Hallelujah

Bob.

My mom had never been the drinker -- that was my dad. She used to say that we only needed one alcoholic in this family, but she'd laugh after that, and I shrugged off the remark.

Now, though, in the past two weeks that my dad had left us, she'd been spending nights at bars rather than her night shift at work. I was surprised she was still employed. When she wasn't drunk, she was overly emotional, venting and crying on my shoulder. I didn't say anything, but I wanted to scream at her that I had feelings too. I wasn't Dr. Fucking Phil.

One Saturday morning, I woke to a sudden burst of light. Groaning, I pried my eyes open to see my mother -- showered, dressed, combed hair -- opening the blinds and turning on the lights.

"Rise and shine, Mr. Sleepyhead! I have some news,"

It was the first time I'd seen her genuinely smile, look or act normal in weeks. I pulled myself out of bed, half nervous as to what this "news" was.

In the kitchen she'd made chocolate-chip pancakes, my favorite. I sat down, staring at a stack drizzled in maple syrup and butter and a huge glass of milk. She smelled like perfume, setting down the silverware for me.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

She sat across from me, watching tentively. I took a big bite so as not to hurt her feelings.

"What's going on?" I finally asked.

"Oh, right, the news. Bob...I think there's bad...karma here. A bad aura. Bad vibes. Bad --:"

"I get it,"

She laughed nervously, sighed. "I want to move to the east coast," She said suddenly.

I dropped my fork on instinct, letting it clatter against my plate. "You want to what?"

"Move. I was thinking New York, or New Jersey. Connecticut's a little too fancy for us..."

"Mom, you can't be serious." I almost wanted to start laughing. She was officially going crazy.

"Bobby, I am," She said softly, reaching over to grasp my cold hands. I stared at her, bewildered. "I want a clean slate."

"You can't get a clean slate here?"

She shook her head.

The ironic thing was that though I hadn't spoken to Delilah in a little over a week, she was the first thing that entered my mind. I wasn't leaving her here. I wasn't leaving her, vulnerable and alone, with Shane, for the rest of her life.

"I can't go," I said quietly.

My mom laughed. "Yes, you are, kiddo." She stood, clearing my half-eaten plate. She turned around, fierce, hands on hips.

"Start packing."