Breaking The Silence

Braelyn sub-consciously tapped her leg against the bench, making a ‘clunk’ every time her leg and the wooden bench collided with one another. She couldn’t believe what just happened to her. The youth leader, Carmella, had an addiction to drinking, and if Braelyn hadn’t caught her at it or overheard Carmella and the priest talking the other day, then Braelyn wouldn’t have been in this mess in the first place. She should have just minded her own business in the first place.

But how could she do that to Carmella? After all, Carmella was kind to her. She didn’t get irritated when Braelyn hadn’t spoken back to her or demanded to know why she didn’t speak. It felt like Carmella already knew what was wrong with her without having to ask. But everything happened all too fast. One minute, Carmella was the good Christian girl praying to God, and the next minute she’d be somewhere else getting drunk. And now, Carmella propelled a huge responsibility to Braelyn that she could not dodge. It was all wrong.

The sound of loud footsteps broke Braelyn’s train of thought. But who could have been here at this time? It was almost midnight – hours after Braelyn had caught Carmella drinking, who then walked her back home just in case she decided to drink again – and the Priest was asleep in his room.

“Hey,” a soft voice came besides her.

Braelyn looked up at the person who spoke and smiled warmly back at him. It was Nick. He was dressed in a gray coloured jumper that was pushed up to his elbows, and grey coloured track pants. His feet, where covered in a pair of white vans with dirt strains all over it.

She quickly pulled out the notepad and pen she had always kept on her and quickly began to write.

What are you doing here so late at night? she wrote.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he answered quietly, as he sat down next to her. Braelyn stopped tapping her leg against the bench and pulled her legs to her chest. “Too much on my mind I suppose.”

What’s on your mind?

“Nothing,” he shrugged nonchalantly. “Forget that I ever told you that. Anyway, why are you up so late?” Now, Nick was hoping he could shift the attention to her.

Braelyn eyed him suspiciously wondering what was actually on his mind. He was hiding something, but Braelyn pushed the thought aside, knowing how hypocritical it would be if she asked him to go on since she never told him anything deep.

The brunette thought for a moment wondering if she should tell him about Carmella’s problem. But if she did, she felt like she was betraying Carmella. Only she and Reverend Jackson knew about Carmella’s problem. But one more person couldn’t help right?

In the end, Braelyn answered Nick’s question with just one word. Problems, she wrote.

He nodded understandingly, decided to not urge her to go on when he saw the pleading look.

“Why did you end up here?” he asked, unaware how blunt he had sounded.

Braelyn guessed he was too sleepy to even care how he sounded that the moment. Freak accident, she wrote. Doctors can’t get me to speak so they sent me here. I think they think God will put some sort of a miracle on me.

Nick smirked when he finished reading her answer, and passed it back to her. He leaned back onto the bench with his hands behind his head, which was facing the ceiling, eyes shut. “You know, maybe you should start believing in him,” he mumbled, referring to the Lord. “You’d never know how much he can give you if you just ask nicely.”

Braelyn did consider this before when she first came to the Church. But what use was it, when she didn’t believe in Jesus or God one bit? It was no use even trying! And there was too many things she wanted.

“How long have you not spoken for?”

Three years.

“What’s wrong, Braelyn?” Nick asked, suddenly. “What’s happened to you?”

He had asked her so many questions. The questions Braelyn hoped she’d avoid being asked when she first came here, but of course, they were inevitable. But now, she was going to dodge them so she sat there in silence hoping he understood to not push her on.

“Alright, alright,” he sighed. “What’s on your mind then?”

Braelyn thought for a moment, wondering if she should actually tell him. After finally deciding on what she should do, she grabbed her pen, and wrote a name on the notepad then showed it to Nick.

Carmella, it read.

Too bad Braelyn didn’t know that what she had just done was a huge mistake. And it was something she was going to regret.