Love is a Dangerous Game

I snuck around the side of the house, my heart pounding, my eyes waiting for any movement, my ears straining to catch even the faintest sound. Nothing. I sprinted to the little house next door, noting the houses with lights on and which ones seemed quiet. Nothing looked suspicious.

I tiptoed to the door, opening it with one hand, the other on the gun on my thigh. I thanked God there was no squeaking. I shut it quietly behind me, my feet tapping lightly on the laminate floor. I passed the kitchen, dining room, the family room, and made my way to the stairs. Thank heavens the house was new and the stairs didn’t creak.

I slowly walked to the door at the end of the hallway, pulling my gun from the holster at the same time. I thought about how stupid it was to accept this assignment. I tried not to think about what waited behind that door. I blocked those thoughts out of my mind, my attention now solely focused on the task at hand.

The door smoothly opened under my hands, even though those hands were shaking. It was dark inside, and even though the window was open, it was hot. There was a bed in the far corner of the room. I walked towards it; conscience of the clothes on the floor, and the books and CD’s strewn across the room. I made my way to the bedside, my breath catching in my throat as I looked upon the figure of a sleeping boy. No matter how often I saw him, or how long I look at his face, I can’t get over how beautiful he is.

I brought my arms out in front of me, the gun along with them. As my fingers clutched the trigger, I could feel the tears running down my face. I was choking on screams, my body racked with sobs. I didn’t know if I could do it. I hadn’t even hurt him yet, and it was already more painful than I had imagined.

Suddenly, his eyes started fluttering, and then they popped open, startling me with a bang and clash of vivid green. I took a step backwards, shocked into silence as he stared at me in confusion. First at my face, then at my clothing, and lastly to the gun in my hands. His beautiful eyes widened, fear registering onto his face.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. What was I doing? Did I really think I would have had the strength to actually hurt him? Never.

I dropped that damned weapon, took one more look at his pained face, and bolted out of that house. I ran down the street, letting my legs carry me as far as they possibly could. For the first time, I was running from something.

I was running from pain, shame, confusion, and everything that had ever been good to me. But most of all, I was running from the one thing I had never thought I could ever find.

Love.