Pencils, Dust, and Imperfection

Are you sure about this?

As sure as I could possibly be.

But this is your wife, your life. I don't know her or know what to say. I could mess up everything even more!

That isn't possible.

But why me?

...You're wondering why I chose you over Christian?

No. I'm just wondering why you chose me over yourself.

I trust you.

More than yourself?

Right now - yes.

Look, I'm a nervous wreck. I'd say something wrong or do something stupid just because of this anxiety. You can keep yourself together, though, and you're capable of comforting Adrienne and being kind to her, unlike Christian.

But I can't do something like this!
How do I explain what Christian did? Should I tell her about Christian and me?

I don't know. That would be the easiest, but most painful way. She's either not going to believe a word, or she'll completely panic and--

And what could you possibly say to make it better? Lying to her because you're trying to protect her will backfire whenever you go to the hospital...which you're going to do, right?

I don't know, Gloria! Can you just do this for me before I have a panic attack?

Fine. If you promise to go to the--

I'm not promising to do anything until this mess between Adrienne and I is cleaned up.

Fine! But I can't just become dominant, if MPD is what you have...or can I?

I don't know. I'm just saying, if you take over, do your part in helping me with Adrienne, OK?

OK.

I arrived at my Oakland home for the first time since leaving for Minnesota last month. I parked my car in the garage and exhaled softly as I tried to remain courageous and positive.

Why are you so nervous, Billie?
She said she wanted to talk.

That doesn't mean things are going to go over well.
You never know with Adrienne; I could either be completely forgiven, or she could hand me divorce papers.

I doubt either one of those will happen.
The first scenario would be nice, though.

I sighed before opening my front door. A few moments after I did, I was greeted with a hug from my youngest son, Jakob, and a reluctant smile from my wife. I followed her upstairs where I anticipated the worst.

"Where's Joey?" I asked as we passed his vacant bedroom.

"At Matthew's," she answered, naming one of his friends.

I nodded before we entered our bedroom. We sat on our bed and Adrienne began.

"The last couple of months have been bad for us," she stated. "Not really bad," she quickly amended, before adding, "But not great. You've been working, which always seems to strain us... but I don't think that is the problem. We've gone through that a dozen times before, and it's never been like this. You've been distant, and we've both been stressed out...is the stress causing you to be distant or vice versa?

...Ok, a lot to digest.
You are apparently still dominant, so say something.

What should I say? What's the right answer?

I don't think there is one.

Well, which one is less wrong?

Tell her the distance is causing you stress. Then she'll ask 'why' and you can explain about Christian and me.

How about no?

Ugh, Christian! Go away!

Oh, that was original...
And I can't go away, since I just became dominant.

What!?

I said I can't because I just be--

"Billie?"

Christian, stop! Please!
Please, if you have any regard for me at all, you'll--

"I don't know what you're talking about. I've done nothing wrong."

Christian!

What the hell are you doing!?

"What do you mean?" the wife questioned, stunned. "You lit my mother's corpse on fire!"

"I'll light you on fire!" I replied in a sexual manner.

You sonuvabitch.

The wife just stared at me for a few seconds.
It was funny and peaceful to see her so speechless.
Eventually, she softly ordered. "Get out."

"Gladly," I responded as I stood up.

"No, I mean out--out of this house," she crooned. She stood up also and hurried towards the closet. She pulled out one of Armstrong's suitcases and filled it quickly. "Today was your last chance, Billie," she said tearfully. "I shouldn't have even given you one. I should have fucking left before you came back... I should have left the goddamn--"

"You're upset--I get it," I interjected. "But just because you're pissy doesn't mean my ears have to bleed."

She shoved the suitcase at my chest and quickly rushed to the front door where I happily followed.

"I'll take care of the kids, since you never did anyway." She hissed.

"Have fun!" I replied as she slammed the door in my face.