Did You Get What You Deserve?

I bounced up and down, trying to calm my nerves. Mrs Arbelle hurried past and gave me a hassled smile.

“You’re already costumed, good girl. Makeup?”

I shook my head.

“I can’t find Jenny.”

“Oh no.”

She clipped the walkie-talkie off her belt and spoke into it. Then, after listening intently, she looked up at me worriedly.

“She isn’t here yet.”

James came up to us.

“Problem?”

“Jenny’s not here!”

“Yeah, I was just looking for her. She’s supposed to have been doing makeup already for the past half hour.”

The doors banged open and Jenny rushed in, straightening her thick glasses.

“I’m so sorry. The traffic was awful, and then we ran out of petrol...”

She sat down heavily in the chair in front of the makeup desk.

“Okay, who am I doing first?”

I sat down opposite her and she proceeded to apply copious amounts of powder to my face.
When she finally sat back and declared me done, I went and sat in the corner to recite my lines.

I was buried deep inside my own head when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and turned around.

“Shit! James!”

He grinned.

“Mrs Arbelle is calling everyone backstage.”

“Oh shit.”

I jumped up.

“Let’s go then.”

As we walked through the doors into the backstage area, I allowed myself to relax for a moment to test my nerves. My whole body shuddered and I tensed up again.

James felt the slight movement and put an arm around me.

“You’ll be fine. At least you’ve got me by your side. At least it’s me and not Scott.”

As we passed Laura, she turned and hissed at me.

“Good luck, slut.”

“Actually, Laura, the term is ‘break a leg.’ It’s bad luck to say good luck.”

“Exactly.”

I smiled.

“Break a leg, Laura.”

James grinned as we walked on.

“Glad to see you’re the bigger person.”

As we stood waiting, one by one the other students went onstage. Finally I was standing fairly alone. I squeezed my fingers tightly as Lindsay and Kate talked onstage, and finally Lindsay turned and called,

“God forbid! Where’s this girl? What, Juliet!”

I took a deep breath and stepped onstage.

“How now! Who calls?”

My voice was steady and I felt my nerves disappear. However, they seemed to have taken my lines with them. My mind was blank, and I could remember no more of my lines from that scene. Lindsay smiled reassuringly.

“Your mother.”

“Madam, I am here. What is your will?”

The words came out of their own accord. Then Lindsay and Kate began their long-winded discussion about how old I was while I tried frantically to remember my lines. On the other side of the stage, in the wings, I could see James. He registered the panic on my face, which thankfully I was at such an angle the audience could not see, and grabbed the script book. He opened it to the correct page and flattened it on the table beside him. Then he frowned a moment in thought. He held up his hands, and relief flooded through my body. Sign language. Thank god for health class, where they make you learn this stuff. I watched James’ hands intently.

And S-T-I-N-T you too I pray you nurse say I.

I barely contained a grin. With limited knowledge of sign language, it was the best we could do. Then I heard Lindsay’s last line:

“‘Wilt thou not, Jule?’ it stinted and said ‘Ay.’”

I looked up.

“And stint thou too, I pray thee, nurse, say I.”

Lindsay smiled.

“Peace, I have done. God mark thee to his grace.
Thou wast the prettiest babe that e'er I nursed:
An I might live to see thee married once,
I have my wish.”

And so the scene went on.

**Author's Note: Stage fright. Nasty. I've had it, it's horrible. Your mind goes blank, and you think you're going to make a fool of yourself in front of everybody. Funnily enough, it happened to me during our performance in class of a scene from Romeo and Juliet. I was Romeo, and our group did Act 3 Scene 1. I got out "Again, in triumph, and Mercutio slain?" And then my mind went completely blank. Alex as Tybalt was mouthing "come on, come on," (yes, bookwormwashere, you) and I was just staring at the floor going shit, shit, shit and so I just skipped straight to "Mercutio's soul is but a little way above our heads."
But yeah. That was my encounter with the dreaded stage fright.**