

Fifteen minutes later, the two had left the suite and Alex was walking back to a table with two coffees and muffins. He sat down across from Cassie who’d chosen a table earlier.

“Here you go,” He smiled, sliding her things away from her.

Cassie’s hands slowly came out from her pockets where they’d been fixated for the whole journey. Her eyes stayed on the cup in front of her and Alex noticed the familiar glistening diamond on her finger. He didn't mention it.

He sighed lightly and bit into his muffin, realising it was too much to ask of her, too early.

Maybe she just wasn’t strong enough yet.

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'Even Though Your Trust Is Broken In Two, Girl I Promise I'll Do Whatever I Can Do To Keep You'

JLS