Did You Get What You Deserve?

14th February 2023

Dear James,

Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope you’re having fun in Cali – you haven’t been on MSN much lately, I guess you’ve been too busy.

So much has happened since you left. Melanie’s pregnant, everyone’s really excited about that. School started again in January. I’ve got Alec as English teacher again, so at least I know I won’t fail this year.

I’ve been going downhill a bit since you left, I guess I just really miss you.

I don’t really know what else to write. If you were here I’d have so much to talk about, but none of it is significant enough to put into a letter.

So... take care. Have fun. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.

Love,
Alecsandra

PS. I know it’s really stupid and selfish, and I don’t want to think like this, but... I find myself hoping you’re alone today just like I am.
xx

~*Alecsandra’s Point of View*~

I sighed, staring at the short letter in my hands. That was as good as it was going to get. I folded it up and stuffed it into an envelope, then stood up and walked through to the lounge.

“Oh, hey, Alec,” I said. “I thought I heard someone out here.”

He was sitting in front of the TV. I frowned at the screen.

“What are you watching?”

“More videos of you.”

“Why?”

“I missed your childhood. I have a lot of catching up to do.”

The video of my last piano recital ended, and the image changed.

“Ooh, what’s this?” said Alec.

I stared at the video on the screen.

“Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona where we lay our scene,”

“That was our play. Romeo and Juliet.” I swallowed. “I was Juliet.”

“Awesome,” he said, turning back to the TV.

But my blood was turning cold with memories of that day.

“Turn it off.”

“What?”

“Turn it off!”

“Why?” he grinned, “did you make a fool of yourself onstage?”

“TURN IT OFF!” I screamed.

The screen went blank as Alec hit the power button, but I could still see things, things that had nothing to do with the play.

“Alec,” his voice was low with concern, “what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to remember it,” I said, my voice cracking.

He took hold of my arm, and I realised I was shaking.

“Why not?”

“That was the day-” I stopped, trying not to think about it.

“Tell me, Alecsandra.”

“That was the day I was raped.”

His grip on my arm tightened painfully.

“What?” his quiet voice had a dangerous edge.

I stared at him. I wasn’t going to repeat it.

“You never told me about this.”

“Yeah, it’s not exactly something I like to dwell on.”

“Alec,” he tried to pull me into his arms.

“No,” I said, pushing him away. “I- I’ve got to post a letter, I’m going to take a walk. Clear my head.”

He nodded sadly. I turned and dashed out the door.

When I got to the post office and posted my letter, I didn’t turn around and go straight home. Instead I went to the park.

I sat on the swing, trailing my feet in the dust, and remembered all the good times in this park. Lazy days with James, picnics with my family, games with Dani and Linda...

The rain started to fall, softly at first, but after a moment it settled into a steady rhythm, beating down on my head. I fell forward off the swing, landing on my hands and knees. I twisted my fingers in the grass, then lifted my face to feel the rain on it.

“It’s going to be okay,” I whispered, “it’ll be alright.”

I began singing softly, whispering the lullaby that James used to sing. But there was a lump rising in my throat, and after a minute all I could do was sob.

I curled up on the wet ground and tried to magic myself back home, praying that when I opened my eyes I would be in bed, warm and dry.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and I snapped upright.

“Shit!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

I blinked up at the young man crouching in front of me.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay. You shouldn’t be out here in the rain, you’ll get pneumonia.”

There was something about his voice, his accent, that I couldn’t place.

“I was- I was just-”

He smiled kindly and helped me to my feet.

“Where do you live?” he asked, “I’ll take you home.”

I hesitated, remembering the whole reason I was out here, but there was something about this man I instinctively trusted.

“It’s not far. I can walk.”

“No, I insist. I want to make sure you get home alright. There’s too many awful people around for you to be out on your own when it’s getting dark.”

After a moment, I nodded, and he led me over to the carpark. The only car parked there was a red Mercedes. He held the door open for me before going around to the driver’s side and getting in.

“Now, where do you live?”

I gave him directions to my house, and he started up the car. As we pulled out of the carpark, he glanced briefly at me.

“I’m Luke, by the way,” he said.

“Alec.”

“Alec,” he repeated, not questioning the fact that it was a boy’s name or, worse, presuming I’d said Alex.

“Yeah.”

“You lived in Jersey long?”

“All my life.”

“Ah,” he said, “I haven’t. I only moved here last year, I’m still finding my way around.”

I laughed. Something about him, the way he spoke maybe, put me completely at ease.

“Is this your house?”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

He pulled up to the curb.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Alec. Have a nice night.”

“Thanks for the lift.”

He smiled.

“Any time.”

I got out of the car and he drove off. I watched the red Mercedes until it rounded the corner and disappeared from sight.