Wasting Love

That morning we didn't get caught. I got Duff out of the house before either Bill or my father noticed. The summer turned into fall which slowly grew into spring. The three of our sixteenth birthdays came and passed and then I barely passed grade ten, through all of that though me and Michael lasted unlike Bill and his many girlfriends. That year though a particular day stands out to me, it was the middle of Janurary, two weeks before our sixteenth birthdays.

Schools we're closed due to heavy snowstorms which in turn meant that both me and Bill were stuck upstairs with our crazy ass step-father downstairs. Bill was in his room listening to some long-lost record and I was in my room reading of course. The door opened with a gentle creak but thinking it was Bill I didn't look up, then with a loud bang it slammed shut. The sudden amount of noise made me look up and then to my horror saw the man who was anything but a father figure standing there with an evil glint in his eyes. The book fell from my hands and landed with a gentle thud on the carpeted floor as he began to stagger towards me. Please let Bill hear the awful silence and come and check on me. I though to myself as it came to a stop in front of me.

"Hey baby." He slurred as he sat down beside me, the stench of alchol overwhelmed me as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Get away from me!" I snapped and made a weak attempt to push him away from me.

"Oh baby you don't mean that. You wouldn't tell your little boyfriend to get lost would you?" He replied running his fingers along my cheekbone, I flinched back but in response to my sudden movement he grabbed the back of my head and pressed his lips to mine. To make matters worse he pushed me backwards and pinned me down to the bed only once taking his lips from mine to grab a quick breath. His hands slid down along my body until they reached my waist, he then slid his hands underneath the fabric of my sweatpants and underwear before sliding them off before moving onto his own. He didn't waste anytime taking off either of our shirts. He took his lips off mine for a moment for a breath while I tried to let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"Now, now we don't want to do that now do we?" He whispered to me putting his hand over my mouth then standing up. "Now suck it you stupid bitch." He said roughly, I shot him a look of horror. "Don't give me that stupid look, suck it." He insisted as he played with him member. I shook my head and that's when he finally had it with me. "Get on your fucking knees." He snarled, grabbing a fistful of my hair and pulling me onto the floor.

"No, don't make me please." I wimpered, he let out a feral snarl as he shoved it into my mouth. After that I can't be sure of what did happen but I do know that it hurt a lot though.

He left me alone in my room after what seemed like an eternity but when I looked at my clock it had only been an hour of so. Shaking I pulled on a pair of long pants and shoes then walked out of my room.

"Are you ok?" Bill asked quietly from the now open door of his room.

"What do you think?" I answered as tears started to flood my eyes.

"Listen Rox, I didn't know-" He started.

"Don't say that!" I screeched at him and started to walk down the stairs.

"Where the hell are you going?" He called running down the stairs after me, I didn't answer instead I broke into a run pulling open te door and then running out into the cold. Bill didn't follow instead he yelled "shit" out the door then slammed it shut.

"Good riddence." I huffed as I slowed down at the end of the drive, it was cold that was for sure but there was no-way I was going back in that house at this moment and I sure as hell wasn't going over to Duff's since it was quite likely that Bill had already called. Turning at the end of our street I started to walk down to the little park at the end of the street and by the time I had gotten there I was already half frozen. At that point I didn't care how cold I was there was no way I was going back. On one side of the park closest to me stood a lone pine tree where I huddled up against it.

"Roxanne?!" I heard Duff call from a distance, I rolled my eyes it sure didn't take long for Bill to call up everyone.

"Thanks man, I owe you one." I heard Bill tell Duff after a few minutes of silence, they were close by that was obvious, but how close? Close enough to see me hidden behind the tree? Probably not.

"No, you don't owe me one. I'd be out looking for her even if you hadn't asked me to." He replied softly, so softly that I could barely hear him.

"Yeah, yeah." Bill scoffed with a laugh, "here you go through the park and I'll head back over to your place in case she went over there." He added after a moment.

"Ok, I'll hollar if I find her." Duff replied, Bill nodded his head before walking away. As soon as he was out of hearing range he turned so he was facing the tree. "Rox I know your there so come on out." He said loudly then shot a quick glance over his shoulder making sure that Bill hadn't heard. By then the tips of my fingers had begun to turn blue and I was so cold that every breath had begun to hurt. When I didn't answer he looked around then walked towards me, feet crunching on the snow. "Jesus Christ Rox! You're frozen." He exclaimed as he bent down beside me. I didn't answer instead I shivered, he shook his head then peeled off his jacket and put it around my slim shoulders.

"Rox I know it's a stupid question but why the hell are you out here?" He asked after a moment, I didn't answer for a moment, just thinking of what I would say.

"It was him." I choked out through my frozen lips.

"Oh Rox." He said sympathectically wrapping his arms around me and pulling me up agains his chest. "Hey look at me." He murmured as he used his hand to tip up my chin so I was looking at him. I gave him a sad smile and shook my head before burying my head in his chest and started to sob. "Its okay Rox, it's okay." He told me calmly as he stroked my hair.

"Huh, huh, here take your jacket, your gonna freeze." I said through the sobs and shrugged off his jacket.

"No I'm fine." He assured me and put his jacked back on me. I shook my head and shrugged it off again, he let out a long peeling laugh before he spoke again. "C'mon we gotta get back to your house before we both freeze." He said, I shook my head firmly and he let out a sigh. "Comme on Rox." He coaxed then pushed me away and stood up. I looked at him in surprise and saw his smiling face. "Get up I'm leaving." He said with a laugh, I gave him my best grumpy look before he offered me his hand. "Well?" He prodded after a moment, I rolled my eyes making sure that he saw before taking his hand.

"Let's go." I told him quietly as he pulled me up with ease, he nodded his head in agreement then interlocked my fingers with his. It wasn't snowing as bad as it had been, the snowflakes were floating through the air instead of storming downwards. We walked back to my house not exchanging a single word.

"D'ya want to come it?" I asked Duff as he stopped at my doorstep and let out of my hand.

"I don't know? I mean is your dad there?" He asked cautiously looking at me while I chewed my lip nervously.

"I don't know, I think so." I replied quietly shooting a glance at the window.

"Well." He paused thinking for a moment. "Let's go inside and if he's there then I'll stay and if not then I'll go find Bill." He answered picking his words carefully. I nodded in agreement before twisting the know and pushing the door open. From the other room the TV was blaring but I crossed my fingers that it was just Bill and not the old man.

"Come on let's go upstairs." I whispered to Duff shrugging off his jacket and tugging on his hand.

"No let me meet your dad so we can just get this over with." He replied taking a step towards the noise and then another.

"No don't" I said quietly, earning a curious look from him. "Please." I said as he shook his head firmly. "Duff please don't because then I'm gonna be in trouble again." I said in a pleading tone. That sure made him stop, in fact he even admitted a sigh of defeat and turned around.

"Fine let's go upstairs." He admitted in defeat then gave me a sly smile and ran after me. I let out a laugh then bolted up the stairs with Duff hot on my heels. He was laughing as he caught me at the top of the staircase then pressed his lips to mine.

"Mhhmm Duff stop." I murmured pulling away, our faces were milimetres apart but not touching, his eyes were just so blue and he was mine all mine. . .