I Will Not Kiss You

Ellis was standing outside by the school gate with his friends. They all sneered as I approached. Mikey isn’t well so I’m by myself. He’s been off all week with a stomach bug. I feel sorry for him because his Mom told me on the phone that he’s been puking up five times a day and he can’t keep any food down. I asked if I could visit some time but she said I’d better wait until he’s better in case I catch it from him.

“Where’s the nerd?” Ellis jeered as I got closer.

One of his friends joined in, looking at Ellis the whole time.

“Yeah! Where’s the fag’s bro?”

“Get lost!” I snapped.

They laughed and went ‘Ooooh’ at me. I didn’t like it. They continued to make fun of me and Mikey and I got very angry and upset. Mom says I should ignore them but it’s not as easy as that. She also says I shouldn’t let them see I’m upset. That’s not always easy either.

“Aww look,” Ellis’s girlfriend, Carly, cooed “He’s gonna’ cry!”

I blinked to stop the tears welling up. That happens a lot when I’m upset! These tears well up but I never actually cry. I used to cry whenever someone shouted at me when I was younger because I got so scared and upset.

“Oh my God!” Ellis yelled “How pathetic is that?”

They all laughed again and started pointing at me. Then Brad poked me so that I jerked back away from him, lost my balance and almost fell over. Everyone laughed at me and Brad grabbed my arm. I stepped away from him and someone behind me poked my back in between my shoulder blades. Ellis led the laughter as I lashed out blindly behind me.

“Do it again.” Ellis laughed as they all started poking at me.

There were about three or four people poking and touching me. I kept hitting at them all, feeling smothered. Eventually I let out a loud scream and hit madly at anyone who came near me. They all screamed with laughter at me, making crude imitations of me. I screamed as loud as I could and punched out blindly. My flailing fist caught someone’s face and Ellis yelled at me. He got up and punched my stomach. I screamed again from pain and fear. And then someone shouted ‘Hey leave him alone!’. Everyone stopped and looked to see who the voice belonged to. They all laughed louder when they saw who it was. I didn’t look; I just backed away and curled up by the school fence.

“What are you gonna’ do about it, fag?”

“I said leave him alone!”

“Why should we listen to a sick faggot like you?”

“I don’t care that you’re in school and that I’m four years older, I will punch you straight in your smug little face if you don’t beat it and leave him the hell alone!”

“Bring it, queer.”

“What, you think I won’t?”

“C’mon Ellis!” A girl said “Let’s just go, ok? This sicko’s not worth it!”

“Yeah, that’s right Ellis. Go make-out with your pretty little girlfriend behind some public bathroom or something.”

And then someone was stepping closer to me. I edged away, swiping a hand out fearfully. He crouched down to look at me but I buried my face in my arms.

“Frank?”

I looked up and was met with Gerard’s face. He didn’t look angry and he wasn’t making the face Ellis or his friends were. He looked sad.

“Are you ok?” He asked “I saw them giving you a pretty hard time!”

“Mm.”

“Don’t worry, they’re gone.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s ok,” He said, smiling “They don’t have any licence to upset you like that! I saw you hitting them from my car.”

“Why are you here?”

“Mikey asked me to come in and see his teachers about any homework or assignments they set! I don’t get that kid some times. He’s supposed to be sick and taking time off but he’s adamant that he does the work he’s missed out on.”

I shrugged. He smiled again and sat down properly, crossing his legs.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” He asked “They didn’t hurt you?”

“It always hurts when they touch me because I don’t know they’re gonna’ do it!”

“So, if I said to you ‘Hey, Frank, I’m gonna’ pat your arm’ you wouldn’t be hurt?”

“Yeah, but I don’t like strangers touching me either!”

“I’m not a stranger am I?”

“I don’t know you very well.”

“But you know who I am, right?”

“I suppose…”

“Anyway, I won’t contradict you! I’ll respect your opinions.”

“Ok.”

There was a silence after that. Gerard pulled up a clump of grass and started tearing the blades individually with his long fingers. I wondered what he was thinking about. Me. A boyfriend. The weather. If his best friend’s dog has given birth yet. He could be thinking about anything. He smiled widely.

“I’d better go get Mikey’s work for him. You wanna’ come? And then I’ll drive you home if you like.”

“Um…”

“C’mon,” He smiled “I’d feel better if I knew you got home ok.”

I thought. He’s a stranger. But what if Ellis and his friends come back? I’d be done for. He got up and slowly extended a hand. I thought for a long time before letting him help me up. He smiled and gestured towards the school.

“Shall we?”

“Um…yeah.”…

…I had to give Gerard directions to my Dad’s place which he found a lot easier to find than my Mom’s. I haven’t seen Dad for a week. Mom said I shouldn’t stay mad at him and should go and see him like normal. So I reluctantly agreed. Gerard pulled up and waved me goodbye.

“Thank you very much for everything, Gerard.” I smiled politely.

He laughed, smiling himself.

“No prob.”

I said ‘Goodbye’ and turned to let myself in. Gerard waited until I’d stepped inside before driving off. I closed the door and climbed up the stairs until I reached Dad’s apartment and opened the door. Dad was talking to me immediately.

“Who was that guy in the car?” He demanded.

“No one.”

“Oh right. So you just took a ride from a complete stranger did you?”

“No,” I argued “It was Gerard.”

“Who the hell is Gerard?!”

“Mikey’s older brother.”

Then a ladies voice said ‘What’s all the yelling for?’ and Nadine stepped out from the kitchen. She gave me a big smile when she saw me and waved her fingers.

“Hi Frank. How are you, honey? Good day at school?”

“Fine thanks.” I mumbled, wandering out into the living room.

The TV was on when I walked in and two little faces stared at me from the couch. Dad came in behind me and saw my shock.

“Uh…yeah I meant to tell you Frank. Harry, Ben, this is Frank!”

“Who are you?” The blonde one, who I assumed was Ben, demanded.

“Who are you?” I said angrily.

“I asked you first!” He argued.

“Get lost you snot-faced little brat.” I replied, instantly deciding I didn’t like him.

“Hey that’s enough!” Dad said quickly.

“Whatever.” I mumbled, walking into my room and pulling the door shut.

This is just what I need. Dad’s stupid girlfriend and Dad’s girlfriend’s stupid kids. I don’t really need them, I was being what’s called sarcastic which is when you mean the opposite of what you say. For example: I love eating hamburgers! But I really mean ‘I hate eating hamburgers’ because I’m vegetarian and I think meat is murder. So I don’t want Dad’s girlfriend and her kids here.