Kiss Her

I'd walked into the crowded house, jumping as music started blaring through a large set of speakers on the wall. I didn't know why I'd come, maybe because I didn't get out much. Or maybe- no. I'd just needed to see my friends, that was it.

You came because he's here. Don't deny it.

No. He's not here. I don't care about him.

At least, you hope.

People stopped to say hi and chat with me as I'd made my way through the crowd. I didn't care. There was only one thought on my mind:

Get to the beer.

I'd never really drank alcohol much before, but I'd desperately wanted to get the brutally honest voice out of my head. He'd always helped me when I got like this. I'd make up some stupid excuse about school or work, and he'd believe it.

Who're you kidding? He saw right through you.

I'd shaken my head. No matter how true that was, I'd refused to believe it. Nothing was going to hold me down that night.

A sudden flash of blond brought me back to reality.

Dammit.

The very boy that I had been so hopelessly in love with, and yet, tried to avoid, was standing in front of me, smiling.

Oh God, that smile.

Shaking my head, I'd forced a smile on my face.

"Hey, Parker."

"Hey Belle. Have you seen Ashley?"

No. But she's probably out with another guy right now."No- I didn't even know she was here."

His face had fallen, making my heart break ever so slightly. I wanted to be the girl he cared about.

As if that'd ever happen.

Frowning, I'd asked the last thing I'd cared about at the moment.

"Do you know if Nick's here?"

"Yeah- I saw him earlier. He was looking for you." He'd said, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Oh..." I'd trailed off, not quite knowing what to say. "D'ya want to find him with me?"

"Sure. I've got nothing better to do." He'd replied, laughing quietly.

He'd held onto my waist, so we wouldn't get separated by the massive group of people inside.

I'd never felt so amazing in my entire life.

My happiness had ended when I'd spotted the head of dark brown hair that belonged to my boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

I'd hated myself. I really did.

I was one of those girls, I guess you could say. The kind that has a boyfriend, is completely in love with another boy, and doesn't do anything to change it.

I'd hated the way my life was- all I'd wanted was to be happy. Parker was- words couldn't even describe him. He was fun, sweet, understanding- everything that I'd wanted in a guy. Nick, he was amazing too; one of those sweet Southern boys who was raised to be a gentleman. He just wasn't enough- I guess. I'd constantly tried to force myself to stop feeling the way I did. I always failed, of course. Nick doesn't deserve this, and I sure as hell didn't deserve him. I'd been unable to break it off; I didn't want to break his heart.

"Hey babe!" Nick had said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

Parker had slipped away, choosing to stand beside Nick, instead.

"Hey," I'd replied, sighing. "Where've you been?"

"Oh, just hanging arou-" He'd paused, looking down at me. "What's wrong, darlin'?"

I'd smiled sadly; he was too good for me.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. I'm just tired." I'd replied, looking up, to meet his eyes.

"Come on. Do you want me to take you home?" He's asked, smiling lightly.

I'd glanced at Parker- he was scanning the crowd for Ashley, I'd guessed.

"Uh- yeah, if you could." I'd said, yawning.

"See ya, Parker." Nick had said, guiding my toward the door.

"Later, Belle, Nick." He'd replied, turning away, and heading back into the group.

I'd allowed him to lead me to his black Ford, and got in. He'd reached across and taken hold of my hand. Once again, I did nothing. The ride home was silent- one that you could call comfortable.

"Thank you," I'd whispered as I'd opened the door.

"No problem, babe." He'd said, getting out, too.

He'd walked me to the door, as usual, stopping as we reached the front steps.

"G'night, Belle."

"Good night, Nick." I'd replied, getting on my tiptoes and kissing him lightly.

He'd waited until I'd shut the door behind me to head back to the truck, leaving me to sink to the floor and think the one thought that made me so incredibly sick.

It felt wrong.