Almost Easy

The last couple weeks were hard, she got pailer and pailer, then she was gone, I never thought that she would go so soon... I felt a certain emptiness in me. It was almost like how I felt when my grandmother died, so lost, so... alone.

I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I saw no one. I opened the cabinet and saw it ... an old razor. I thought about it ... is my life worth living? No, everything is gone ... I am now worthless. I called Abby and got her answering machine, I told her where I live and that she can have whatever she wants.

I filled the bathtub, making sure it was nice and warm, got undressed, and grabbed the razor. I got into the tub and took the razor into my hand. I looked at it for awhile. It shined in the light, I saw myself in it, it mirrored me, I smiled. I knew what was going to happen, I knew what would be waiting.

I grabbed the bible, not just a bible, my grandmothers. I looked at the razor and cutt my wrists as deep as I could. The blood was gushing, I tried to cutt my other wrist but my hand wouldn't move the way I wanted it to. I put the blade in my mouth and brought my arm to my face. I put the razor to my wrist and cutt.

I dropped my arms into the hot water and saw the blood drain. It was an awkward feeling to know that in a little while, I'd be gone. As my sight started to fade I whispered to my self ... "as the dark angel comes to take me away to the darkened promise land...".