Save Me
Chapter 3: Under Water
Imagine you are under water, holing your breath. You are swimming fine and you are pacing yourself so you don’t get too tired. As you move your arms, you happen to spot the bottom of the pool with its unique design. What a beautiful site.
Now imagine that you are swimming upward to the surface but you aren’t making any progress. Like someone is tugging on your ankle to keep you from going up. Your air is running out and you are on the verge of not breathing.
That is how I feel now. Drowning in a swimming pool of sadness, I do not exist any more.
Shooting out of my slumber, I hear a thud. My heart pounded against my rib cage, as I walked out the door. Another thud bounced off the hall way walls, making me jump. Thud. Thud. Thud.
Getting annoyed, I look to my left where Evan was staying. I glanced through the peep hole; I see Evan intertwined with a woman on the bed. Anger boiling inside me, I stomp down the hall way.
‘Does he have no respect?! This is Zack’s house and he is using it as a whore house,’ my angry thoughts roamed my head as I slipped on some jeans.
I need get out of this house and fast. Putting the keys in the ignition, I peeled out of the drive way. Not knowing to go, I went to the place where I know to well.
Pulling up to the white house, my breath caught in my throat. Letting out a shaky breath, I tried off the car and walked up the stone walk way. My sneakers making a scuffing sound as I did so.
A blood shot eyed, Brett opened the door. His once beautiful blonde mane now a messy mop and his bright electric blue eyes, now a dull blue…he was taking this the same way I was. My lower lip trembled as he brought me close and hugged me in a tight hug.
I stayed there for a few days. We started talking about the past with Zack and he showed me some home videos. Somehow it helped me a bit, but then it ripped me another tare in my heart. Just when I think I am better, I somehow make it worse. It’s a curse I have.
“You know,” Brett looked across the couch at me, “You were his life,”
That was a blow to my stomach and my heart bursted, “He was mine,” I whispered back.
“You can’t keep on beating yourself up, Em,” He looked at me with saddened eyes, “It was that driver’s fault,”
“No,” I let some tears run down my cheeks, “It was mostly mine. If I just~”
“No, Em,” Brett snapped at me, “It wasn’t. Now stop beating yourself up!”
I sank down in my cushion and played with my hands. Hair fell in my eyes as I continued to silently weep. I felt a strong arm pull me close to a warm body as I cried harder. I felt his chest rise and then drop a few times. Brett was the macho guy who never cries but this hit home and he broke down.
Brett hugged me and let me cry for what seemed like hours. He was like my little piece of Zack. I saw some Zack in him. The way he spoke, his gentle touch, and the way he always tries to cheer me.
But you know what I know now? Brett is right. It isn’t my fault. Sometimes it makes it easier to blame someone. I know it’s the wrong thing, but it makes some things better.
~
I woke up in Zack’s bed. My brows knit together as I looked around. I saw Evan sitting on a chair near the bed. Cringing, I moved over so I wasn’t near him and his disrespectfulness.
“Good you are up,” He smiled. I looked straight ahead and didn’t respond. “You gave me quite a scare; I didn’t know where you were,”
“You shouldn’t worry,” I whispered, barely audible.
“What?” He asked.
“You aren’t my babysitter,” I looked at him, “You don’t need to worry,” I stated coldly, looking back up at the ceiling.
“I think I have a right to worry about a fragile little girl,” Evan snapped.
Anger boiled inside of me, “I am not fragile and I am twenty-four,” I spat.
“Right, just a little girl,” He repeated. My arms ripped away the sheets and I sprung forward at him. I was a good three inches away from his face.
“You are just a horny old looking man who needs to hump a chick in his dead best friend’s house,” I practically growled, stomping out of the room and locking myself in the bathroom.
Now imagine that you are swimming upward to the surface but you aren’t making any progress. Like someone is tugging on your ankle to keep you from going up. Your air is running out and you are on the verge of not breathing.
That is how I feel now. Drowning in a swimming pool of sadness, I do not exist any more.
Shooting out of my slumber, I hear a thud. My heart pounded against my rib cage, as I walked out the door. Another thud bounced off the hall way walls, making me jump. Thud. Thud. Thud.
Getting annoyed, I look to my left where Evan was staying. I glanced through the peep hole; I see Evan intertwined with a woman on the bed. Anger boiling inside me, I stomp down the hall way.
‘Does he have no respect?! This is Zack’s house and he is using it as a whore house,’ my angry thoughts roamed my head as I slipped on some jeans.
I need get out of this house and fast. Putting the keys in the ignition, I peeled out of the drive way. Not knowing to go, I went to the place where I know to well.
Pulling up to the white house, my breath caught in my throat. Letting out a shaky breath, I tried off the car and walked up the stone walk way. My sneakers making a scuffing sound as I did so.
A blood shot eyed, Brett opened the door. His once beautiful blonde mane now a messy mop and his bright electric blue eyes, now a dull blue…he was taking this the same way I was. My lower lip trembled as he brought me close and hugged me in a tight hug.
I stayed there for a few days. We started talking about the past with Zack and he showed me some home videos. Somehow it helped me a bit, but then it ripped me another tare in my heart. Just when I think I am better, I somehow make it worse. It’s a curse I have.
“You know,” Brett looked across the couch at me, “You were his life,”
That was a blow to my stomach and my heart bursted, “He was mine,” I whispered back.
“You can’t keep on beating yourself up, Em,” He looked at me with saddened eyes, “It was that driver’s fault,”
“No,” I let some tears run down my cheeks, “It was mostly mine. If I just~”
“No, Em,” Brett snapped at me, “It wasn’t. Now stop beating yourself up!”
I sank down in my cushion and played with my hands. Hair fell in my eyes as I continued to silently weep. I felt a strong arm pull me close to a warm body as I cried harder. I felt his chest rise and then drop a few times. Brett was the macho guy who never cries but this hit home and he broke down.
Brett hugged me and let me cry for what seemed like hours. He was like my little piece of Zack. I saw some Zack in him. The way he spoke, his gentle touch, and the way he always tries to cheer me.
But you know what I know now? Brett is right. It isn’t my fault. Sometimes it makes it easier to blame someone. I know it’s the wrong thing, but it makes some things better.
~
I woke up in Zack’s bed. My brows knit together as I looked around. I saw Evan sitting on a chair near the bed. Cringing, I moved over so I wasn’t near him and his disrespectfulness.
“Good you are up,” He smiled. I looked straight ahead and didn’t respond. “You gave me quite a scare; I didn’t know where you were,”
“You shouldn’t worry,” I whispered, barely audible.
“What?” He asked.
“You aren’t my babysitter,” I looked at him, “You don’t need to worry,” I stated coldly, looking back up at the ceiling.
“I think I have a right to worry about a fragile little girl,” Evan snapped.
Anger boiled inside of me, “I am not fragile and I am twenty-four,” I spat.
“Right, just a little girl,” He repeated. My arms ripped away the sheets and I sprung forward at him. I was a good three inches away from his face.
“You are just a horny old looking man who needs to hump a chick in his dead best friend’s house,” I practically growled, stomping out of the room and locking myself in the bathroom.